Trust Only You
by Bree In Diamonds
Summary: Life is crashing down upon Shuichi Shindou, and is powerless to stop it. With constant bickering between him and Eiri, and no moral support from Hiro, the young pop star dissolves into a world of neglect and betrayal, becoming careless with his actions
1. Heartbroken Again

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em  
  
"He's such a jerk!"  
  
Shuichi slumped his shoulders as he stepped slowly along the freshly wet gravel.  
  
'Oh Shuichi, you know you love him,' his mind tormented.  
  
"Shut up, no need to remind me," he muttered.  
  
"No need to remind you about what, sexy?" Shuichi glanced to the side where his crimson-haired friend waved to him with a sloppy grin.  
  
"Very funny," Shuichi groaned.  
  
"Cheer up!" Hiro said, patting him on the back. "What could possibly be so devastating that you forgot to hang out with your old chum, huh?" Shuichi's eyes went wide, but contracted in a matter of seconds. They were supposed to be practicing for an upcoming knockoff, but apparently things didn't go well as planned.  
  
"Gomen..."  
  
Hiro struggled to keep his smile, even though it's been happening a lot lately.  
  
"Eh...I'm pretty sure you have a good reason for leaving me to wait in the freezing rain for hours and hours—"  
  
"Hiro, please, I said I was sorry. What more do you want?" Shuichi snipped unknowingly. Hiro's grin was immediately replaced by a frown of disgust like Shuichi was a stranger he met on the street that pissed him off. This was it; Hiro had it.  
  
"What's wrong with you, man? Are you just so lovesick these days that nothing else matters but HIM?"  
  
Shuichi stopped in his place, not daring to look into his friend's outraged eyes.  
  
"Hiro..."  
  
"Because if that's true, I'm not going to be wasting my time trying to communicate with you when all I see is him in your eyes. He's all you ever think and talk about anymore! You're losing interest in music and everything else! Do you really want to flunk out of the last month of senior year just because some jerk off steals your heart and rips it up?!" he inquired demandingly, not taking any breaths in between the sentenced and words he shot.  
  
Shuichi trembled internally at his best friend's lashes.  
  
"It's always the same story too! 'Oh Hiro, it's so terrible, Yuki this and Yuki that!' It's never anything good either! It's the same shit, just reworded!"  
  
"You don't understand, Hiro! When you're in love, then you can talk to me about this!" Shuichi cried helplessly, looking at his friend.  
  
Hiro's eyes went wide.  
  
"Talk to you about it? And piss you off like you've been doing to me these past few weeks Shuichi? I've learned from your mistakes! I don't WANT a relationship anymore, male OR female!"  
  
Shuichi swallowed the bulge in his throat and contained himself from sniveling. Hiro had never yelled at him like this. Okay, maybe on occasions they would have their disagreements, but in the end everything always worked out, but screaming never came with the territory.  
  
Hurt once more, Hiro turned, back facing Shuichi, not showing his friend any mercy.  
  
"So once you decide to give him up and get your head out of the clouds once and for all, give me a call...that is, if I still even care to talk to you," he said in a low, wounded voice.  
  
Shuichi bit his trembling lip and struggled to suck back his tears. If there's one thing he hated, it was seeing Hiro unhappy. The two had been best friends since junior high and never fought up until Shuichi started obsessing over Eiri. Their squabbles bit Shuichi where it counted and always ended up groveling back to Hiro. The gracious person he is, Hiro took the pleading boy back as his best friend, only to get heartbroken by him again hours later. It had gotten to the point where Shuichi wouldn't even have anything to do with music because of his depression. He was losing all the things that he cared about all because of one selfish asshole who wouldn't give in to his fascination.  
  
"H-Hiro—no..."  
  
Hiro shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away slowly.  
  
"Goodbye Shuichi."  
  
______________________  
  
Heartbroken and crushed, Shuichi's feet took him quickly to the doorstep of his beloved Eiri's residence. All he wanted right now was to be loved. That's not the way it used to be. He didn't even care about that until recently. Whenever he was depressed or sad, he would pound on the keyboard or surf the net, or even chill with Hiro, now he was going the impossible way to get attention to try and cure his depression. He knocked on the door. Once. Twice. Three times. No answer.  
  
"Yuki! I know you're in there! Let me in! Yuki! You promised I could come over whenever I wanted!"  
  
Still nothing.  
  
"YUUUUUUKI!"  
  
Tears ran down his face like rivers, mixing in with the sudden downpour he was stuck in.  
  
"Someone shoot me," he murmured, turning around and preparing to walk away, thinking about where he could go.  
  
"Gladly."  
  
Shuichi gasped and spun towards the voice. A grin plastered his angelic face in seconds.  
  
"Yuuuuki!"  
  
Ignoring everything ever known to his senses, he ran into Eiri and threw his arms around him, causing them both to fall flat on the ground. Shuichi's iron relentless grip was impossible to release.  
  
"Get off me you pest! You're soaked!"  
  
Shuichi dug his face into Eiri's shoulder and sobbed uncontrollably.  
  
"Dammit! You're like a kid for godsakes!"  
  
"Hiro's mad at me!" he cried suddenly. "He just started yelling, some stuff I didn't even understand, and—"  
  
Eiri used all his strength and shoved Shuichi against the wall, placing his forearm underneath the boy's chin.  
  
"When are you going to get it through your head that I. Do. NOT. Care."  
  
He released him and Shuichi fell to the ground. Eiri pulled out a pack of cigarettes and placed one carefully in between his luscious lips, lighting the end.  
  
"It's none of my concern what you and your friend talk about. It bores me just hearing about it."  
  
"Why do you have to be such a jerk?!" Shuichi lashed. "You'd be real sad if one day you never saw me again!"  
  
Eiri scoffed, rolling his cat-like eyes.  
  
"Don't get my hopes up, Shindou."  
  
Shuichi stood up, clenching his tiny fists.  
  
"Fine! If that's what you want, I'll never come here again!"  
  
Shuichi blew him raspberries with his tongue and stomped out the door. Eiri listened to the door slam and picked up something that fallen in the process.  
  
"Hmph. No skin off my back."  
  
_______________________  
  
Shuichi wandered the alleyway, bummed about having to go home. He hated it there. His mommy was always so mean to him. When she grounded him, she really GROUNDED him. As of now, he was officially grounded until the next year. Reason: eh, who knows? She just pulls a fit and grounds him for no reason. Must be Maiko's fault. It always is!  
  
He went around the bad sections of town, hoping for someone to start a fight with him and kill him. Not like he had anything more to lose. Hiro's gone, Eiri hates him, he's grounded, what reason was there to live? Even his singing sucks. Without Hiro, there's no reason to continue Bad Luck. Might as well lose its singer too.  
  
"Yo, kid! You're in our way!"  
  
Shuichi's heart flinched in a slight scare. His mind was so lost in thought that the shouting surprised him. Looking up, his eyes met with a street kid at least two feet taller than him and well built for the homeless. Beside him was his whore, at least two feet shorter than Shuichi. If it were any other time, Shuichi would have broken into a fit of laughter if he saw the height difference between the two and cracked endless jokes, but he was more angry and depressed than in the mood to joke around. "What do you think we outta do to him? I could use a new toy."  
  
Shuichi's mind became foggy. Maybe this wasn't such a hot idea after all. Being raped before death would so not be cool.  
  
He waved both hands at them.  
  
"No, no, I'm not a good boy toy, you wouldn't get any fun out of me, really, so I'll just be going now..."  
  
He was halted getting no more than a foot away.  
  
"Hold it there big boy, you wandered into papa's territory, now you not leaving until you fulfill our needs, handsome."  
  
"Needs?" Shuichi squeaked out.  
  
The giant smirked.  
  
"You better believe it. Although my shorty here looks like he's more your height, so I'm going to let him go first. He may be short, but the way you'll be limping, you won't be thinking that way."  
  
Shuichi swallowed the lump in his throat.  
  
"Look, I-I really gotta head home, it's late and my mom will wonder. Well, not as much as my sister would, but—"  
  
"You shoulda thought about that before you trespassed, gorgeous. Bet you got a million guys after that ass of yours, huh?"  
  
Shuichi blushed.  
  
"Well...uh...no, actually."  
  
Both of them grew into a fit of laughter.  
  
"No?! Liar!"  
  
Shuichi's eyes bugged out of his head.  
  
"I'm not lying!"  
  
Both of them crept closer with an even deeper urge.  
  
"So you're a virgin?"  
  
Shuichi went redder than he ever had in his life.  
  
"Umm...yeah."  
  
The tall one nudged at the little one. Shuichi knew what was going to happen next and put in a one way ticket out of there. His mind was clouded. It didn't even register when he slid on the wet pavement and fell face first on the ground. The next thing he knew, he was pasted to the side of the brick wall and being felt up. The kicking breath of alcohol quickly filled his nostrils. The big guy ended up taking over. Shuichi nearly gagged as the tall one devoured his mouth and nibbled at his lips. Shuichi tried to forget about the live scene in front of him and pictured it was Eiri who was whispering wonderful nothings into his ear and spreading goodness all over his body with his wonderfully talented hands, giving him chills that would last a week.  
  
"You're already hard," the tall one purred. "My, my, do I turn you on that much, love?"  
  
Shuichi's eyes clenched shut as the kid's enormous hands grasped his member through his tan khakis and fondled it roughly.  
  
Suddenly, white spots clouded his eyes and screaming brought him back to his senses. He come to realize that he would soon have a puffy and very sore cheek in the morning if he lived that long.  
  
He was belted across the face three more times as punishment for closing his eyes.  
  
"I want to see myself in your eyes when I make passionate love to you," he demanded in a rough voice that made Shuichi's insides cringe. Unfortunately, his outside went with a cower and earned him another nice backhand.  
  
Shuichi whimpered, but kept his eyes open, looking at his two captives. The tall one took over his upper half, while the short one took care of his lower. Either way, he had never felt dirtier in his life.  
  
His eyes hurt so much from being kept open so long that they started burning, adding more tears to run down his red cheeks.  
  
"Yuki..." he whispered, gaining a salty taste in his mouth. Good thing it was too low for his captives to hear it. "Hiro...someone...help me..."  
  
Just then, his numb body was pushed to the wet ground and clothes were being torn off, thrown in various angles. Shuichi didn't dare fight it. He was too scared to even breathe. Normally he would just fight back and take off, but he had nothing to go back to. He even kicked himself mentally for even thinking of his "former" friend and his "former" lover, begging them for help. Not like they would miss him anyway. It would probably be best if he just rolled over and died. And that's precisely what he did.  
  
tbc 


	2. Comfort

Hiro walked slowly the same path in the park now for the fourth time, hands still shoved in his pockets carefully and eyes not being taken off the wet ground. He had been caught in the downpour earlier, but that was of no concern to him. A little rain never hurt anyone. Nothing could compare to the impairment his best friend had been putting him through and shattering his heart to pieces.  
  
Twice now tears threatened to brim his beautiful eyes, but furiously brushed them away each time. He was a guy; guys don't cry. Guys are heartless. Just like that bastard Eiri.  
  
"I hate him," Hiro whispered. "I've never hated or wished death upon anyone before, but I wish he would...oh why can't I say it?!" he yelled, kicking a helpless rock out of his path with full force. "I want him dead!"  
  
After that, his body betrayed him. Nakano Hiroshi was one with the pavement, hands thrown over his face and gushing rivers.  
  
"Dammit Shuichi! Have you forgotten everything important to you?! Why have you forgotten about me?!"  
  
Countless questions, even those of incoherence, rolled off his tongue. Anything that came to his mind, he would say. Mostly it was language of innumerable hurt.  
  
"H-Hiroshi-san?"  
  
Hiro tore his hands away from his face and met eye to eye with his current band partner.  
  
"Oh...Suguru!" In a wave of panic, he dried his eyes and tried to wipe out all the visible obvious facts that he had been showing his emotional side.  
  
Suguru knew exactly why Hiro was being this way. Not being blunt, he talked it out, prepared to hear the same thing he's been hearing about their band star.  
  
"You don't have to be shifty just because I showed up. What's wrong, Hiroshi-san? We're pals now, right?" he asked, kneeling.  
  
Hiro looked at him no further. "I'm sorry, I don't want to burden you with added information. I don't want to be like him."  
  
Slowly, he felt himself being pulled into a soft embrace.  
  
"Don't be tough around me, Hiroshi, I'll listen to you talk. Shindou-san has been my friend for a few short weeks, but I'm still concerned for him."  
  
Hiro held back his tears no longer. He had leaped out of his façade shell as fast as lightning and showed off his true feelings. Soon, Suguru's right shoulder was flooded. Suguru smiled small and ran his hand slowly up and down Hiro's back, keeping him at peace as much as he could. "I'm s-sorry Suguru, I'm not like this normally. Shuichi means a lot to me, I hate seeing him like this and it's breaking me up, making me someone I'm not!"  
  
Suguru felt the pain his friend was feeling. He hugged him closer, bodies becoming inseparable.  
  
"Go ahead Hiroshi, let it out. Let it all out. Sometimes it's good to."  
  
Hiro listened to Suguru's words like it came from a calm and soothing pacifist in a war of bomb droppings. No one has ever cared for him enough to suggest such information or even sit down with him long enough to listen to his problems. Sure he was popular at school with the women, but they were just after his looks, not what was inside. This was an incredibly new soothing sensation and he rejected none.  
  
He felt Suguru's hand running smoothly down the back of his head and his whispered words of reassurance. Suddenly, he pulled away, feeling slightly uncomfortable. He locked gazes with Suguru before his mind could register to brush away his streaked cheeks.  
  
"What's wrong Hiroshi-san?"  
  
Words couldn't explain it. He didn't know what was wrong. Was he about to talk to Suguru about the way he was making him feel or the way he made him felt.  
  
"Why...are you helping me?"  
  
Suguru smiled a smile that raised Hiro's body temperature and brought blood to the surface of his face, growing hot on the spot.  
  
"Hiroshi, you're my friend. It's my job to make sure you're at ease."  
  
"Call me Hiro...Why do you, like, you know...care...about me, of all people?"  
  
Suguru never lost his smile.  
  
"You're one of my best friends Hiro. You and Shuichi."  
  
For the first time in what seemed like a lifetime, a smile came upon Hiro's face that wasn't forced.  
  
"Thanks Suguru. Thanks for everything."  
  
"If you ever need anything Hiro-san, don't be afraid to ask. I'm more than a band partner, you know."  
  
He rose to his feet, helping Hiro up with him.  
  
"I know."  
  
"Well, I'm glad we could officially meet. We've always been so busy fighting and never had a chance."  
  
Hiro nodded once in acknowledgement, letting out a small and defeated chuckle. Before he knew it, he was right back to his old self. "I've grown close though with Shuichi, but it looks like that's all shot to hell now."  
  
Suguru lead the way out of there with Hiro at his side.  
  
Hiro let out a sigh, continuing, "I'd hate to think of someone like Shuichi falling victim to obsession. I knew he was in the market for a charming girl to get to know, but...I never thought he would choose one of the same sex! It's hard having to deal with it. I always thought Shuichi was the most perfect best friend anyone could ever have. We wrote music, we performed, we hung out every day after school, and now look at us. Sakano gave us a week to arrange a new music piece that Seguchi Tohma was nice enough to help us create and Shuichi won't have anything to do with it! It's like everything we've worked so hard for is being sucked down the tubes!"  
  
Suguru rubbed his back. "And how does this make you feel?" Hiro's eyes went wide. "How do you think that makes me feel?! I'm hurt, that's what! If Shuichi didn't want to be friends anymore, he should have at least hinted me on the fact!"  
  
"He wants to be your friend, Hiro. Believe it or not, he wants you more than anyone else right now. You've given him more comfort than Eiri Yuki could ever cook up. You just need to do with him what I did to you. You need to sit him down and talk things over with him and let his emotions come to the surface. He's keeping all of it inside, making things worse for him, and for yourself."  
  
Hiro hesitated for a short moment, then nodded briefly. "You're right. Doing what I did today probably wasn't the best approach. I yelled at him. I didn't mean to though! All the anger just built up inside me and I released the harsh words on him and went to the aftermath in tears when I thought I was alone." "You'll never be alone, Hiro. Shuichi will always love you. If he didn't have you at a time like this, he'd probably be dead."  
  
Hiro cringed at the words. Just the thought of Shuichi lying motionless on the ground with self inflicted wounds made his heart fall to pieces. He couldn't handle seeing the real thing. "Oh please don't say that Suguru," he said, mouth going dry.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I speak the truth. Him telling you about Eiri-san constantly keeps him alive. At least now he knows he could always come to you if he ever needed anything." Hiro stopped in his place. Suguru halted as well.  
  
"Hiro? What—"  
  
"I told him not to talk to me about Eiri Yuki any longer. I told him that we weren't friends anymore as long as he was like this. Oh Suguru, I wasn't thinking about him and suicide! I didn't know he needed me like that!" He threw his hands over his face. "Fuck!"  
  
Suguru slowly embraced him from behind.  
  
"Hiro, calm down."  
  
Hiro's angry side took over yet again and he yanked himself out of Suguru's fragile grasp.  
  
"Calm down?! I will not calm down! Do you have ANY idea that Shuichi could very well at this moment be dead because of my bluntness and stupidity?! He thought I didn't care! What if he never makes it home?! What if he feels the only way out is with the help of a gun at the temple or a leap off a cliff onto some jagged rocks?! How do you think I'm going to feel if this situation arises, huh?!"  
  
Suguru swallowed and tried to keep calm. "Then you need to find him, Hiro. Look for him and assure yourself it's not going to.  
  
Keep him close to you and solve his problems. Listen to what he has to say." Hiro felt his sixth sense coming on strongly for Shuichi, feeling something bad happened that made his blood curdle and his pulse quicken.  
  
"I will. Thanks for everything Suguru, see you around?"  
  
Suguru grinned and bowed his head.  
  
"Ja Hiro, good luck. Be well."  
  
Hiro pivoted and ran. He didn't know where he was going, but all he knew was he had to find Shuichi before Shuichi found the hard way out. Little did he know, his thoughts weren't far off. 


	3. The Search Begins

Hiro's feet pounded on the gravel as he ran as fast as he could to Shuichi's home. He had to have been home by now. It was nearly sundown.  
  
His head throbbed painfully and his eyes itched. Questions filled his head to the maximum.  
  
"Shuichi if you're not here, I swear I'm going to kill that bastard," he whispered amongst himself. "No second thoughts."  
  
He was tiring out very much so, but that didn't stop him. Shuichi was in trouble. He just knew it.  
  
_____________________  
  
Minutes later he was at the front door of the Shindou residence, pounding relentlessly with his fist and catching his breath at the same time, ignoring the faint pestering him from the constant sprinting. Dizziness swept through his head, but continued to pound.  
  
"Open up!" he shouted.  
  
He heard the lock being fumbled with behind the door. It opened to Shuichi's sister with the biggest frown ever plastered on her adorable face.  
  
"Hiro-san, wha—"  
  
"Maiko-chan, Shuichi...is he here?"  
  
Hiro prayed and begged mentally for her answer to be positive, but instead, she answered negatively with a straight face, as if she were clueless about the whole thing.  
  
This is what he was afraid of. Anger rose to the surface, heating his body temperature up straight away. He struggled hard to contain himself, but it wouldn't be as that.  
  
"Yes he is!" he shouted. "Where else would he be?!"  
  
He exchanged a heated glare with the clueless sibling.  
  
"He just told you to say he wasn't because he's mad at me!"  
  
Maiko stepped back, eyes widened and a frown placed at the same time.  
  
"Um...Hiro...could I be mistaken or did you two fight?"  
  
Hiro merely growled at her and barged into the house, one-track mind headed for Shuichi's room.  
  
"Hiro! What's going on?" Maiko called, following after him.  
  
Hiro stormed up the stairs and came to the firmly labeled walnut door "Shuichi's room; keep out" Hiro gripped the doorknob and thrust the door open, only to find it empty. By this time, Maiko caught up, shocked expression replacing most of the frown. She was about to repeat her previous question when she heard Hiro sniffling and sobbing quietly, staring at the floor. His shoulders bobbed up and down tenderly at first, but the further time progressed, the shakier his shoulders became. It soon evolved into a full-fledged sob and his hands were placed over his face to try and muffle the horrible sounds of a male crying.  
  
Maiko raised her eyebrows. Not only was this the first time she seen Hiro cry, she also had no idea why this situation arose!  
  
"Uh...wanna tell me what's going on? I can tell you where he is if you really wanna know."  
  
In the blink of an eye, she squeaked out as Hiro gripped the collar of her shirt, clenching it tightly.  
  
"Where?! Maiko, tell me! When did he leave here? When did you see him last? Was it this afternoon?"  
  
Maiko gripped his hands and loosened them free from her poor creased shirt.  
  
"Yes, it was this afternoon, he was getting ready to go somewhere. I thought it was with you though. He didn't look too happy, but it looked like he was crying."  
  
"Did he say exactly where he was going?"  
  
Maiko shook her head carefully, noting the intensity of his wide eyes.  
  
"He never does anymore. It's always a big secret, but I do know that he said he was going to your house to stay the night."  
  
My place! Maybe he's waiting for me! He does have a spare key!  
  
"Great, thank you Maiko!"  
  
Putting his best foot forward, he ran out as fast as he entered.  
  
By the time he got back to the outdoors, it was nightfall and just past seven. Hiro's head pounded. He had never in his life done so much worrying and crying all in one day. All of this over Yuki Eiri, that good for nothing. Tempted to run over to him and shout out the world of feelings in his face, he did regain at least some of his sanity and decided to wait until he found out more about the situation. Maybe he was just overreacting after all. It could be possible. Shuichi never took him seriously, so maybe he never did this afternoon when Hiro said his final farewells. Perhaps Shuichi was at his place, curled up in a fetal position on his comfortable couch with his favorite blue comforter that had the stain of cherry juicy juice he spilt when Hiro crept up behind him and shouted in his ear a few months back. Hiro still had a bruise from where he punched him because it scared Shuichi so much that his reflexes accidentally took over. Hiro disregarded it though, especially now.  
  
He only lived about ten minutes on foot away from Shuichi, making it convenient for Shuichi to sneak out of his house at night and run up to Hiro's when there was problems at his own residence. Lately though, if he wanted to sneak over, it was because Eiri was paying no attention to him. Hiro would be sleeping and all of a sudden be awoken to an extra body placing itself on the other side of the bed. Shuichi was facing away from him, but Hiro could hear the faint sobs clearly. He was beginning to wonder if that was all he was good for now, just an escape route. Even so, he would offer his suffering best friend a shoulder to cry on each time. Hiro thought he was being just a little too nice for the ware.  
  
That didn't change now on how worried he was. He flew non-stop back to his place. Tears threatened to block his view. His heart pounded in trepidation.  
  
Oh Shuichi please, please be there.  
  
_________________  
  
He saw no lights on inside, which was a bad start. Fumbling for his keys, he found the right one on the first try with luck and drove open the door, instantaneously yelling out for Shuichi. He flipped the living room light switch on and walked into a pigsty. The place wasn't that big, so his search was over in a matter of seconds, only to be struck with immediate guilt. Shuichi wasn't around and it was his entire fault. Jealousy had struck him and he dug up painful and rude demands to his only best friend in the entire world. It was a big switch being first, then suddenly worst.  
  
Oh Shuichi, if you're not home, and you're not at Eiri's, or here, where are you? 


	4. Search Proven Futile

Hiro walked into the bathroom and stood in front of the sink. From worrying so much, his hands trembled as he reached over to grasp the faucet handles and turn the water on. He took a brief glance at himself in the mirror. Under his eyes were deeply puffy and swollen and his eyes were strictly bloodshot. He never looked this way, not even when his parents rejected him and threw him out on the streets for choosing to stay with music and not go into medical like they wanted. They would constantly give him speeches about him ending up like his brother if he stayed with music and with such an untalented group. Hiro took that insult hard and bluntly threw words in their faces. Of course, the person his father suddenly changed into, Hiro was out on the streets before he could count to two. He was only let back inside for a short moment to collect his clothes and whatever else he could carry with just one trip in and out. The rest would just get thrown out. That was three months ago. He quickly adapted to it. His place was small and rundown, but it was just himself and Shuichi as well on many occasions. Hiro didn't need a big place, he just had the essential basics: bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, and living room. He was alone, what more could a single person ask for?  
  
His brother would come over every now and then to bug him for something, maybe even stay the night or two, then he'd go back and lead his boring life.  
  
"Wake up Hiroshi, get in gear here," he whispered to himself, then splashed cold water on his face. The water mixed in with the tears, bringing a salty taste to brim his lips.  
  
After doing his business, he exited the bathroom and into the hole he called a living room. With what little Hiro had to call his, it was everywhere. Between the parties he threw with Shuichi and his brothers' careless behavior, the place was anything but neat. He flopped down onto his couch and stared blankly at his guitar on the scratched up coffee table with days old soda cans resting on top of it. It was the only thing in halfway decent shape around there, besides his electronic entertainment items. He leaned over and brushed his fingers lightly across the instrument, only to realize he felt like doing anything else but playing. It reminded him too much of Shuichi and the way things used to be. It seemed like everything he looked at reminded him of Shuichi in the room in some way or another. Sighing, he laid down, resting his head on the arm of the couch. He had hoped that maybe, just maybe, Shuichi would discover he had no place to go tonight and would come to him.  
  
_______________________  
  
After many minutes of mindless staring, Hiro finally realized he wasn't getting to sleep that night. He spent some hours playing Grand Theft Auto III and Vice City, feeling somewhat at ease running over pedestrians, shooting people, and picking up hookers.  
  
Finally, a long while later, his eyelids got heavy during his forty something match of the difficult stage in Soul Calibur II and decided to shut the games off after he was losing every battle and would prepare to fall asleep with whatever hours of the night that were left. Checking the wall clock, it was just past two and no sign of Shuichi.  
  
"Either he hates me, or he's in trouble," Hiro concluded aloud mumbling tiredly, walking to his room and rubbing his eyes. "I hope he's okay..."  
  
He fell stomach first onto his obliterated bed and fell fast asleep in only a matter of seconds, dreaming about what he couldn't be to his best friend. 


	5. A Day Unlike Any Other

Sakano rushed into the studio, sweat drops sliding down his face.  
  
"Where the hell is Shuichi?! It's been two days!"  
  
Hiro and Suguru were talking amongst themselves but stopped after being interrupted. After seeing a pained expression on Hiro's face, Suguru immediately stood and walked over to Sakano, pushing him back out into the hallway.  
  
"What gives?! Where the hell is that kid?! Doesn't he realize that he's hurting the band?! More important, me! Seguchi-san will trash me if he finds out!"  
  
Suguru shut the door to the room Hiro was in and eyed Sakano harshly.  
  
"Stop saying it so loud! Hiro's already in enough pain with this situation as is!" Suguru cruelly whispered. "Two days now he had to live with this being half his fault! He doesn't need you to waltz in creating a scene!"  
  
"What's going on here?"  
  
Sakano's sweat drops grew into rivers down his face as Tohma Seguchi approached them with a grin on his face, as he usually did, disregarding any types of situations. Sakano groveled at Tohma instantly, dropping to his knees and pulling on the end of his boss's shirt, wrinkling it in his clenched fist.  
  
"B-Boss, please, don't fire me! I'm doing everything I possibly can to find Shindou-san! I know that the Battle of the Bands competition is in a few days, but he'll be back, I'm sure of it! He'll do anything to rip ASK apart!"  
  
The blonde didn't lose his grin. He waved his fingers through his short hair, and then pulled Sakano up to his feet.  
  
"Don't worry, I'm not blaming anyone. We could always create a replacement for Shindou if it comes down to that."  
  
Suguru's eyes nearly popped out of his head.  
  
"S-Seguchi-san, you can't mean that! Shuichi's going through a difficult time right now! He'll be back!"  
  
Tohma's eyes shifted onto the young teen.  
  
"Suguru, surely you don't have to be so formal with me. We're the same flesh and blood after all."  
  
Suguru nodded.  
  
"But anyway, I'm sure he is with that relationship of his he's got going on. Anyone would know that Eiri is one of the hardest people in the world to get along with." He sighed. "That poor boy just had to find out the hard way."  
  
"Yeah, and now he's missing. I'm afraid that if we don't find him soon, Hiro's not going to be far behind."  
  
Sakano ran in circles around Tohma and Suguru when he had heard of this.  
  
"My life is ruined! Damn Shindou-kun for ruining me! Everything was going great too! Why does he have to be so—"  
  
"Sakano-san!" Tohma verbalized in one of his stricter tones.  
  
Sakano froze where he stood, eyes wide and still in his running position.  
  
"S-sorry, boss," he said, followed by a whimper and a gulp.  
  
The two resumed their conversation while Sakano hid in the corner, sobbing.  
  
"Well then," Tohma continued with a sigh, "you were saying?"  
  
Suguru looked behind his shoulder to see that the door was still shut in the room that Hiro occupied.  
  
"Hiro told me that he yelled at Shuichi for being the way he is," Suguru started, soft-spoken. "With Eiri-san and all, and now he's saying it's his fault he's missing. If things keep going the way they are now and Shuichi doesn't show up, Hiro's not going to have the interest to continue, I just know it."  
  
Tohma let out a short exhale.  
  
"Thanks for talking to me Suguru. At least now I know a little something on what's going on."  
  
Suguru nodded briefly.  
  
"Tohma-san, I know you're close to Eiri-san. I know this is a lot to ask for, but could you just talk to him...for the band's sake. For Shuichi and Hiro's sake."  
  
Tohma's eyes sealed onto the young teen for a long while before speaking.  
  
"Suguru, I don't believe it is Eiri-san that needs to be spoken to. From what you told me, this is Shuichi's doing."  
  
Suguru paused, then nodded quickly.  
  
"You're right Tohma-san. So I guess there's nothing else to do but wait and see how things go."  
  
Tohma smiled at his cousin, patting him on the shoulder as he walked past him and entered the room Hiro sat at. It was a bit of a shock to him to find Hiro with his head down on the table and in his hands, sobbing. It wasn't embarrassing loud, just something to show off how bad he felt.  
  
"Hiroshi-san."  
  
Hiro flinched and wiped his eyes immediately.  
  
"Oh...Seguchi-san! S-sorry, I didn't hear you come in."  
  
Tohma chuckled warmly.  
  
"Don't worry about it, Hiroshi. I'm sure you have a good enough reason for this kind of behavior."  
  
___________________  
  
Hiro spent the rest of the afternoon speaking with Tohma on the situation. Shuichi was gone for two days straight now. Even his parents were noticing his absence and threatened to call the cops if he didn't return soon. They even called up Hiro's house and yelled at him in his voice mail for five minutes directly, saying how he shouldn't keep him over there without them knowing. Maiko was no help in that situation. Even though she knew for a fact that her brother wasn't at Hiro's. She was doing her part in searching for him, only to come back empty-handed. At the end of their conversation, Tohma agreed to keep their entry in the contest still valid, sending a huge wave of relief to Sakano and the others. Hiro spent a good few more hours in the studio thinking maybe, just maybe, Shuichi would come there and not blow this opportunity.  
  
It was quickly approaching sundown and Suguru patted Hiro on the shoulder comfortingly.  
  
"I think it's time to leave," he said in a soft voice. Hiro nodded slowly in response, standing.  
  
"Hiro, if you don't want to be alone tonight, you can stay with me at my house."  
  
Hiro swallowed and shook his head.  
  
"No thanks. I have high hopes that Shuichi will come looking for me at home."  
  
Suguru slipped him a hug, wishing him luck. 


	6. Trapped

Hiro shoved his hands in his pockets and started the slow walk home. He could have taken his motorcycle, but didn't trust himself on it.  
  
It's been two days now since Shuichi was last seen. Where was he? What was he doing? Every question imaginable flew through Hiro's head. Once again, he blamed himself.  
  
"Woo! Hey there, stuck-in-the-mud!"  
  
With a raised eyebrow, Hiro looked over at a car that slowed down in the middle of the road with the window rolled down and a head popping from the driver's side and the backseat. Hiro right away recognized them as the ASK band.  
  
"Found out what happened to your boy Shuichi! Damn, that's one horrible way to die!"  
  
Hiro abruptly went weak at the knees, but didn't falter. He continued walking as if he didn't hear anything from them. They were huge jerks to Bad Luck anyway and would say anything to bring them down.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" Hiro inquired, trying to pay as little interest as possible and kept his eyes on the sidewalk ahead of him. He didn't want to have anything to do with them after what horrible things they have done to Shuichi in the past because of overdone jealousy.  
  
"What? You didn't know? And you call yourself a friend!"  
  
A roll of laughter came from the three.  
  
"I love seeing you moping over him like this, it's so great. Now we just have to see what his BOYFRIEND will say about it. I don't think he'll mind. One less nuisance he has to deal with."  
  
"Get lost," Hiro muttered, trying to get the cursed voice out of his head.  
  
"Think about it, it's been DAYS now, right? Wouldn't he had been by to sleep at your...apartment, if that's what you call it, and we all know he's been doing more than playing a round of video games!"  
  
Hiro glared at him and the rest of the giggling team.  
  
"If you guys don't mind, I want to be alone right now. Continue your honorable trip onwards."  
  
Aizawa glared at him, pulling down his black sunglasses.  
  
"Watch your attitude Nakano, I DO have the power to run you over," he growled.  
  
Hiro scoffed.  
  
"As far as Shuichi's concerned, you'll find his corpse in an alley with bugs, mice, and whatever eating up the remains after I paid some dudes a handsome sum to keep you guys out of the competition."  
  
Hiro's fists clenched against his will. Sometimes those guys would get on his last nerve that he would just love to punch them into next year.  
  
"Oh look boys, he's shaking. We'll be back to collect the reward from you later Nakano for the information given. Sweet dreams!"  
  
With a roar of laughter, Aizawa screeched the tires and sped off and became out of sight within a matter of seconds. Hiro couldn't help but be disturbed with his words. Just the thought of seeing Shuichi unmoving and stiff as a board with critters eating him to the bone sent chills up and down his spine. But it wasn't true, so there was nothing to worry about...right?  
  
As much as he tried to rid Aizawa's cursed words free from his mind, they kept coming back. He pictured the glare on Aizawa's face and the laughter in his voice with every word he said.  
  
Then, out of the blue, came an argument that he and Shuichi had just last week. They were at his place, and, like usual, Shuichi was moping over how Eiri was treating him.  
  
*****************  
  
"You're going to be real sorry if you never see me again one of these days, Hiro!" Shuichi yelled, throwing a fit while Hiro sat hunched over on the couch with his hand over his face and his eyes closed.  
  
"Shuichi just shut up, please! I can't stand your voice anymore!"  
  
They exchanged hard glances again.  
  
"I can't believe you Hiroshi! You're supposed to be my friend! Why are you being like this?!"  
  
Hiro stood up and towered over his friend.  
  
"Because every other word out of your mouth is about Yuki! I'm SICK of it!"  
  
Shuichi scrunched his face up with hate and pivoted away from him  
  
"Fine! One of these days no one's ever going to see me again and it'll be all your fault!"  
  
He lunged himself out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him  
  
******************  
  
Of course, he came back and they became friends again, but he didn't come back this time. Hiro wouldn't think twice of blaming himself if something did happen to Shuichi. He would blame himself and Eiri. Eiri wouldn't live to see another day if something happened to his Shuichi.  
  
Aizawa's words still wouldn't leave his head, no matter how much he tried ridding them. Finally, taking his words to heart, he couldn't help but think it was positive. It's better to be safe than sorry. Those guys were jerks, but hardly did they lie, even to him.  
  
"Shuichi...where have you gone? Are you hurt? Is Aizawa right?"  
  
Hiro turned and ran in the opposite direction.  
  
_____________________  
  
There was only one major alley in the district and he had a hunch that was the one. Even if those jerks weren't telling the truth, at least he could calm himself knowing it wasn't true. Who knows, at any second, they could just jump out and brag on how much they scammed him.  
  
By the time he got there, it was just about nightfall, but lights came on and lit up the place as if it were daylight. He looked in all directions, even behind him. He was well aware of what kinds of thugs polluted the alleys at nighttime.  
  
Shakily, he walked onwards, keeping strictly alert. It was quiet...perhaps too quiet. He could hear himself breathing and stepping along the pavement. Then, his walking turned into a brisk jog. Nothing was visible, not even another human being.  
  
Hiro hit himself mentally for listening to those guys when he came to the dead end of the alley. There was nothing here.  
  
"Hey, looky here, another trespasser. We've been waiting for you...Hiroshi."  
  
Hiro turned around speedily at the voice behind him. Little did Hiro know, there stood the same exact two men that had a ball with Shuichi a few nights ago.  
  
"Waiting for me?..." 


	7. Nittle Grasper Defeated

Grasper's note: Ryuichi is crazily OOC from here on in. He's actually serious! ^^  
  
"Eiri, it's been a while."  
  
Yuki Eiri stepped to the side unwillingly to allow Tohma Seguchi into his humble abode. A tiny smile pinched at Tohma's cheeks as he looked around.  
  
"You've been cleaning. No doubt Shindou-san left this place a mess after he left."  
  
"What do you want?" Eiri asked harshly, effortlessly pulling out a fresh pack of cigarettes and opened them. Tohma smiled warmly as he saw this.  
  
"You shouldn't smoke so much Eiri-san, it's bad for you."  
  
Eiri raised an eyebrow at him with a small frown, placing the head of the stick in his mouth.  
  
"Did you come out here to tell me what I should and shouldn't do, or do you actually have a purpose?"  
  
Tohma didn't let Eiri's attitude bother him. He had known exactly why he still behaved this way, so no questions were asked.  
  
"Actually, it's about Shindou-san."  
  
Eiri scoffed, brushing past him, sticking his hands inside his pockets.  
  
"I have no use for him. He's worthless."  
  
Tohma followed after him slowly.  
  
"Maybe so, but he's been missing for a few days now. I was just wondering if he hinted to where he was going."  
  
Eiri flopped down on his couch, leaned his head back and closing his eyes.  
  
"Who cares, at least it's not here."  
  
"It's very important that we find him, Eiri-san."  
  
Their eyes met. A small pause occurred between them.  
  
"Then what are you doing here instead of looking for him?"  
  
Tohma sighed and lowered his head.  
  
"Oh Eiri, even after all these years, you're still withdrawn from the world. I think it's disturbing that the only way you communicate is in writing." He looked up at the relaxed Eiri. "You've rejected your fiancé and abandoned your family. Don't you want someone in your life, Eiri? Don't you ever feel the need to be wanted...loved?"  
  
Eiri flicked the ashes of the lighted cigarette into the ashtray before him, wishing Tohma would disappear from his vision.  
  
"Somehow I get the feeling this isn't about being loved. You have a different reason for coming here, not to rub my past faults and failures back into my face. I know I screwed up, okay? I've murdered my own teacher in cold blood and that baka made me remember it all with his energy and giddiness!" Slamming his clenched fists onto the coffee table in front of him, he sucked back an unexpected sob. "Dammit Tohma Seguchi, my life is none of your business, and as far as the brat is concerned, I don't want shit to do with him!"  
  
Eiri rose angrily and got only inches away from Tohma's face.  
  
"Is it because you married my sister you have the right to butt into my life and affairs?"  
  
Tohma gripped the sides of Eiri's arm with his gentle grip.  
  
"Calm down Eiri. I'm not here to stroke in anything or push into lives. It started out with Shindou-san, but since you already answered that question—"  
  
"Leave," he interrupted. "I don't need anyone's pity."  
  
He passed Tohma a cold glare before walking slowly in the opposite direction and down his hallway.  
  
Tohma hated it when he couldn't communicate with Eiri.  
  
"What are you so afraid of?" he asked after him. "What's so important in your life that you have to hide from us?"  
  
Eiri stopped walking, but only for a second.  
  
"I have nothing more to discuss with you. Go away."  
  
Tohma bit his lower lip as Eiri descended into his room and shut the door behind him.  
  
___________________  
  
It was dark by the time Tohma reached the studio for a late night performance. Nittle Grasper wanted to participate in the Battle of the Bands as well. It took a long while to find Noriko after the break up. They all knew she ran her own studio, but didn't know where. Luckily though, she didn't lose her touch with her strict keyboarding skills, even after she stopped playing and had her child.  
  
Tohma was greeted by Ryuichi harshly the second he walked into the studio on the second floor.  
  
"Did you get it?! What did he say?!" Ryuichi pounded as Tohma threw his coat over the back of the chair, then had to suffer through a pink bunny rabbit being shoved in his face. Unfortunately, Tohma wasn't in the mood to experience Ryuichi's perkiness.  
  
"Sakuma-san!" Tohma blurted loudly, ripping the helpless Kumagoro from his hands and throwing it to the ground.  
  
"Tohma-san?" Noriko questioned, moving closer.  
  
Tohma flopped down in the chair, confused and concerned. He threw his hand over his face with a large sigh.  
  
"I take it things didn't go well," Ryuichi said, not reclaiming his Kumagoro. "Didn't you EXPLAIN to him that we need it?"  
  
Tohma glared his way.  
  
"Ryuichi, I was a little TOO busy asking about Shuichi to bombard him with a favor to write lyrics!"  
  
Ryuichi stomped his foot, then kicked a chair closest to him.  
  
"We're going to lose this competition! We have nothing to sing!"  
  
Tohma was heated.  
  
"Why do you care about Shuichi anyway? You're main objective was to go there and ask him if he could write a song, not to check up on our opponent!"  
  
Tohma glowered in on him.  
  
"If you're so concerned, go ask him yourself! I didn't come back here to be mauled, I came back notify you!"  
  
To Ryuichi, these lyrics were his everything. It was the only thing that kept them in the contest at this point. Neither of them were very good at making songs. If they did make one, it would take a long while and a long while wasn't an option right at this instant. They needed it NOW. Ryuichi clenched his fists. As much as he liked Shuichi, he wanted to beat him and claim their world victory back from them.  
  
"Well forget it because without those lyrics, we have nothing to practice! I guess that's it then, we're done here. I'll go back to Los Angeles."  
  
"Did you expect him to whip out something then and there?!" Tohma's voice raised back, looking dead into his band member's eyes. "It would take time!"  
  
Noriko flinched at their arguing. The last time they argued was about three years ago before the break up and that wasn't even near this bad. She had never seen either of them so heated before.  
  
"Okay, guys...it's really alright."  
  
Fortunately for her, they didn't hear a word she said. Ryuichi was too busy yelling incoherently anything he could cook up, but mostly screaming and totally not acting himself. No one knew just how important this competition meant to him until now. Tohma just yelled at him to stop, helpless to do anything else.  
  
Everyone's favorite Ryu-chan's turned into a monster right before their very eyes.  
  
"Nittle Grasper's reputation is finished! Seguchi Tohma, as of this moment, I never want to see you again! You were never an important member of Grasper and we can do just fine without you!"  
  
Noriko's mouth dropped before Tohma even had an idea of what was just shot out of his friend's mouth.  
  
"Ryu—"  
  
"I stand by my decision!"  
  
With that, he snatched his Kumagoro and slammed the door on the way out. All Tohma could do was cringe at the slamming of the door. His shoulders slumped where he stood.  
  
"I've failed again, haven't I?"  
  
Noriko stood beside him and rubbed his back comfortingly.  
  
"Don't say that. He's just angry. Don't worry. It's in his nature to be loud and obnoxious. It's just a phase."  
  
Tohma chuckled dejectedly.  
  
"What does it matter? We don't have what it takes to perform in this competition anyway. See how hard it was to get us together in the first place for this? It was pointless."  
  
He grabbed his jacket and threw it on slowly over his shoulders, not losing his weak smile.  
  
"Sorry Noriko-chan. I didn't mean to tear you away from your family so fast, only to find this was all a mistake. I can't make anyone happy. I can't even make Mika-chan happy."  
  
Noriko looked up quickly.  
  
"What are you talking about? Tohma, everyone loves you! You can't please one and all, the world doesn't work that way, but you are a wonderful person. Don't let Ryuichi get to you."  
  
Tohma walked out of there in a slump, not saying anything more.  
  
"But he has gotten to me," he whispered. "I never knew what a complete failure I was until now. I've treated everyone almost as bad as K, except I didn't point a gun in their faces, I just ruled with an iron fist. Eiri can't stand the sight of me. The only one who I think still admired me was Shuichi. The first time he met me I could see the gleam in his eye...but where is he now? Even if I could talk to him one last time, he probably can't stand me either." He sighed. "I must have more enemies out there than I do friends..."  
  
_______________________  
  
"That was cold Ryuichi!" Noriko scolded as she found her friend sitting in a corner of a room with his knees brought up to his chest and his bunny sitting on top, hiding his face. "Seguchi-san tries his hardest! You're awfully good at writing lyrics, you've done it plenty of times before, so why make it seem like he's the one to blame for all of it?"  
  
Noriko got no response. She twisted her face with disgust.  
  
"What the hell's gotten into you lately anyway, Ryuichi? Ever since our band's gotten back together, you've been so moody! It's not because of the lyrics, you've been bitchy all week!"  
  
Ryuichi let out an angry yell and delivered his fist into the wall.  
  
"Okay! You want to know the reason?!" he shouted, standing up and marching straight over to Noriko in a flash. "I miss Shuichi, okay?! He's gone missing and I can't help but think he's hurt or even dead. Forgive me if I'm a little compassionate, unlike everyone else."  
  
Noriko's face loosened up.  
  
"But...I thought you wanted him gone."  
  
Ryuichi growled.  
  
"Not GONE, just out of the competition. I was growing fond of him, even started to like him," he said in a small voice, turning around. "I didn't mean to yell at Tohma-san. With Shuichi's absence going on, I can't even write a simple lyric, never mind something good for the competition. Even if I could, Tohma's gone. He's not coming back. I saw it in his eyes. What's done is done."  
  
Noriko hugged him from behind.  
  
"It's okay Ryuichi. Tohma will forgive you. We're friends to the end, remember? No matter what happens."  
  
"Whatever," he murmured, clenching Kumagoro. "I'm outta here."  
  
_______________________  
  
"Friends to the end," Tohma whispered out into the night air as he stood at the side of the bridge in the park, remembering how they always used to say that. "I always used to wonder it. I try to be calm, I try to be understanding, I try to be caring, but it just doesn't work," he whispered helplessly.  
  
Tears brimmed his eyes.  
  
"I can't even keep my own wife pleased with me! I may have had a great past, but I've just about had it trying to cope with the present. My stress level's too high and my emotions are breaking me up. Even my smile these days is a fake. Everyone relies on me, only to have their dreams and hopes broken. Shuichi's gone, Eiri's hopeless to try and change..." He looked over the side of the bridge and noted the long way down with the tears burning in his eyes.  
  
"Knowing I could end it all in just a matter of seconds...is a wonderful sensation..."  
  
"Isn't it?"  
  
Tohma gasped and spun around. No more than just a few feet a gun was being held to him. A mix of emotions flew though his mind and body.  
  
"T-Tachi...!"  
  
Tachi smirked and chuckled venomously.  
  
"I never did forgive you for pushing me in front of that car. You got me distracted with fear. Luckily though I found a better way to get back at you. Note the silencer on the gun so I could just shoot you here and now and get away with it."  
  
"You wouldn't," Tohma gasped.  
  
"Oh wouldn't I? You tried to kill me, isn't it only fair I return the favor? Perhaps though, you were a little too careless when you tried to rid the world of my face. You should have done it a little later, and then the car would have hit me. Because you didn't, you just have to suffer what fate I would have had. Isn't it the reasonable thing to do?"  
  
Losing all feeling in his legs, Tohma backed up towards the rail and had to grip it to keep himself from falling over. He could feel himself drawing backwards and let out a tiny whimper associated with a plea. Another couple inches or so and he would be hanging off the edge.  
  
His heart beat productively in his chest as he could no longer prevent his panting.  
  
Tachi crept closer, victory in his grasp.  
  
"Tohma, Tohma, Tohma, what would your wife think of you now? Strong and powerful Tohma Seguchi savagely murdered and he did nothing to defend himself."  
  
"Bastard..." Tohma breathed, struggling to regain feeling.  
  
Tachi tensed up as he slapped Tohma viciously across the face with the side of the gun, extracting a loud yelp from Tohma. He never bothered to cover up the already forming bruise.  
  
"Don't you ever talk back to me! I'm not the bastard here!" he yelled, pressing the gun tip to Tohma's chin, lifting his head back to get better exposure.  
  
"Just do it already," Tohma whispered vulnerably. "Do what you please. I've lost all of importance to me anyway. If you don't kill me, I'll do it myself."  
  
Tachi let out a growl. He hated Tohma and everything about him. He wouldn't kill anyone if he could avoid it, but overpowering rage lingered in his heart for him especially.  
  
"Your wish is my command...Tohma Seguchi..."  
  
"Will you just hurry up and do it already?" an extra, familiar voice said, walking out of the shadows and onto the scene.  
  
"Don't rush me!" Tachi growled.  
  
"Just let me do it then if you're so nervous. I supplied the gun for Christ sake."  
  
Tohma recognized the face and the alcoholic slurred voice of the accomplice all too well and let out a shocked cry of betrayal. Before he could say anything, or even utter a few short words, he pummeled to the gravel below. 


	8. Dead or Alive?

"What do you want?" Hiro asked with a hint of a growl in his voice, ignoring the past comment by the giant street kid.  
  
The two laughed.  
  
"You've got spunk kid, just like that other tiny tot that came by here that we were told to get rid of."  
  
Hiro's heart jumped up in his throat.  
  
"We aren't supposed to say who sent us the treat, but—"  
  
"It was Aizawa Tachi, I'm not an idiot, where the hell is Shuichi?!" Hiro shouted, half worried and half angry.  
  
The giant grinned. "They told us you would be by sooner or later... Nakano Hiroshi, and if that happened..."  
  
The taller one flipped up the blade on a large pocketknife.  
  
Hiro growled, feeling no fear.  
  
"You're not going anywhere. We have orders and I'd just hate to let my boys down."  
  
They stepped forward and Hiro stepped involuntarily backwards.  
  
"Oh look, he's scared."  
  
"Just tell me where Shuichi is!" Hiro demanded.  
  
The friends looked at one another and shrugged. The shorter one looked back to Hiro first.  
  
"I dunno. We lost track of him about three days ago. Probably stagnating in the gutter somewhere!"  
  
A roll of laughter filled the night air as they threw a fit. Outraged, Hiro let out a terrifying ear piercing scream before delivering his fist into the taller giant's jaw, then sweep kicking him to the ground. Fortunately in the laws of gravity, the bigger the person, the harder they fall. That got him out of the way the second his head slammed into the cement. It didn't take Hiro long to deal with the shorter one. One kick and it sent the little dude back first into the wall, passed out as well.  
  
Hiro panted. Normally this wouldn't have worked so easily, but he was over irritated.  
  
"Shuichi!" he cried out into the night air the moment he realized he was now alone. He couldn't think of his very best friend in the world being slaughtered by these two. "Shuichi, it's Hiro! Answer me! I'm sorry Shuichi!"  
  
Running back the opposite way, he wouldn't give up until he found him.  
  
Sweat piled up onto his forehead and his pulse quickened.  
  
He was about to blame himself again for this incident when his eyes landed on a lifeless body curled up in a fetal position in front of a trashcan. Hiro ran so fast that he nearly fell face first into the gravel. He threw himself down on the ground and immediately took the body into his arms. With luck, it was Shuichi. The pink hair gave it away. His face was scratched and dirt wasted no time in filling the wounds. His clothes were torn and ripped, especially his pants, revealing him.  
  
Hiro sobbed straight away, holding Shuichi close to him.  
  
"Why?" he whispered, warm tears flowing from his eyes. "This can't be happening! Shuichi I'm so sorry. Don't leave me! I'm here now, everything's going to be okay."  
  
_____________________  
  
He took Shuichi straight to the nearest hospital, demanding quickly for help. After they took him in, Hiro was demanded to sit in the waiting room until they knew of Shuichi's status. Hiro flopped down in the chair with his hand covering his face. He felt horrible. To think that it was all Aizawa's fault. Aizawa came straight out and admitted it.  
  
"He made it sound like a joke," Hiro whispered to himself. "He hired two homeless kids to rape and kill Shuichi. Damn you!"  
  
Unable to contain himself any longer, he released a shuddering breath, and immediately sucked it back in a sob. He tried uselessly to swallow it as the tears rolled out over his wet lashes, trailing down his face in the darkness. His body shook with the force of his sobs, and he felt as though he might die as his chest constricted painfully. His best friend...energetic, giddy, loveable Shuichi...was at the face of death.  
  
Swallowing the knot in his throat painfully, he stood up with the desperate attempt to quench his brutal thirst and cure the butterflies attacking his stomach from the inside.  
  
He found a soda vending machine not too far away and grabbed a can of Pepsi. Popping the top, he greedily lifted it to his lips and downed its contents in seconds.  
  
Feeling refreshed after the drink was the last thing he experienced. The butterflies were twice as fast, forcing him to pause and drop the soda can, then whimper and clutch his stomach, faltering a great deal.  
  
He grew a funny taste in the back of his throat and tried swallowing to get rid of it.  
  
"Calm down Hiro..." he whispered to himself, taking a few minor breaths of air.  
  
His words wouldn't listen to him and before there were any hopes of him calming down, his stomach gave an agonizing lurch, nearly forcing him to topple over, but wouldn't give in.  
  
His brain was replaying a scene over and over again of what he saw happen to Shuichi that night. The images of the attackers were fresh in his memory. They were laughing. They were laughing as they grew closer to Shuichi, closing him in and tearing off his clothes even before he had a chance to reject.  
  
He heard Shuichi cry out for help, causing the taste in the back of his throat to become stronger and more threatening. He flew into the restroom, only to vomit up the soda and whatever else that was still in his system from the last time he ate.  
  
Dizziness caused him to fall to his knees over the toilet.  
  
"Oh god...what did he do to deserve this? Do you really take pleasure in watching me suffer through this?!" he cried out, then stood up in fury, kicking anything in his range with an infuriated yell of frustration. He pounded his fists into the wall, tears flying from his eyes.  
  
"Just kill me now! Quick and painful or slow and even more painful, I don't care! I just...I just can't deal with this anymore!"  
  
He slid down the wall with his back and buried his face in his knees he brought up to his chest.  
  
______________________  
  
Hiro had never felt more hate in his heart as he did now. It was all because of Eiri. This whole thing was his fault. That mixed in with fear and worry drove him out of the hospital with a one-track mind to finish Eiri off for being the asshole he was. He jumped onto his motorcycle and sped off in hot pursuit for Eiri's house.  
  
He arrived there in record time. He hopped off his motorcycle and left it running. This shouldn't take too long.  
  
He jogged over and pounded on Eiri's door with a tightly clenched fist, the fist he was preparing to deliver straight into the face of the romance novelist.  
  
Right when the door opened, Hiro didn't think twice and popped Eiri straight into the jaw at lightning speed, knocking the cigarette free from his mouth as he stumbled backwards. Hiro felt pleasure as he delivered a few more to his face. Eiri quickly learned the boy's pattern and caught both his fists effortlessly.  
  
Hiro panted.  
  
"What's your problem?" Eiri growled, ignoring the blood trail that trickled down from his split lip.  
  
"You're my problem!" Hiro yelled, struggling to release himself from Eiri's iron grip. "Do you have any idea where Shuichi is?! I'll tell you exactly where he is! Dying in the nearest hospital, that's where! He's been so good to you and you continue to treat him with such disgust!" He stopped struggling and narrowed his eyes at his greatest enemy.  
  
"I've never liked you to begin with, even as an author. Shuichi bends over backwards for you and what do you give to him?! Oh big deal, a place to crash for a week!"  
  
"You're wasting my time," Eiri said, pushing Hiro back and reaching in his pockets for another cigarette since the first one was so rudely dropped from his mouth. "I never wanted him to come here in the first place. It's not my fault that something happened to him. I'm just living my normal boring life, trying to make deadlines, and here he comes, just invading my space. Do tell me, dear Hiroshi, is it really my fault that something happened to him?"  
  
Hiro just growled. Eiri smirked.  
  
"That's what I thought."  
  
"It still is!" he yelled after him.  
  
Eiri chuckled and walked off in the opposite direction.  
  
"I have nothing more to discuss with you. Be gone."  
  
____________________  
  
Hiro was gnashing at his teeth until he made it back to the hospital. The time he arrived, his attitude was now back to the way it was before...sick to his stomach. It was positively pointless to go to Eiri's and pin the blame entirely on him, but if he weren't such a dick, this would have never happened to Shuichi.  
  
It was a good two painful hours before he was told of any news. Straight when he was graced with Shuichi's nurse's presence, he stood, eyeing her desperately, pulse quickening. This was it: the part where he found out if he himself was going to remain living. After making a pact with himself, if Shuichi was no longer here, he had no reason to have the gift of life either.  
  
"Nakano-san?" the young woman questioned.  
  
"Hai...how is he?"  
  
Hiro couldn't tell anything by her facial expressions. They were paid to give off a straight face.  
  
He was strictly worried when she paused before giving him the information. His body lost all form of feeling, turning his limbs to jelly, forcing him to collapse into the chair.  
  
"H-He's dead...isn't he?" Hiro inquired in a voice no more than a whisper. 


	9. The Devil in You

Eiri paused briefly and seized his typing on his laptop, staring at the screen. Hiro's words wouldn't leave his head. No wonder it's been so quiet around here the past few days.  
  
Standing, he walked over to fetch his mug and fill it with a freshly made cup of coffee. This morning it felt so great to be able to sleep until two in the afternoon without that pink-headed nuisance barging into his room and pouncing on top of him, pulling the blankets off the bed. But after Eiri shouted at him t hat he wasn't getting up yet, Shuichi laid beside him and would be just inches away from his face, staring at his closed eyes with a smile. Of course, Eiri would sense eyes watching him and jerked them open immediately.  
  
"What?" he asked coldly.  
  
"I made lunch," Shuichi said sweetly.  
  
Eiri turned over and faced the opposite direction, putting his pillow over his head.  
  
"Go away," his voice muffled.  
  
It felt so great knowing he wasn't there, but now Eiri wasn't so sure. From what Hiro had said, he was in the hospital, but why?  
  
Eh...who cares? I've got more important things to do, he thought and broke out of his daydream, sitting back at his laptop.  
  
_____________________  
  
"Nakano-san...he's requested to see you."  
  
Hiro's eyes went wide. "What?!"  
  
"But before you go in there, there's his conditions I wish to speak to you about."  
  
Hiro nodded briefly. The nurse sat in the chair beside him.  
  
"I already know what happened to him," Hiro whispered, looking away.  
  
"Do you?" she asked in an equally toned voice.  
  
"He was raped...three nights ago."  
  
Hiro closed his eyes, trying to rid the images of his best friend giving in to something he didn't want, all because he was a jerk-off that didn't listen to he had to say when he needed him most.  
  
"Yes...that's true...but I'm afraid you don't know the rest of it."  
  
Hiro looked to her with wide eyes. "There's more?"  
  
She heaved a heavy sigh. "Nakano-san, do you know how many men were involved in this?"  
  
Hiro was most alert. "Two. Was there more?" he asked with extreme curiosity.  
  
She shook her head. "There wasn't, but one of the two, I don't know what one, maybe both, but they were infected."  
  
If there was any relief flowing over in Hiro's direction, it was gone now. He reverted back to his sickly feeling and dizziness.  
  
"Oh god," he groaned. "I think I'm going to be sick again."  
  
The nurse rubbed his back softly, trying to wash away his nausea.  
  
Hiro threw his hands over his face.  
  
"Why?" he whispered helplessly. "Why Shuichi?!"  
  
"Nakano-san, please listen to what I have to say—"  
  
Hiro stood up quickly, mouth growing salty. The sensation in his stomach still lingered, but the wanting to see Shuichi overpowered feeling ill.  
  
"What does he have?" he asked.  
  
"We don't know yet. We've noticed the beginning of a rapid change in the bloodstream. By the way the cells are so quickly changing...it's no doubt HIV or possibly AIDS."  
  
Hiro lost all feeling in his body and fell into the wall, not blinking and oblivious to all around him.  
  
"Nakano-san!"  
  
Hiro didn't bother to look up as the nurse had been trying to gain his attention for the past minute.  
  
"I just want to see him. I don't care about anything else, I just want to see my friend," he said, voice breaking. "Just take me to him."  
  
The nurse paused, then nodded. "But you mustn't say anything about the infection, Nakano-san, he'll find out on his own accord when he's strong enough to handle it."  
  
Hiro nodded quickly, anything to see his Shuichi again.  
  
He followed her eagerly. Nothing else filled his head except the thought of embracing Shuichi into an everlasting hug. Music, Yuki, and even Aizawa were far away from his thoughts.  
  
Getting to the very last room on the right hand side, the nurse allowed Hiro to go in alone. He swallowed hard and walked in slowly, hands dug into his pockets nervously.  
  
He hated hospitals, especially if it was him that was visiting.  
  
When he stepped into Shuichi's view, the young boy smiled. His large violet orbs beamed with excitement. Hiro didn't know whether to squeeze the life out of his friend with a single hug, or wait until he did it.  
  
"Hiro...you're crying," Shuichi said, stating the obvious with a wide grin.  
  
He was just so full of life again...it was hard to even think there was something wrong with him.  
  
Then, it was decided. Hiro gave one final sob as he enveloped his friend into his arms, grasping him hard. He cried on his shoulder and whispered he was sorry over and over again. He even managed at some point to sob out that it was his fault.  
  
"It's not your fault Hiro, I chose to go home that way."  
  
Hiro held Shuichi's hand in his as he sat in the chair beside the bed.  
  
"But...why? Oh Shuichi if you could only have seen me these past few days! All of us! Even your parents are worried!"  
  
Shuichi chuckled. "No way."  
  
Hiro nodded quickly and couldn't control his harsh breathing patterns. He was relieved, but still deeply saddened at the same time. Of course, the infection was still very mild, but what would happen in a month or two? Maybe even a few weeks from now something could happen.  
  
Shuichi ran his fingers through Hiro's hair smoothly. "I'm glad you didn't mean what you said earlier."  
  
Hiro closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his touch once again. It made him miss the old times even more.  
  
"I couldn't. Shuichi, if something happened to you, I wouldn't hesitate to give up my life in exchange for yours. After this happened, I was almost forced to call it quits."  
  
Hiro had said this so seriously that it wiped the grin straight of Shuichi's face. He punched his shoulder.  
  
"Don't say that! Besides, I knew this was going to happen again anyway. Aizawa's too jealous for his own good."  
  
Hiro's eyes went wide. "You...knew?"  
  
Duh!  
  
"Well...yeah, of course."  
  
Hiro frowned. "Then if you knew...why did you go that way?"  
  
Shuichi let out a brief chuckle. "Oh what does it matter?"  
  
Hiro stood up in fury. Shuichi's eyes followed him. "You could be dead right now, that's what matters! Have you forgotten the people that care about you?!"  
  
Their eyes left one another.  
  
"What people? I'm not loved by anyone."  
  
Hiro let the words sink in like a ten-ton weight pulling him down to the darkest depth of the ocean.  
  
"Speaking of...does Yuki know about this?"  
  
Hiro sighed. He knew that question was on the tip of his tongue forever now.  
  
He moistened his lips and grabbed Shuichi's warm hands.  
  
"I want you to forget about him. I'm saying this as your friend. Please Shuichi, you'll only get yourself hurt again. I know you love him, but he'll never return it. If you need a place to go, come with me."  
  
"Hiro..."  
  
"Just don't make the same mistake again. I hate seeing you hurt."  
  
Shuichi thought about Hiro's words for a moment, but then shook his head.  
  
"I can't. I love him. I know I can change him." "You can't change what he is!" Hiro shouted suddenly. "Please Shuichi. Even ask Suguru or Seguchi-san how I was acting the past few days! I hurried home everyday to see if you'd be there. If Aizawa hadn't told me where you were...I would have never..."  
  
Suddenly, putting everything behind him in, he grabbed onto Shuichi's chin with his thumb and forefinger and brought his lips to his, relishing the beautiful kiss.  
  
Shuichi caught on and yanked his head back.  
  
"Hiro?!"  
  
He stared blankly for a couple seconds, and then covered his face miserably once he had realized what he'd done.  
  
"Oh Shuichi, I'm sorry. I've just missed you so much and I've been looking high and low for you, that—"  
  
Shuichi sat up, throwing his legs over the side.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause such a gap in your life," he said, voice going from joyful to a penetrating growl that brought Hiro's eyes back to his.  
  
Hiro didn't know whether to take that as an insult or not. When he locked eyes with Shuichi once more, the young singer was displaying half an angry scrunched up face.  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
Shuichi hopped off the bed like he had been fine for days.  
  
"Don't be such a drama queen. You're overdoing it." Hiro felt hurt. He watched Shuichi collect his clothes that were hanging up in the closet by the bed.  
  
"Shuichi...I worried about you...a lot."  
  
He scoffed. "Don't bother. It'll only kill you sooner. I'm going back to Yuki."  
  
Hiro felt himself burn up inside. Flames flew out from the sides of his ears as his face grew a deep crimson color. Marching straight up to Shuichi, he swung the shorter boy around to face him. Was he wrong to do so? All this worrying and Shuichi brushed him aside all of a sudden now that he remembered Eiri.  
  
"I'm still number two in your life, aren't I?" Hiro yelled. "I saved your life, the least I could do was get a thank you!"  
  
Shuichi scrunched up his face. "Well no one asked you to."  
  
He snaked by Hiro and went into the bathroom, shutting the door. Hiro felt the great deep urge to take off, but he didn't. No matter what, he was going to see that Shuichi turned back into the best friend that he once remembered and loved.  
  
"So...I guess you'll be staying at Yuki's from now on, huh?" Hiro asked, trying not to sound wounded. He ignored the pain that shot up through his stomach and lingered in his heart.  
  
"That's right," Shuichi said through the door. "And you can't stop me."  
  
Hiro sighed and leaned up against the wall.  
  
"I don't want to stop you, Shuichi. I just want to let you know that I'm here for you...what is so wrong about that?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry I kissed you. I shouldn't have, I know. I was just so worried—"  
  
"Hiroshi! Stop giving me your pity, I don't want to hear it."  
  
Hiro's face loosened up. Since when did he call him Hiroshi?  
  
Shuichi left the bathroom and tossed a quick angry look at Hiro, then left. Hiro sighed with defeat.  
  
"Great, here we go again..."  
  
Grasper's note: okay, the good stuff doesn't end here, trust me! In the next chapter, they found out about what happened to Tohma back in chapter 7 and oh believe me, the fun stuff doesn't end. Tearjerker really. In my opinion, the second half of the story is much better than the first. Shuichi being infected is just the beginning. R&R please! And thanks to all of you who reviewed me in the past, I really appreciate it ^^ 


	10. Cruel Fate

Hiro left the hospital, trying not to think about Shuichi. He was all right and alive, that's what counted. It looks like he will have to go through someone else to call his best friend now.  
  
"Wait...what am I saying? It's just a phase. He'll be fine in a couple days." The next morning, Hiro went to the studio like he had every morning to practice for the Battle of the Bands, hoping that Shuichi would be there today.  
  
Hiro didn't want any other place to go but the studio to see his friends. It was no doubt Shuichi went back to Yuki. The same things were going to keep happening, unless Hiro by miracle smashed some sense into the man's head.  
  
Right when he came into view of the studio, there were reporters lined up as far as the eye could see. How did they find out about Shuichi so fast? How did they know he had a virus?  
  
Hiro jogged over around the back and entered that way. Going down a few flights of stairs, he entered Bad Luck's room, expecting to see Shuichi, but only saw Suguru sitting partially in the dark. Frowning, Hiro clicked on the light. Suguru gasped and yanked his head to the sound behind him. Hiro was puzzled when he saw streams of endless tears running down his face.  
  
"What's wrong? Where is everyone?" Hiro asked.  
  
Hiro was a little bewildered when Suguru got up and threw his arms around him, soaking his chest.  
  
"Oh Hiro...I don't know why he did it! He was so happy! There was nothing wrong with him, he was perfectly fine!"  
  
Was he talking about Shuichi?  
  
"Suguru..."  
  
The look on his face told Suguru that he had no idea what's going on.  
  
"You mean...you haven't heard? The damn media is all over this like it's some sort of cheerful get-together!"  
  
Hiro was maximum clueless. He sat patiently and waited for Fujisaki to get his grip on things.  
  
Suguru was about to speak again when he heard Ryuichi's voice from all the way at the other end of the hall. Ryuichi, yelling? That didn't make sense.  
  
Suguru crying didn't either. "What's going on?"  
  
Suguru handed him a clicker for the TV they kept down there.  
  
"Find out. It's all over the place. I can't stand to see anymore of this."  
  
Suguru let out a few more sobs before he exited the room and slumped against the wall, sliding to the floor, holding his hands to his face.  
  
"Why? Why?! What did I do to deserve this?!"  
  
_______________________  
  
Hiro clicked the power button on the controller and was taken to a news station. He stood behind the couch and turned it up loud enough so he could hear it.  
  
//Hello, we are back with the exclusive shocking report. This morning, the keyboardist and very famous member of the past band, Nittle Grasper, Seguchi Tohma was found dead just near the Tokyo bridge. There are no witnesses to confirm what truly happened to Seguchi-san, but we do believe it was suicide-"//  
  
Hiro clicked off the TV and allowed the controller to slip out of his hand and crash onto the hard ground beneath him, nearly cracking.  
  
"Why?" he asked aloud.  
  
"Are you happy now?" Suguru asked from the doorway.  
  
Hiro turned to him.  
  
"Suguru..."  
  
"Yes, my cousin killed himself. He committed suicide and I was so blind and didn't see it coming."  
  
Hiro's head was already full of unanswered questions that he knew might possibly never be answered.  
  
"I always knew he was stressed out. No one ever took him seriously when he said he needed a break or he would just die, no one ever did. But here we are now, everyone, including millions of fans of Grasper, in total heartache because they worked my cousin to the bone without a break or even a word of praise."  
  
Hiro sighed and lowered his head. He's gotten really good at not being able to hide his emotions anymore.  
  
"Is that why?" he asked in a barely audible voice. "Does everyone else know?"  
  
"Everyone's upstairs, trying to rid the reporters."  
  
"Is Shuichi here too?"  
  
Suguru shook his head.  
  
"No, but he did come back last night. He was energetic as ever. He even asked how Tohma was. Little did we know that he was already dead. And you know what I said?" he asked, crying once more. "I said that he was fine and that he left early because he got into an argument with Ryuichi, but everything was to be fine. It wasn't! Goddamn it, why?! He may have been stressed, but that's no reason to kill yourself!"  
  
Hiro let out a strangled sigh.  
  
"I'm sorry Suguru. It shouldn't be this way."  
  
Suguru flew at Hiro, wrapping his arms around him and cried loudly. It was Suguru like no one had ever seen. He must have been real close to Tohma to get this sort of reaction out of him.  
  
"I don't think I'll ever have the strength to perform again! Everything just seems to be falling apart!"  
  
"I know," Hiro whispered, thinking about how his world was going down as well with Shuichi. "I know." 


	11. Words of the Heart

Eiri hadn't gotten up yet and Shuichi was up on the couch, watching the news, bawling quietly to the news he had just heard about Tohma. Just then, and forgetting about the still sleeping Eiri, he stormed out and headed to the studio.  
  
__________________  
  
Hiro was in the process of helping with pushing the reporters away when Mika came into view. She looked worse than everyone combined. Her eyes were extremely puffy and it looked like she had been crying for a half a year non-stop. In one hand, she carried a soaking wet handkerchief. In the other, she held that corny hat that Tohma always wore.  
  
"Are you sure you want to be here, Mika-san?" Hiro asked.  
  
She let out a tiny whimper and nodded.  
  
"It's okay. I knew something would happen to Tohma like this. He wasn't happy, not even with me!"  
  
She brought the handkerchief to her nose and sniffed back the tears that followed.  
  
"He loved my brother, he always has. I could see it. The only reason he married me was to get closer to him!"  
  
"Oh Mika-san, I'm sure that's not true."  
  
"Oh really?!" she cried, fury in her eyes. "I know he did! He's been so distant from me! He wouldn't even sleep in the same bed with me! He committed suicide because of the fact he couldn't get in my brother's pants!"  
  
She had spat that so forcefully that it made Hiro cringe.  
  
"That just gives me one more reason to hate Shuichi!"  
  
"Shuichi's not the problem," came an immediate voice from behind Hiro.  
  
Hiro turned his head to the door quickly, then backed away slowly when he discovered who it was.  
  
Eiri walked slowly into the quiet room they were standing in, hands shoved in his pockets and a cigarette in between his lips.  
  
"You've always been one to blame others, Mika," he said with a slight smirk.  
  
Mika clenched her fist at her brother. "Shut up!"  
  
"He just didn't want to see your face any longer, can't say I blame him."  
  
"Well fine, you're to fault then! You knew of his feelings for you!"  
  
Eiri merely shrugged. "So, what's the point? Can't handle the fact that your baby brother got his heart won by someone that used you to get close to him?"  
  
Hiro felt as if he were stuck in the middle of all this, looking at each individual with wide eyes. He was frozen when Eiri met him back.  
  
"Get lost, puke," he ordered roughly.  
  
Hiro nodded quickly and dodged out of the room as fast as he could. The second he left and shut the door, Mika had never been so emotional in all her life. Even as Hiro walked down the wall, he could still hear her screaming at her brother.  
  
The whole time Mika yelled at Eiri, she verbally bashed Shuichi to him. She called him every bad name she could think of, until Eiri grabbed her by the shoulders and accidental rage built up within him, sending Mika to the ground with the cause of a loud and painful slap across the face. Eiri stepped backwards; alarmed and shocked, eyes stretched open to their maximum and staring at his trembling hand.  
  
Mika just continued to sob lightly, sitting on the floor in the position she fell in.  
  
"So it's true then," she said in a low voice. "You haven't changed a bit. I was hoping you would when you left and hadn't been back home in years." She looked up at him with a tired expression, due to crying to a strong extent.  
  
"M-Mika, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."  
  
She shook her head sadly. "It's not your fault, Eiri. I should have been more compassionate towards you. I've just decided that...I'm not going to let Tohma's death get to me anymore. I loved him, but I thought he loved me in return. I had no idea that he was just using me to get to you," she whispered, clutching his hat in her arms.  
  
"Mika, that's not true. Tohma cared. He said so himself."  
  
She let out a little helpless chuckle.  
  
"Even if that were true Eiri, he loved you twice as much. Did you love him in return?"  
  
Eiri's lips parted, but nothing came out at first. Mika's weak eyes set on his. He could plainly see that her heart was torn beyond question.  
  
"I know I loved him. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have married him. At first, he seemed so happy, but now...it just all boils down to you, brother."  
  
Eiri offered her his hand. She took it and stood up, fingering the edge of the black hat, not meeting Eiri's eyes.  
  
"But I do ask you though...did you love him?"  
  
Eiri froze right in the middle of pulling out a cigarette. He was hoping that godforsaken question wouldn't arise again. He sighed.  
  
"Mika...okay, fine, I did, but I was younger. He's the only one that would listen to me. If it weren't for him leading me to believe that male and male relationships weren't at all wrong, I probably wouldn't be with Shuichi."  
  
Mika nodded.  
  
"Okay. I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble, Eiri. I guess I'll never know the real reason why Tohma's gone..."  
  
___________________  
  
"Hiro...are you angry with me?" Shuichi asked in a low voice as he stood perfectly still in the same room together, only Hiro's back was turned to him. He still felt deeply hurt from their last encounter.  
  
"I don't blame you if you are. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have reacted that way when you kissed me. I guess...I just took it the wrong way."  
  
"Don't be sorry, I'm the one who should be."  
  
Shuichi stepped forth, closer to Hiro.  
  
"But that doesn't matter anymore. Hiro, this isn't the day to be fighting. Tohma's gone and Ryuichi's pinning the blame on himself. Tohma was his life. But either way you put it, it seems to end up being all my fault because I got with Yuki and got the shit beaten out of me once again."  
  
Hiro felt a deep sudden urge to embrace his friend, but held back. So many things were happening at once that it confused him. Now that one of them was back to normal, they would have to suffer together the loss of their president and friend.  
  
"Hiro..."  
  
Shuichi embraced Hiro from behind, resting his head against his back.  
  
"Oh Shuichi," Hiro whispered identically.  
  
"I feel so bad for Sakuma-san. I've never seen him so hurt before. He told the reporters that it was his fault. He doesn't lie. He's scared and none of us know the real reason."  
  
__________________  
  
Six hours and much crying later, the reporters were finally gone after getting enough gossip to satisfy them and feeling as though they made quite a profit. Hiro and Shuichi sat on the velvet red couch in their studio room, Suguru sat on the opposite side of them and K stood behind him, resting his hand comfortingly on his shoulder. K was never good with being sympathetic, so he tried his best to act it.  
  
Suguru's eyes would be seen constantly looking over at Tohma's desk as if he expected him to show up there and put on his heartwarming grin. No one knew though how much pain was behind that grin. It wasn't all Yuki Eiri behind his pain; there were other reasons for it. Some of which would probably never get answered. 


	12. Just an Accident or Something More?

Grasper's a/n: Big warning! Ryuichi is VERY OOC in this chapter; so do read at your own risk! ^^  
  
"Ryuichi, would you just listen to me!" Noriko cried, pulling her band member back by the arm. "Please!"  
  
Ryuichi had gathered several painful headaches all in one spot from weeping all day, something he hadn't done in a long while.  
  
He shoved her back. She gasped loudly in shock at his fierceness.  
  
"I've been listening to you all day! Can't I just have some peace and fucking quiet for at least a couple of hours?! Okay, I fucked up, I fucked up and I killed my friend! I killed my fucking best friend because I'm an asshole, okay?! Did you come in here just to be a nagging bitch about it Noriko, huh?!" Noriko's mouth dropped. Somewhere out of the blue, Ryuichi picked up a new attitude.  
  
"Ryuichi!" she cried with surprise.  
  
"Get OUT Noriko! Get the fuck out of my sight! I'm sick of you trailing behind me every time I want to get some damn peace! Tohma's dead, okay, he's fucking dead, he's not coming back! If he had gotten those lyrics like I wanted and didn't worry about Shuichi, he'd still be here, and you know what we'd be doing right now Noriko, huh? We'd be practicing, that's what the hell we'd be doing right now! But no! Of course not!!"  
  
He kicked the closest thing towards him, which so happened to be the concrete wall. With a piercing series of screams, he punched the wall with clenched fists, screaming out how much he hated Tohma with tears shooting out of his eyes.  
  
"Goddamn it, why?! What the fuck have I done?"  
  
"Ryuichi..." Noriko started in a soft tone, "you didn't do anything wrong. Tohma left hear last night downhearted because of other reasons. He went to Yuki Eiri's house last night because he wanted someone to love him. He didn't think Mika-chan did, so he looked to other sources. Ryuichi...everyone wants to be loved. Tohma did too...more than we know. No one fulfilled that wish for him...and so he took the only way out he could think of. I guess he felt as if he were a burden to everyone."  
  
Ryuichi gave the wall another weakened punch.  
  
"That's no damn excuse! I would have loved him if he wanted me to!" He covered his face with his hands. "Noriko...please leave me."  
  
Noriko would have, but she didn't trust Ryuichi alone. The way he was strangely behaving and acting like Tohma was his existence; he might try and take his own life as well.  
  
"I won't take the chances, Ryuichi. I'm sorry, but...I can't. I won't go unless I know for a fact you're going to be okay."  
  
Ryuichi grinned weakly at Noriko.  
  
"You mean...you think I'm going to commit suicide like Tohma did, don't you? Do you really think that of me?"  
  
Noriko didn't hesitate. She nodded.  
  
"I do, Ryuichi. You're changing right before my very eyes! I know Tohma was our band mate and he'll be sadly missed, but—"  
  
"You just simply don't care because it wasn't your fault. I see how you play this Noriko, I see how you are. You don't care about a damn thing as long as you're not to blame for it!" he shouted, standing.  
  
Noriko's eyes followed him.  
  
"That's it, isn't it? Tohma would be very displeased with you right now!"  
  
Noriko sighed, lowering her head.  
  
"You're overreacting again Ryuichi. No matter what I try to say to you, you'll find some twisted way to turn it all around and shoot it right back in my face!"  
  
"There you have it! Leave me alone. Don't follow me!"  
  
Ryuichi stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Noriko never went after him.  
  
__________________  
  
"It's getting late. You really should be getting home, Mika," Eiri whispered to his sister as they walked slowly to the park, spending time together for perhaps the first time in a long while.  
  
She chuckled dejectedly, still clenching the black hat in her hands.  
  
"I have no reason to go back home, Eiri. Everything would just remind me of Tohma. Even though he didn't love me as much as I loved him, it was still worth it...all those years we were together."  
  
The two stopped in the exact same place Tohma fell from. Mika looked over the side, her stomach tightening.  
  
"They say this is where it happened...right here." She held the hat close to her heart. "Even though he wanted to die, he must have been so scared!"  
  
Eiri embraced her as she sobbed forcefully onto his shoulder.  
  
"Oh Tohma...I loved him so much! I know I said I was going to forget about him, but I just can't!"  
  
Eiri brushed his fingers lightly through his hair.  
  
"I know you did, Mika, I know. He loved you too."  
  
"How do you know?" she sobbed.  
  
"Because he told me. He would always tell me how much he did. He just said the same thing you're saying. He didn't think you felt the same way."  
  
"What?" she questioned, backing away. "He said that?"  
  
Eiri nodded. "He did."  
  
She lowered her head. "How could he think that? I gave him my share. I let him make love to me whenever he wanted to. I let him vent out his anger at times whenever he needed it. I see no reason why he would think that way!"  
  
Eiri dropped his cigarette to the ground and crushed it lightly.  
  
"I'm sorry Mika. I don't really have any fond memories of Tohma. I was still just a child."  
  
Mika sighed and looked off the bridge.  
  
"I guess I just have to let him go then, unanswered questions and all. Maybe it's best that way."  
  
It was a little after dark at this point and getting rather chilly.  
  
"Come on Mika, I'll take you home."  
  
Mika was about to step away when her hand brushed across something wet on the railing. Looking at her fingertips, her eyes went wide.  
  
"What is it?" Eiri asked.  
  
"Eiri..." she breathed, rubbing the sticky substance on her fingers with her thumb. "It's blood."  
  
__________________  
  
Suguru and Shuichi had fallen asleep where they sat, spent from a day's worth of crying. Hiro and K were the only ones awake, but very tired as well.  
  
"I think we should leave," K said in a voice just above a whisper.  
  
"I guess the Battle of the Bands is out of the question for both groups, huh?"  
  
K gave a tiny nod. Hiro's nod followed it.  
  
"Even if we were still going, we wouldn't be prepared," he said, looking over at Shuichi.  
  
K scooped up Suguru's tiny frame into his arms, while Hiro did the same to Shuichi and left the studio for what would be a long time.  
  
_________________  
  
Hiro took the sleeping Shuichi to his place and laid him on his bed. He was still confused about their relationship. Were they still friends? Everything just seemed like it was going so fast. Just like that, their competition entry was thrown out and Nittle Grasper lost a band member and a very good friend. The incident already had gone universal and probably left a lot of the world in tears, asking themselves why. There would be a lot of questions to be left unanswered.  
  
Hiro slithered in beside Shuichi and tried to put his mind to concentrate on one thing and one thing only and that was Shuichi. He listened to his friend breathe calmly as he slept. Everything seemed to be crashing down now. Without warning, everyone's life was ending.  
  
He draped his arm lightly around Shuichi and fell asleep with his head beside his.  
  
___________________  
  
"Mika, wait!" Eiri called as Mika ran as fast as she could down the street wearing high heels.  
  
"Suicide my fucking ass!" she called back. "I never believed that for a minute! He was murdered Eiri! Some one killed my husband and they're going to be brought down!"  
  
"You're overreacting!"  
  
"I don't need your help!" she countered. "I've been doing fine with you for the past few years, don't change on me now!"  
  
Eiri stopped running while Mika continued her fast pace. She was going to get nowhere at night. Eiri sighed and walked the opposite way back home.  
  
Mika knew the truth. By the time she got urgent help and nearly dragged witnesses up to the bridge, there were no traces of blood anywhere to be found. 


	13. Wounded Hearts

"Tohma wouldn't commit suicide!" Mika cried into the phone at the only person she could reach the next morning, which so happened to be Suguru on her cellular, who ended up staying overnight with K.  
  
"And I'm not crazy either! I know what I saw! Eiri was with me!"  
  
Suguru, who was still as much disturbed as Mika, couldn't handle the yelling and screaming. His hands shook so much that the phone nearly slipped out of his hands.  
  
"Please Mika-san, I can't take anymore of this..."  
  
"Do you believe that he would have done that?! I'm about to blame anyone I can get my hands on right now! Until I find some answers, I'm not letting this go!"  
  
And with that, the phone slammed down in Suguru's ear. He hung up, struggling not to cry again.  
  
A pair of strong arms wrapped around his torso and was sealed into another body for support. Suguru leaned back into the warm touch.  
  
"Don't worry Fujisaki-san, we'll get this figured out," the American said.  
  
Feeling someone care made Suguru reach tears again. The cell phone slipped from his hand and fell to the solid oak floor, nearly breaking.  
  
"Why?" he sobbed lightly. "Why would someone kill him? Who has a grudge against him?!"  
  
Unfortunately, no one knew the answer, although it couldn't get anymore complicated. They took the hard way out.  
  
"I don't know," K said, not able to think of anything at the moment.  
  
"Poor Ryuichi, he must be taking it hard, huh?"  
  
K gave a deep sigh.  
  
"Well...all hopes of reviving Nittle Grasper are gone. That and he blames himself. I never thought I'd see this side of him. Every other word out of his mouth is 'go the fuck away' or 'leave me the hell alone'. He's no longer that energetic, loveable singer the world knows."  
  
"How's Noriko-chan handling it?"  
  
K shook his head.  
  
"She's dealing, and also trying to get Ryuichi to believe he didn't do anything. He won't listen. If we don't get him help soon..."  
  
Suguru gasped and turned to face K.  
  
"K...don't say it!"  
  
K nodded sadly.  
  
"He just might."  
  
"Can someone like Ryuichi really turn into something like that? Psychotic?"  
  
Suguru hated to use such a term for him, but nothing else seemed to fit. He would lose his mind, wipe out everything around him, then end up killing himself.  
  
Suguru reached for his jacket and threw it on.  
  
"I need to talk to him."  
  
_________________________  
  
Ryuichi grew up right before everyone's eyes. No one even pictured something like Ryuichi, immature and loveable, turning into some serial killer and destructive psycho. With two things on his mind: the incident being his fault, and Tohma being nothing more than his best friend, his mind went blank and formed a monster.  
  
Suguru knocked on his front door, only to be met face to face with Noriko.  
  
"Noriko-chan! I need to talk to Ryuichi!"  
  
Noriko shook her head sadly, not moving.  
  
"He's locked himself in his room. The only thing I've been able to do was talk to him through the door."  
  
Suguru bit his lip and pushed Noriko to the side.  
  
"I don't care!"  
  
He had been in there plenty of times before with Tohma.  
  
"Sakuma Ryuichi! Open this door!" he yelled and pounded with his fist after trying the door and finding it locked.  
  
"Leave me the hell alone!"  
  
Suguru sighed. K was right.  
  
"I'm not leaving! I'll break this door down if I have to! We're worried about you Ryuichi-san! You're changing right before our eyes!"  
  
"You didn't kill your best friend!" he hollered back in a cry that gave away the fact that he'd been crying the whole time and probably had one hell of a headache.  
  
"You didn't kill him either! Think about it! If anyone is to be mostly saddened, it's me! He was my cousin!"  
  
"Family blood or the title of a best friend. It doesn't change the way I should feel! Get out of here, Fujisaki!"  
  
Suguru's lip trembled. He bit it and couldn't prevent burning tears from building up in his eyes, soon begging for release.  
  
"Please...Sakuma-san," he said in a voice just above a whisper. "It will do you good to talk to someone about it. Talk to me, Ryuichi, please...I'm so worried."  
  
Suguru didn't think he could get any more desperate. Silence grew thick. Soft footsteps were being heard inside, approaching the door. Suguru was alert and looked up. The lock was played with and the door slowly opened. Suguru looked eye to eye with Ryuichi. His eyes were dreadfully puffy and bloodshot. The white part of his eye was deep crimson and the front of his face was stained with dry tears and newly forming ones. In his arms, he carried his precious Kumagoro.  
  
"What do you want?" he asked in a delicate voice.  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
Ryuichi stepped aside and Suguru entered slowly. He looked up and stared at the room he had stood in. Ryuichi's once beautiful room was now obliterated with just about everything he owned thrown around.  
  
"What?" he asked again.  
  
Suguru sat on the corner of his bed, exhaling noisily.  
  
"Ryuichi...how much longer do you think this could hold out? I mean.this?" he asked, gesturing his hand out to any random point in the room. "You need to have some form of contact with the outside world!"  
  
Ryuichi's back turned to Suguru. "If I hadn't been so careless...Tohma would still be here. He wouldn't have killed himself!"  
  
Suguru stood and placed his hand tenderly on the sobbing boy's shoulder.  
  
"Ryuichi...if it makes the situation any better...Tohma didn't kill himself."  
  
Ryuichi spun to him with wide eyes.  
  
"Mika-san called me this morning...we think he was." Suguru hung his head, "....murdered."  
  
Ryuichi jumped back like he was being shot at.  
  
"I think she's right! Tohma...he had too many things going for him! He was happy right until the end! Mika-san said she had evidence, but the evidence is gone. I believe her though. He's my cousin and closest  
  
living relative...he would have talked to me, or Mika-san at least."  
  
Suddenly, the whole world got smaller and smaller as Suguru felt his chest tighten. White lights flashed passed his eyes as his eyeballs felt as if they were being pushed on. It got to the point where to forced him to his knees and sharp gasps escaped his lips. The very last thing he had thought he heard before his world drew a blank was Ryuichi screaming his name. 


	14. Innocence Lost

Shuichi stirred in his sleep before his eyes slowly opened to an extremely bright room, causing his eyelids to yield and close again.  
  
"You awake, Shuichi?" came Hiro's tired voice.  
  
Shuichi turned around to face his friend and open his eyes. Their eyes met. A smile came to Hiro's face.  
  
"Sleep good?"  
  
"Hai," Shuichi said, then yawned.  
  
Hiro continued to smile. "I can't believe you're still talking to me for what happened the other day."  
  
Hiro shrugged.  
  
"Don't worry about it. It's all right. I expected that sort of reaction from you. We're only supposed to be friends, but I guess I just took it a little too far. I missed you, probably more than words could say. Sorry."  
  
Shuichi smiled as his fingertips slowly ran up and down Hiro's arm, giving him goose bumps in a matter of seconds.  
  
"It's okay Hiro. I was just angry with Yuki and what happened. I wasn't thinking. Aizawa's up to his no good tricks again, isn't he?"  
  
Hiro nodded once.  
  
"Still friends?"  
  
Hiro gave him a one armed hug and sealed their upper halves together. Just as he was about to think how great it was to be friends with Shuichi again, the virus popped into his head, causing him to push himself back and jolt out of bed.  
  
"Hiro?" Shuichi questioned.  
  
He was rather shocked of Hiro's expression. Shuichi slid out of bed at Hiro's end and stood in front of him.  
  
"Did I do something wrong?"  
  
It was now or never. Shuichi had a right to know he was dying. As much as it pained him, he had to explain it and act strong for his sake.  
  
"Hiro...why are you crying?"  
  
The salt taste he previously had in his mouth grew back as he looked at Shuichi. How long did he have? A month? Half? Maybe two if he was lucky.  
  
He covered his mouth to muffle the sobs.  
  
"Hiro, you're scaring me." Shuichi placed his hand on his arm lightly.  
  
Hiro lost it. He couldn't help it. In just less than a few months, he would have to be standing over his dead best friend's casket with a single flower, surrounded by emotional souls who would miss their pink-headed baka with all they had. Just the thought of him having to say a little speech at the funeral about how he'll miss him and the thought of never seeing him again brought him to nearly a screaming sob and to his knees.  
  
Shuichi's eyes went incredibly wide as he saw his friend experience emotions that he had never even seen before. He knelt down with the hope to meet him eye to eye. Hiro had his eyes tightly closed, paining him to open them.  
  
"Hiro, please tell me what's wrong. You can trust me."  
  
Before he could even have a change to take in a breath of air, he was enveloped into a tight embrace.  
  
"H-Hiro?" "Shuichi, you're my best friend in the entire world, never forget that, never!"  
  
Question marks flew out from the top of Shuichi's head.  
  
"...Uh...I won't."  
  
This was it. Hiro had to tell him. They separated. Hiro had struggled to keep his eyes open and looking directly at Shuichi's.  
  
"They told me...that you should know this when you're strong enough to handle it."  
  
"Who? What are you talking about?" Shuichi blurted.  
  
"Just...listen. Don't interrupt please. This is hard enough for me as it is..." Hiro swallowed the lump in his throat and started again. "When Aizawa...set up that trap...one or both of those kids...they...were infected, Shuichi."  
  
His last words were barely heard and he had lost all eye contact with Shuichi.  
  
"Hold it, what are you talking about?" he asked, forcing Hiro's eyes back into his. Hiro wanted so bad to look away. Shuichi's eyes lost all happiness and were turned to instant fear.  
  
"The nurse...said it might possibly be HIV or AIDS."  
  
"Impossible!" Shuichi screeched. "Are you saying that I'm dying?!"  
  
Hiro grew limp.  
  
"...Hai..." he said in a barely audible voice, staring at the floor.  
  
"This isn't a joke, Hiro! If this is something to get me back—"  
  
Hiro viciously seized Shuichi's head and crashed his mouth onto his, struggling his hardest to silence him. If anything, he couldn't hear how worried and hurt Shuichi was.  
  
Shuichi pushed him back just the same.  
  
"Don't cover it up!" he cried. "Tell me what you know!"  
  
"That is what I know!"  
  
He got up quickly. "Don't yell at me Hiro!" Shuichi said, standing with him. "You're not the one dying here!"  
  
Hiro shuddered at the ferocity in his voice.  
  
"I'm not going until you tell me everything!"  
  
Hiro's hand went to his face. "Oh please Shuichi," he whispered. "This is hurting me much more than it could ever even reach you. Please..."  
  
Hiro's breathing quickened as he tried to ward away the dizziness. Shuichi pressed both hands on his chest and nearly flinched at the rate his heart was pounding.  
  
"You're not kidding are you?" he whispered feebly to a hand. "I'm really dying."  
  
Hiro released a shuddering breath. "Oh Shuichi...don't say that. I beg of you."  
  
Relaxing his face and deeply stunned by the way his friend was acting, even if he did know the reason, he slowly embraced him. The moment Hiro felt his arms wrap around him, he closed the rest of the space off in a matter of seconds.  
  
__________________  
  
Ryuichi laid Suguru on the couch, placing a wet a cloth on his forehead, helping him regain consciousness. It was a few good minutes before he got anything from him, even a stir.  
  
"Can you hear me?"  
  
Suguru's eyes opened to the sound of his voice. "Where am I?" he muttered.  
  
"You fainted," Ryuichi reminded.  
  
Things came back to his head slowly in a blur. He gasped and sat up swiftly.  
  
"It's okay," Ryuichi said in a comforting tone, resting his hand on the lower part of Suguru's arm.  
  
Suguru was forced back down with strong stomach pains. He groaned, alerting Ryuichi.  
  
"Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?"  
  
Suguru's head waved. "No. I'll be fine...my stomach just got a little nauseous, that's all."  
  
Ryuichi set his hand flatly on Suguru's clothed stomach, moving in soft circles. "Better?"  
  
Suguru frowned in shock. "Ryuichi?"  
  
Ryuichi set his eyes to Suguru's and didn't pay any attention with what his hand was doing. Suguru tensed as he brought his hand slowly up the center of his chest.  
  
Suguru let his head back into the pillow and closed his eyes as Ryuichi's fingertips brushed slowly across each pair of nipples almost seductively. Moans escaped Suguru's lips. He had never been touched like this before.  
  
"Do you like that?" he whispered into his ear, sending chills to every corner of his body. Suguru nearly flinched as something wet and warm traveled along the edge of his ear and, then inserted itself into the opening to the canal. Suguru's head jerked to the side when a strong scent of alcohol filled his nostrils.  
  
"What is it?" Ryuichi asked.  
  
His hand never stopped curiously wandering its new surroundings. It journeyed the opposite way to Suguru's outer thigh.  
  
"This is wrong," he breathed. He couldn't help but ravish Ryuichi's talented fingers, even if he wasn't himself.  
  
"Then why does it feel so right?" Ryuichi countered, running his tongue across his pale cheek and outlined his lips, dipping his hand and massaging Suguru's inner thigh.  
  
"I've always loved you Tohma. Mika always got in the way of us ever having a relationship," he respired. "Not any longer. I want you to be mine."  
  
Helpless, Suguru opened his mouth and received an electrical surge of passion through Ryuichi's kiss. It was soft at first, but the more tempted his hand got, the more furious he was.  
  
Tohma? He thinks I'm Tohma? Oh god...  
  
It was when his hand got a little too far to Suguru's personal area that he pushed his head away and brushed his hand off.  
  
"No Ryuichi," he said firmly.  
  
Ryuichi looked almost hurt. Suguru's eyes seemed roughly terrifying.  
  
"Why don't you like me, Tohma-san?"  
  
Suguru nearly started up crying again. Ryuichi was creating something he had hoped he'd never have to see or be a part of. Ryuichi was larger and much older than he was, making Suguru vulnerable to his physical and mental attacks.  
  
"Tohma's dead, Ryuichi," Suguru whispered through burning tears and heartbreak. "My cousin is gone."  
  
"Cousin?" Ryuichi questioned, his pupils growing to an extraordinary size. Suguru cringed. His eyes left Suguru's and took in his body, every inch with relish. He was hardly paying any attention to Suguru's words. In his mind, it was Tohma before him, blonde hair, and bluish green eyes, sending him back into his thoughts and dreams for the handsome keyboardist. To Ryuichi, Tohma may as well be as good as there. His binging of alcohol made his brain see anything he wanted to see. He had no idea that right before him was a crying mess sixteen-year-old Suguru he was about to badly hurt.  
  
Suguru sank into the back of the couch as best he could, scared of the crazy look in Ryuichi's eyes.  
  
"You're drunk," he whispered helplessly.  
  
"Ryuichi's not drunk!" he said in a bit of a laughing slur, then pulled out Kumagoro. "Am I...Kamagaro?"  
  
The bunny was forced to shake its head, pleasing Ryuichi.  
  
"See? Kamagaro knows all."  
  
That didn't change Suguru's mind the least. Lip trembling, he was afraid of the hyperactive singer for the first time in his life. Ryuichi couldn't even say his damn rabbit's own name correctly!  
  
There was still a way he could escape this horrible torture. Biting his lip, he threw his legs over the side of the couch, excusing himself shakily.  
  
"Where's yoo going?" he asked sloppily, on his hands and knees, looking upwards at Suguru.  
  
"I need...to go to the bathroom."  
  
Ryuichi smirked. "Oh no you don't!"  
  
He grabbed Suguru's ankle, sending the young teen falling on his backside with a small cry of shock. Ryuichi crawled over him, a silly, sloppy smirk spread on his face.  
  
"I know what you're doing...you're trying to get away from me!"  
  
Ryuichi sealed himself on top of Suguru, breathing the god-awful fumes into his sensitive nostrils, making his face cringe.  
  
"Why don't you like me, Tohma? I know you've always had a thing for Yuki Eiri, but...I can be just as good!"  
  
Suguru tried to free at least one of his limbs, but failed greatly.  
  
"Ryuichi...I'm not Tohma!" he cried, desperately struggling to free himself. "Tohma's dead!"  
  
Ryuichi froze. Those words got to his mind and struck him heavily. Tears budded up in his eyes.  
  
"Tohma..."  
  
"I'm Suguru, Ryuichi, not Tohma. Stop before you regret this...please."  
  
Nevertheless, Ryuichi's mouth crashed down on top of Suguru's where he kissed painfully hard. Suguru refused to let his tongue go any further than at the bottom of his lip. When Ryuichi began to whine, Suguru had no choice but to open his mouth and let the probing tongue enter.  
  
The alcohol was tasted inside Suguru's mouth now. It nearly made him want to gag. Ryuichi choked himself full of any kind of drinks he could pull to get Tohma off his mind. Since that was the only one thing he had thought of the entire time, the first person he laid eyes on was the knocked out Suguru lying on his couch at the time. He had been sober before when Suguru came over, but changed drastically suddenly.  
  
His hand snaked under Suguru's shirt, fingers tweaking the sensitive, young nipple. Suguru yelped inside his mouth, nearly swallowing his tongue.  
  
"Oh my Tohma, I could have taught you so much..." he whispered, kissing and sucking at Suguru's neck next. It was fruitless to try and stop him now. Once Ryuichi's mind was set on something, he did it. Suguru bit his lip and never stopped his tears as Ryuichi continued his onslaught.  
  
"You're so beautiful," he whispered. His hand traveled down to Suguru's semi-hard member and grasped it through his pants, making him gasp sharply.  
  
"Did I hurt you?" Ryuichi asked in an indistinct baby tone. He didn't stick around to hear the answer, for at the end of his sentence, he slithered down Suguru's tiny body and yanked at his belt with his teeth. While his mouth was busy, his hands securely kept Suguru to the ground so he wouldn't even think about moving.  
  
Someone, please help me! Noriko! Anyone!  
  
No one answered Suguru's internal pleas, for Ryuichi's mouth performed expertly and had the belt undone in a matter of seconds, then unbuttoned and unzipped his pants.  
  
Suguru's eyes went wide as they were being slowly and seductively pulled off.  
  
"No!" he cried. "Sakuma-san!"  
  
Ryuichi froze to place a finger of Suguru's mouth. "Patients are a virtue. If I do it fast, it won't be any fun. Let me make love to you the right way. Sit there and relax."  
  
Suguru's eyes widened horrifically as Ryuichi's talented hands went back to work. Suguru dug into the carpet, trying to fight back his involuntarily body actions taking place at his lower half. He was unknowingly growing harder and harder by the second, his body betraying him.  
  
After the pants were discarded, he choked on a gasp as Ryuichi fondled his arousal above his boxers.  
  
"You like that, don't you, my love? Don't fight it. I know you want this."  
  
He rubbed his face over it and traced his finger around the outlining. Suguru couldn't help but moan at this newly wonderful sensation.  
  
Ryuichi heard the moan and became harder himself. He ripped the boxers free from the small body in a microsecond and took one last look at his target, then dove his mouth onto it, extracting a cry from Suguru. He ignored this and bobbed his head up and down at the speed of light. Suguru clawed the floor below him and bucked his hips unknowingly.  
  
"No...no I don't want this!" he cried. "Ryuichi!"  
  
Ryuichi stopped. Suguru had almost sighed with relief, but in opening his tightly clenched eyes, she saw that Ryuichi had only paused to remove his own clothing. His shirt was thrown to any random place in the room, followed by his pants and boxers. Suguru had never seen anyone naked before, especially another male. It frightened him and he backed up, praying he could escape Ryuichi's penetrating glare somehow.  
  
It took a couple seconds to realize that his beloved had backed up, but quickly caught back on and pinned his legs down.  
  
"No!" Suguru cried, knowing what was coming next. He struggled, even when he knew it was hopeless. His body thrashed wildly from side to side, trying to free his legs. Ryuichi pushed down so hard that it hurt. He pounced onto him and claimed his mouth again.  
  
Suguru felt his erection jut into Ryuichi's stomach, causing him to whimper. He moved underneath him.  
  
"Don't worry, I'm going," Ryuichi whispered into his ear, then slithered down and spread Suguru's legs open to his satisfaction and stared at his target for only a matter of seconds. Suguru screamed his loudest as he jammed a dry finger up into him and moved it around before ripping it out. Suguru panted afterwards. The pain was unbearable. Tears leaked out from the corners of his eyes as he whispered pleadingly for him to stop.  
  
"Did you like that? Bet you'll like this one even more."  
  
Ryuichi's target became visibly clear now. Suguru bit his own lip as something wet and warm encircled his precious virgin area and dipped inward.  
  
"No more...please...oh god."  
  
That didn't last too long. Ryuichi stared back into the eyes of his captive.  
  
"Did you enjoy that?" he asked, still infused with alcohol.  
  
"No!" Suguru cried, still trying to wiggle his way out of Ryuichi's iron grip.  
  
Ryuichi smirked. "Don't worry, the best part is next."  
  
He draped Suguru's legs over his shoulders and positioned himself at the tight, unprepared entrance. Suguru panicked.  
  
"S-Sakuma-san, please, it's me! It's Suguru! Stop! I'm not Tohma!"  
  
Not a single word was heard. Instead, he stood, smirking.  
  
"Relax, you don't have to do any work."  
  
White spots shot through Suguru's eyes as Ryuichi forced himself swiftly and roughly into him, not stopping for anything.  
  
Suguru cried out for him to stop the entire time, but that only got him moving faster. Suguru brought his hands up to Ryuichi's hair and grabbed a handful, tugging it hard, trying to relieve some of the pain.  
  
He felt like he was going to snap in half at any given second. It was getting much easier to thrust now, for Suguru's insides were completely torn in every spot.  
  
Ryuichi wouldn't stop. Suguru's cries kept him going until he reached his climax. He screamed out Tohma's name before letting go inside the abused entrance. Ryuichi collapsed tiredly on top of Suguru. Suguru shook violently and painfully. His face was soaked with tears and he couldn't stop sobbing.  
  
"Was that good for you?" Ryuichi asked tiredly. "I can feel your heart beating fast. I guess that's a good sign. I've always loved you Tohma...I'm sorry about the lyrics..."  
  
After that, he spoke no more. His content breathing told Suguru that he had fallen asleep.  
  
"Why?" Suguru sobbed. "Why?!"  
  
A/N: Yes, I am highly aware on how bad I made this chapter. Who knows what goes through my mind, especially at night. Review please ^^ 


	15. Untrusted Souls

Suguru dressed himself in a flash and left the house even before Ryuichi had awoken. He felt sore all over and he hadn't stopped bleeding from his abused entrance. His stomach lined with bruises and his sides were imprinted from Ryuichi grasping onto his hips as he thrust into him at that violent rate. Sobbing, Suguru ran and ran until he could run no longer. His mind practically shut down. He didn't know if he wanted to be with friends and explain what happened or if he wanted to be alone. His limbs became weak and numb in no time. He stumbled, but was able to lean onto a wall before he fell. He paused to catch his breath.  
  
"I shouldn't have gone to Sakuma-san's! I should have stayed with K! Damn it all!"  
  
He collapsed to his knees willingly, sobbing in his hands. Ryuichi's stench still filled his nostrils and his solid kisses continued to linger on his lips.  
  
He had never thought of Ryuichi in that way, and that made him feel dirty all over. He had always heard of this happening to kids, but he never thought he of all people would be the next victim.  
  
Confused and scared, he stood up and ran non-stop home. Luckily, no one was there. He threw himself in the house and ran immediately to the bathroom, sniffling and trying to see through blurred vision. He tore off his clothes in any which way he could and turned the shower on as hot as it could possibly go.  
  
"I must get the dirt off," he whispered in a cry, looking around to see what he could use. Opening the cabinet beneath the sink, he pulled out a wire brush and stepped inside the scalding hot shower, instantly starting to cleanse himself the hard way. The hot water sprayed down on his shoulders, turning them red on the spot and would turn into blisters in just a few short moments. He cried loudly as he scraped the skin free from his arms. No words escaped his lips, just loud cries of determination. He felt no pain, only the joys of coming closer to his goal.  
  
Blood dripped from the deep scratches as he continued to scrub his hardest.  
  
"Oh god," he whispered as he felt a trifle dizzy. It wasn't long before he ended up unconscious at the bottom of the tub.  
  
__________________________  
  
"You were right Mrs. Seguchi, it appears, from the autopsy, that Seguchi Tohma-san was shot. Now, we don't know if it was a self-inflicted wound or not, but—"  
  
"My husband wouldn't kill himself," she said, still disturbed about the whole issue. She was more disturbed with the fact she didn't know what was going on. "There was blood on the railing. The same railing he fell over!" she declared loudly, standing.  
  
"And was it there when you went back, Mrs. Seguchi?" the cop asked, a little fed up with her ranting and raving.  
  
"No, but I do have a witness! My brother was with me!"  
  
The cop sighed. "Listen, I know you're a little...shaken up here with the death of your husband, but—"  
  
"Do you even KNOW who he was?!" Mika asked loudly, slamming both hands down on the desk before her. "He was part of Nittle Grasper! He had no reason in the world to commit suicide!"  
  
The cop rubbed his face. "I'm very well aware of who he was, Mrs. Seguchi, but perhaps you didn't know him as well as you think you did."  
  
Mika's face formed into a saddened frown.  
  
"The gun was in his hand when we found him off the bridge. He shot himself in the heart and fell over. If a murderer was involved, I highly doubt the gun would have still been sealed in your husband's own hand." Teardrops fell from Mika's eyes. "That still doesn't explain the missing blood," she said in a low tone. "It's almost like someone went back to cover it up."  
  
The cop stood. "Good day, Mrs. Seguchi. I big you farewell."  
  
He gave a slight bow, then went off elsewhere.  
  
It didn't take Mika long to walk on foot where they found her husband's body. The cement was still stained with his blood, making sobs escape her lips.  
  
"Tohma...oh why would you do this to me?! What did I do wrong?"  
  
Hearing something faint, almost like a chuckle from atop the bridge, she looked up to the same place Tohma fell from and shielded her eyes from the sun just in time to see a head disappear from sight.  
  
_____________________  
  
"Are you okay?" Hiro asked Shuichi as they got out of his apartment to walk around and get some fresh air.  
  
"I'm not afraid Hiro, if that's what you mean," Shuichi whispered.  
  
"You know, maybe it's just a fluke! I don't see any changes in you. Well, just your personality, but...we all have a reason to be saddened now."  
  
Shuichi shook his head slowly. "I don't know about that. I mean, I used to worship Tohma Seguchi, but then he became very cold towards me, so I don't know what to feel."  
  
"Hmm."  
  
"After I get my strength back, I'm going back to Yuki."  
  
Hiro knew this was coming sooner or later. His heart sank.  
  
"Of course you are," he muttered. "Shuichi, haven't you even thought about that? You wouldn't be in this situation right now if it weren't for him! Stay with me. Don't go back. He'll never love you like you want."  
  
Like he expected, Shuichi's glare was forced upon him.  
  
"I don't remember asking for your opinion. I love him. That's all that matters. I need to spend time with him before I'm six feet under."  
  
Hiro didn't want to start a fight with his friend and that's exactly what would happen if he kept going. He concluded it with a sigh.  
  
"You're right...I'm sorry. I was wrong."  
  
Shuichi said nothing more and continued walking. Hiro hated to keep being reminded that his friend was going to be worm food at such a young age.  
  
They had gotten no further than a few feet away when Hiro's cellular phone rang. Raising his eyebrows he gathered it in his hands. Who would be calling him at this time of the day? Aiyaka wouldn't be calling him for another few hours yet.  
  
"Nakano-"  
  
"No time to explain, get your ass down here, Nakano!" a booming voice demanded, interrupting his famous greeting.  
  
Hiro quickly picked up the frightened voice of K. The voice was so loud it was heard by Shuichi, causing him to stop and look curiously back at Hiro.  
  
"K? What is it?" Hiro questioned, exchanging glances with Shuichi.  
  
"Just get down here! I'm at the hospital with Sakano-san!"  
  
Just as Hiro went to speak again, the phone line clicked in his ear. Hiro disconnected.  
  
"What happened? What is it? Did they find out about me?" Shuichi asked in one breath.  
  
Hiro squared his shoulders. "I...have no idea what's going on. K's requested that we go there."  
  
During the way, they couldn't think of anything that was going wrong. Nothing seemed plausible. Guess they would have to wait and find out.  
  
When they got there, it wasn't hard to point out K and his outrageous height. Sakano was beside him, shaking like a leaf. The two entered, looking as dumb as ever.  
  
"What's the big idea, scaring us like this?" Hiro asked, furrowing his eyebrows at K.  
  
K looked like he had been crying just recently, shutting Hiro up permanently. All he could do was utter sounds, mouth agape. He had never cried before, not even when they found out Tohma had died.  
  
Sakano on the other hand, always cries over everything, so that wasn't anything new.  
  
"What...happened?" Shuichi asked, speaking for Hiro looking back and forth from K to Sakano.  
  
"Are you two here to visit Miss Fujisaki too?" a nurse asked solemnly, approaching them.  
  
Hiro and Shuichi's eyes gaped. Hiro was still unable to find his voice, and, at the time, Shuichi had too.  
  
"Yes, they are," K answered.  
  
"You may go in now, but two at a time. He's still recovering from the shock. We don't want to excite him too much."  
  
K nodded. The nurse departed.  
  
"What happened to Suguru?" Shuichi blurted.  
  
K said nothing, just closed his eyes.  
  
"Tell me, dammit!"  
  
K took in a deep breath and gave his answer on the exhale.  
  
"They think he tried to commit suicide. He's suffering from second-degree burns on the surface of his arms and has minor cuts and scratches everywhere else."  
  
Both boys felt their limbs grow numb. Hiro's mouth dried out instantly.  
  
"But...why?!" Shuichi asked, getting up in K's face.  
  
"Because he misses Tohma, it's obvious," Hiro said in a choked whisper. "He was his only living relative, the only one who ever understood him."  
  
Shuichi looked shocked. "What are you saying, Hiro? We understood him just fine!"  
  
Hiro shook his head sadly. "No we didn't. We never took him seriously. We goofed off, fucked around, and he was the only one who believed in the group after awhile. I don't know about you, but I'm going to see him."  
  
Hiro left. Shuichi followed afterwards, jogging to catch up. Getting to the last room on the left, Suguru laid down, arms wrapped up in gauze pads. He was only hooked up to one machine, which was a good sign, a machine that gave him a liquid painkiller.  
  
He was plenty awake and looking at them when they entered. The look on his face was disturbing and frightening. It scared them both dramatically.  
  
"Suguru...are you alright?" Hiro asked, sitting beside him, resting his hand on the roof of his.  
  
Suguru couldn't meet his eyes. He was relieved to have his friends with him now, but felt embarrassed at the same time.  
  
"What happened to you?"  
  
Suguru stayed silent. He knew what happened. He REMEMBERED every horrifying second in Ryuichi's household. When he came to in the cold shower, he panicked and rushed to get help right away. He was in a house of pain and desperate for something to cure it.  
  
"You can trust us. We won't say anything if that's what you want, Suguru." Suguru nodded almost unnoticeably. "I wanted to wash away the dirt," he voiced low, mostly mouthed. "I wasn't clean."  
  
Hiro and Shuichi exchanged frowns.  
  
"What do you mean?" Hiro questioned, rubbing his hand in circles over his. Suguru choked back tiny sobs. "Suguru?"  
  
"I want Tohma!" he cried out of the blue, making Shuichi and Hiro jump backwards a few inches. "Where is he? I want my cousin! I need him!"  
  
This time, their eyes did meet. Suguru looked horrified, but that didn't compare to the looks on Shuichi and Hiro's faces.  
  
"Suguru..."  
  
"Get him!" he cried, trying to break out of Hiro's struggle to keep him down on the bed. "I won't talk to you!"  
  
Suguru's outbursts had reached the ears of a lingering nurse and they were asked to leave immediately, all questioned unanswered.  
  
Hiro felt most awful.  
  
"What did I do?" he asked no one in particular while in the waiting room. "Did I hurt him?"  
  
Shuichi rubbed his back. "He's just scared, Hiro. He lost the one person he loved more than anything on this entire planet. I wouldn't be surprised if he was seeing things or thinking suicide."  
  
Hiro deeply sighed, running his fingers through his hair, thinking profoundly.  
  
"I don't know. Suguru's always been the sane one among the lot of us as far as I'm concerned. Something had to have caused him to go this far. Remember him that day we found out about Tohma's death, Shuichi? When he was talking to me? He showed his emotions, but I could definitely tell that suicide was the last thing on his mind. Someone drove him to do this. I don't know what or who exactly, but I'm going to get to the bottom of it." 


	16. Realizations

"Who's there?!"  
  
Mika's high-heeled feet ran her as fast as they could go up the hill and to the top of the bridge.  
  
When she got there, no one was visible.  
  
"Just come to pay my respects."  
  
Mika spun around with a gasp. A young boy came forth with his head lowered, but a smirk was definitely placed on his face.  
  
"Who are you?" Mika asked, noticing the smirk in plain view.  
  
The boy walked up to the railing Tohma fell over.  
  
"I was your husband's number one fan. Nittle Grasper, was it?"  
  
Mika frowned. "Yes...but why would you come here to pay your respects?"  
  
"He's not anywhere else, is he?"  
  
He met eye to eye with Mika. Mika gasped, knowing she had seen this face before, but couldn't remember where. He was nicely clad in a black suit with a purple shirt and matching scarf, and had his black hair in messy locks as part of his style. His eyes gave off a rather eerie feeling, giving her the chills and a funny feeling for him.  
  
"Thinking about where you might have seen me before?" he asked, standing up so Mika could fully see him. He walked closer after a few seconds, not losing his smirk.  
  
"What do you want?" Mika asked cautiously, stepping backwards.  
  
"To pay my respects to his beautiful wife, that's all? Is it so wrong?"  
  
Mika felt helpless under this mysterious glower. His eyes didn't appear at all innocent.  
  
"You...you..."  
  
"I what?" he inquired, backing her up against a tree, not leaving her any room to escape.  
  
"Those eyes...I know you. You're the one my husband pushed out in front of that car."  
  
The boy nodded. "That I am. What do you think of your husband now?"  
  
Mika straightened up. "He obviously had a reason to do it! Why are you even here? Not to pay your respects, he nearly killed you!"  
  
Tachi grinned. Mika hit it right on the dot.  
  
"Oh I'm here to pay my respects, just not the way you're thinking of. Let's just say...it was a favor."  
  
Question marks flew around Mika's head. Tachi's face got closer.  
  
"Kind of like a...thank you for pushing me out in front of that car too soon so I could come back here and pay my respects."  
  
He reached out his hand for Mika to shake. "I am sorry for your loss."  
  
As clueless as Mika was, the petrifying mysterious look in the boy's eye frightened him. She couldn't break the stare.  
  
"You have beautiful eyes, did Tohma ever tell you that?" he asked, taking his hand back.  
  
"N-no he didn't. He always told me they were too plain."  
  
His smirk turned into a smile. "He didn't know what he was talking about. I'll be around. Now that you're single again, don't be afraid to look me up."  
  
He left before Mika could even ask him his name.  
  
___________________  
  
Ryuichi woke up to a screech. His hangover was horrible.  
  
"You're naked and bleeding!" Noriko cried.  
  
"Noriko, do you mind?! My head hurts!" Ryuichi groaned, getting into a kneeling position and placing his hand over his forehead. Clothes were thrown at him in the next second  
  
"Clothe yourself, you pervert! I leave for one second and you get drunk and give yourself a hand job! I swear, I can't leave you alone for a second!"  
  
Noriko dashed out of the room and slammed the door to the living room, causing Ryuichi to scream out after her to keep it down, not helping his migraine at all.  
  
"What the hell happened?" he murmured aloud, throwing his shirt on and buttoning it. Opening his eyes, his tan carpet was stained with a now light brown substance, the same substance that covered his thighs and arousal. It didn't take a genius to realize what he had done, but tasted his finger just to make sure it was what he thought.  
  
Shuddering at tasting the metallic taste of blood in his mouth.  
  
"Oh god..." he whispered, standing to his feet and running down the hall to his shower, ignoring surprised yelps from Noriko.  
  
"Who was it?" he asked himself, resting his shaking hands on the faucets and turning them on. "It wasn't Noriko, I can tell...who came here before? Who was it?! I can't remember!"  
  
The door was knocked on.  
  
"Ryuichi! Are you okay in there? What happened? There's blood everywhere!"  
  
"I'm fine!" he called back, throwing his hand over his face, struggling to remember.  
  
"I'm worried about you!"  
  
Ryuichi clenched his fist and delivered it into the wall with extreme force. This wasn't helping his hangover and it certainly wasn't helping him remember anything.  
  
"Dammit Noriko I said I was fine! Go home, I can take care of myself now!"  
  
He had guessed she left after that because she never spoke again. The hot water was now fogging up the bathroom, making it easier for him to slide to his knees on the damp floor.  
  
"I raped someone," he sobbed in a low voice. "It's the only possible outcome."  
  
_____________________  
  
"What?!" Hiro yelled into his phone after the seventh time it rang in the last two minutes. "Oh...Noriko, sorry, I didn't mean to yell, I'm just having one hell of a night."  
  
"What's wrong Hiro?" she inquired.  
  
He sighed and lowered his head. "Suguru...we think he tried to kill himself."  
  
"What?" Noriko cried.  
  
"Yeah...he's in the hospital. We think it's because of Tohma. They were so close, you know? Everything's just happening so fucking fast these days, I can't hold onto something because once I get accustomed to it, something else happens! Fuck, I'm going insane! I have so many things on my mind that so happen to be all unanswered! First, Tohma dies, no one knows if it's suicide or not, then all of a sudden his cousin's in the hospital, not knowing if he was TRYING to commit suicide or not! Then there's Shuichi and his little problem...oh Noriko, I think I'm going crazy."  
  
"Don't...do anything stupid Hiro, okay? There was no reason whatsoever for Tohma to commit suicide, but if there was, it was because of his surroundings and that no one wanted him around. I will say this now: you are a great friend, Hiroshi. Shuichi loves you, we all do, okay?"  
  
Hiro chuckled almost evilly. "What do you take me for Noriko? I'm not crazy," he said in a low growl.  
  
Noriko let out a sigh. "Please Hiro. I know things aren't the best right now, but they will get better! I promise I'll find out what happened to Tohma if I have to do it myself. I know Mika's on it too."  
  
Hiro lay down on his bed, looking up at the ceiling, phone pressed to his ear.  
  
"Thanks, but that's not what's bothering me right now. New things come right after the other. Right now, it's Suguru. He was fine today! I talked to him this morning! He was still upset about Tohma, but he still kept some of that cheer in his voice! He said that Mika called him over at K's, then right after K said that  
  
Ryuichi just might be doing the suicide bit too...he went over there!"  
  
Noriko hummed a positive answer. "Yeah, he was here today. I left because I thought they wanted to be alone, but..."  
  
"But what?" Hiro asked suddenly, springing up to his feet. "Noriko, what happened?!"  
  
She didn't speak.  
  
"Noriko! What do you know?!"  
  
Noriko took the phone away from her ear. The shower was still running, but sobs could clearly be heard over the noise. Her eyes widened as far as they could go and the phone nearly fell out of her shaking hands. Hiro kept trying to get her attention.  
  
"Ryuichi...the blood...you..." 


	17. One More Fight, One More Enemy

"Noriko! Answer me! What is it?!"  
  
Noriko's eyes sealed onto the blood spots on the floor. Her heart nearly stopped.  
  
"Hiro...can I call you back?" she asked small.  
  
"What is it? Is it Ryuichi?"  
  
"I'm sorry Hiro," she breathed, and then hung up the phone. She knew exactly what had happened. Marching to the bathroom door, she banged on it with her fist, ignoring the sobbing cries inside the room.  
  
"Ryuichi, open up!" she hollered, trying the doorknob, only to find it locked. "Now!"  
  
No movement occurred.  
  
"Hiro just called and said Suguru was in the hospital! He tried to kill himself, any idea why?!!"  
  
Her voice had never been louder.  
  
"If you don't open this fucking door, I'm going to break it down! You can't remember anything can you? Well, I can tell you exactly what you did!"  
  
"No one needs to tell me!" Ryuichi cried from the other side. "I already know! I remembered, okay?! You won't understand Noriko! I told you to go home!"  
  
She pounded on the door again. "Ryuichi, don't you understand?! You can be put in jail for this! Suguru's underage! If he reports it, you're fucked!"  
  
Suddenly, the door was jolted open and before Noriko knew it, Ryuichi had her pinned to the wall, face in the most terrifying glare that the world never would have thought that would be worn on the angelic face of Ryuichi Sakuma.  
  
"I messed up, you don't need to keep going with it! So I had a few drinks and thought it was Tohma! Fucking sue me! I cared for Tohma a lot and my mind wouldn't give in to the fact that he was gone, so I went to the next best thing! Satisfied?!"  
  
Noriko whimpered, trying to loosen Ryuichi's grip against her shoulders.  
  
"You...knew it was Suguru?"  
  
"So what if I did?" he asked, half growling.  
  
Noriko gasped. "No! Ryuichi, you wouldn't do that!"  
  
Ryuichi let her go. "Wouldn't I? Care to challenge me?"  
  
"But...you...you wouldn't be crying if it wasn't an accident! I'm sorry I yelled at you, but this is serious! Suguru's in the hospital. I don't know exactly what he did, but this disturbed him! Ryu-chan, I love you, everyone loves you, but you can't keep drinking your problems away! I know you loved Tohma and the fight before he died tore you up, but I can't see you slip again! We're the only ones left, we need to stick together!"  
  
Ryuichi turned. His back faced to Noriko. He gave a throated chuckle.  
  
"You mean that from Nittle Grasper's point of view, don't you?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"Forget it. There's no Grasper without Tohma, I've said that before. He may have been the last to join us, but he was still important."  
  
Noriko hesitantly, but comfortingly, laid her hand on his shoulder. "I know that Ryuichi. Tohma...he was my best friend. We all are going to miss him, but you can't kill the pain with what you're doing! For the past few nights you've been doing nothing but drinking! Please don't continue that Ryuichi, I don't want to see you behind bars."  
  
Ryuichi's half naked form walked forth, back into the bathroom.  
  
"Don't hide the fact Noriko. You're right; I'm already looking at that sort of future. The media is sure going to love that. 'Nittle Grasper vocalist, in prison for the raping of a minor while under the influence of alcohol'."  
  
"Ryu-chan, it doesn't have to be that way! I'll talk with Suguru. I'll find out what really happened."  
  
Ryuichi leaned over to shut the water off. "Don't bother. The police will tell you once he rats me out and come here to slip handcuffs on me."  
  
______________  
  
Noriko never went down to see Suguru. She thought it best if Suguru talks when he feels it's necessary.  
  
From what she gathered, the hospital didn't even know of his rape, otherwise, Hiro would have told her straight off. She continued to stay with Ryuichi and watch over him with love and care so he wouldn't make the same mistake twice.  
  
"If only I knew the truth," Ryuichi whispered later on, dressed in red sweats and a blue zip up sweatshirt, "about Tohma, I mean. No one's ever going to know whether he committed suicide or was murdered. If he did commit suicide, it's my fault. I shouldn't have yelled at him about the lyrics. I guess I was just so bent on beating Shuichi in the competition..."  
  
Noriko sat closely beside him, resting her hand on his lap. "You have to stop blaming yourself. Tohma wouldn't want you doing that. There's nothing that's left to be done. Let him rest in peace, okay?"  
  
Ryuichi exhaled loudly and twiddled his thumbs. "How can I let him rest when I can't even let myself rest? Oh god, not only am I a rapist, I'm a murderer!"  
  
This was obviously a turning point for Ryuichi. Guess it fits that phrase "all good things must come to an end" Ryuichi definitely had it worse than anyone, Noriko thought. Still though, she would never give up.  
  
_____________________  
  
"You know, with Suguru now, I've forgotten about my own so called 'disease'," Shuichi said, flicking a card at Hiro during their boring game of Go Fish. "Everything's just stopping all of a sudden." Hiro asked for a 'three'. Shuichi gave him two of his cards.  
  
"You said Noriko called you?"  
  
Hiro nodded. "Yeah. She seemed kind of...tense, almost like she knew something. She did say that Suguru went over there this afternoon."  
  
Shuichi was in full alert. "Did she?"  
  
"Yeah, but she left."  
  
Shuichi supported himself on his elbows. "Are you saying that Ryuichi's the one who did that to Suguru? I doubt that!"  
  
Hiro shrugged. "I don't know, but I do know that there's more to this than meets the eye."  
  
"Hmm...maybe I should call Yuki and let him know about all this."  
  
Hiro scoffed immediately upon hearing that man's name. "He won't care. Don't bother. Doesn't concern him the least. He won't do shit."  
  
Shuichi sat up. "You don't have to be an ass about it, Hiro. It was just a suggestion," he said in one of his stricter tones.  
  
"Yeah, you also said it was a suggestion when you called to tell him about your little infection, and did he care? Of course not! Because he's a selfish bastard and you're to brainwashed to see it!" Hiro shouted unknowingly into his best friend's face, all the stress and confusion leaving his mouth in one burst of action. "Did he not jump right out and say he's glad you had it?! You call that love?!"  
  
"At least I love someone Hiro! Unlike you who has to keep whoring around until you find a decent relationship!"  
  
Hiro flicked the remainder of his cards at Shuichi. His eyes stone cold.  
  
"At least what I would be in IS a relationship! Both sided, not just one! What's wrong with your brain anyway, Shuichi?! Can't you let it sink in that he doesn't give two SHITS about you?! You keep running back to him, even though the end result is still the same!"  
  
Shuichi took the whole pile of playing cards and swung the deck over at Hiro, getting him good in the face.  
  
"Fuck you! Who said you needed to pay attention to my life anyway?!"  
  
In the middle of their verbal and somewhat physical fight, the phone rang, snapping both their mouths shut.  
  
Hiro picked it up; having a feeling it was either Noriko or Ayaka. It was neither. He gave a brief sigh.  
  
"Yes, this is he."  
  
"Who is it?" Shuichi questioned in a low voice.  
  
Hiro didn't answer him, just lowered his head and spoke low until the conversation ended. He clicked the power button on the cordless, but didn't hang it back up.  
  
"Who was that?" Shuichi asked.  
  
"The hospital," Hiro said in an equal tone. "They just told me they found out that Suguru was raped and I know who fucking did it!" he screamed, throwing the phone against the wall, smashing it into pieces.  
  
"That's why Noriko was being so damn quiet! Put two and two together, it makes sense!"  
  
Shuichi had never been more confused.  
  
"Hiro..."  
  
Hiro clenched his hands into his own hair and pulled it in sheer frustration. "That bastard!"  
  
"What—"  
  
"Ryuichi raped Suguru, that's why he's in the hospital, okay?!" Hiro yelled, fuming in the face.  
  
Shuichi's mouth dropped.  
  
"Now I'm going to find out why!"  
  
All Shuichi could do was follow.  
  
__________________________  
  
It took him no longer than a few seconds to get there. When he did, Noriko and Ryuichi were in the same spot together with Ryuichi's front door was pounded on.  
  
"Open up!"  
  
Ryuichi immediately flinched and started to panic. Noriko didn't even have time to calm him down, for Hiro had already busted the door open and stomped in, looking like he wanted to kill someone. He wasn't far off. He took one look at Ryuichi's shaking form and had the urge to beat him until he bled.  
  
"You...sick son of a bitch!" he screamed, yanking Ryuichi up to his feet and pinning him against the wall on the opposite side of the room. "Member of a famous band or not, that gives you NO right to rape people!" he yelled, straight in his face. His fists were so tightly clenched that they shook.  
  
"It was an accident, Hiro!" came Noriko's sobbing, frightened voice.  
  
"Accident my ass!" he shouted, slamming him back into the wall, then gripped a hold of his neck tightly, extracting loud cries from Noriko and Shuichi. Hiro was too busy being overly outraged that he had no idea of the deed he was committing.  
  
"Go ahead," Ryuichi choked, only slightly resisting, "kill me."  
  
"Hiro, stop!" Shuichi begged.  
  
Feeling somewhat defeated that he didn't relieve all his stress, Hiro punched Ryuichi straight in the gut, making him topple to his knees, clutching his stomach and making little whimpers. He spat on him.  
  
"I won't kill you, I'd rather watch you rot away in a jail cell for the rest of your life!"  
  
He flinched with anger, desperate to kick him while he was down, but yelled loudly and punched the wall instead before barging out of the home in fury.  
  
Noriko dashed down by her fallen band mate as soon as Hiro was out of sight.  
  
"I'm fine!" Ryuichi said, slowly getting to his feet and not removing his hands from his stomach.  
  
"I'm sorry Sakuma-san," Shuichi whispered, obviously not taking this as harshly as Hiro did. "He didn't have a right to do that."  
  
Ryuichi exhaled loudly, struggling to ignore the shooting pain all over his body. "No...he did. I was a stupid moron for drinking when Suguru was in my presence and knocked out at that."  
  
"How was he knocked out?" Shuichi inquired.  
  
His shoulders slowly squared. He didn't have the strength to look at any of them in the eye. "Stress. He was yelling at me, struggling to tell me it wasn't my fault that Tohma died. In which it was! I beat him over the head about not having the lyrics to sing, then there's the fact of not knowing whether it was accidental death or not. And, safe to say, my life is no longer going to be normal."  
  
Feeling horrible for his idol, Shuichi slipped his arms around his waist. Ryuichi complied. Shuichi's heart sank as his number one pop star hero sobbed on his shoulder. Shuichi didn't think of anything else, only the fact that his star was innocent. He'd fight for him, even if he did rape a minor, and his own band mate at that.  
  
"It's alright Ryuichi, let it out. I won't allow anything happen to you. I promise."  
  
__________________  
  
"That sick bastard," Hiro huffed as he paraded the lighted streets of town at night, ignoring the loud cars buzzing by him. "He had no right!"  
  
It wasn't long before his feet took him directly back to the hospital. He was more than shocked to find K and Sakano still there, and Mika as well, but that didn't change his present attitude.  
  
"Hiro?" K questioned, standing straight after leaning against the wall.  
  
"Did you hear?" Hiro asked, in a voice of more or less a growl.  
  
K nodded once.  
  
"Poor kid," chimed in Sakano, looking pitiful as ever, hanging his head low. "Who could ever do—"  
  
"Sakuma Ryuichi, that's who!" Hiro spat, looking at no one in particular, just throwing his eyes back and forth between the both of them. "I just came from his house and had a little chat with him after I put two and two together. He even admitted it! Who knows, maybe he's even the one who killed Seguchi!"  
  
Hiro pushed by them and marched straight to the back, not caring if he wasn't supposed to or not, he wanted to see his friend.  
  
His face softened as he looked through the little window on the door at Suguru. He was lying down with his eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling. It looked as though his lips were moving to one of their latest songs, but had tears running down his face at the same time. Hiro opened the door and entered. Suguru stopped moving altogether and stared at Hiro, half frightful.  
  
"Hiro...?"  
  
Suguru brushed the tears from his face quickly, pretending that they were never there.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"May I come in?" he asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.  
  
"Might as well, you're already half way in."  
  
Hiro reddened and took the seat beside him. Suguru refused to even acknowledge him.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
Suguru couldn't hold it back any longer; the sobs came into full force.  
  
"Of course I'm not okay Hiro! Use your head, I was raped!"  
  
Hiro struggled to stay calm for Suguru. He knew he wanted a friend right now and wouldn't give up on him.  
  
"Okay, I'm sorry, bad choice of words. Actually, I came here...because—"  
  
"Because you wanted to choke some information out of me, is that it?" he interrupted, staring down at his hands.  
  
Hiro stood up and moved to the bed, sitting on the side. He used the edge of his forefinger to lift up Suguru's chin. At that exact time, two tears slid evenly down his face.  
  
"Don't feel pity me, Nakano Hiroshi," he whispered.  
  
Hiro shook his head. "I think you are very strong, Suguru. One of the strongest people I know. You've made such a huge impact on my life. We couldn't have gotten this far without you. I'm sorry for neglecting you before, after Tohma's death when you really needed someone."  
  
"I just wanted to help Sakuma-san," he murmured. "He blamed my cousin's death on himself. I didn't believe it. I know they had a fight the night before, but Tohma wouldn't...he just wouldn't!"  
  
Suguru flew into Hiro, wrapping his arms around him and bawled into his chest. Hiro rested his chin on his head and rocked him gently.  
  
"Tohma was all I had left!"  
  
"That's not true, I'll never leave you," he soothed, brushing his fingers lightly through the boy's green hair.  
  
"I just want to put everything behind me...Tohma, the rape, everything. I want to start over again, but I don't want to be alone."  
  
Hiro kissed the top of his friend's head and continued to rock him. "You won't have to be. I give you my word."  
  
Suguru looked up at him. "Hiro...?"  
  
Hiro smiled small. "Let's get out of here."  
  
Hiro was able to check Suguru out of the hospital, only with the strict orders by the staff that he had to be under supervision because of the rape, and Hiro would have to change the bandages on his arms at least three times a day, otherwise they would turn some sort of brownish color and stick to the wound.  
  
It was later on in the late evening after Suguru had fallen asleep on his bed, when Hiro's cell phone rang on a low ring. He snatched it quickly and jogged into the adjacent room so he wouldn't awaken Suguru.  
  
"Yo," he greeted.  
  
"Nakano, it's K," the voice on the other line spoke in his usual not-so- with-it-at-the-moment voice.  
  
"What's up?" Hiro inquired, pacing back and forth slowly across his living room floor.  
  
"Just checking up. Tomorrow, I've requested everyone down to the studio so we could sort this mess out. This way everyone will know what everyone else knows."  
  
Hiro frowned. "K...that seems highly unnecessary."  
  
K hummed into the phone. "Nope. Besides, it'll give us a chance to get back together again."  
  
"If Ryuichi shows up, you best hold me back. I won't hesitate to kill that bastard for everything his pathetic little immature life is worth."  
  
K rolled his eyes and itched his head. "Quite right. Nakano...we'll blindfold you then."  
  
Hiro growled. "I'm serious! This is a severe case! He should go to jail for the rape of a minor! Anyone will agree. I won't rest until he goes there. No one hurts Suguru and gets away with it."  
  
K was rather disturbed by his attitude, but played along with it anyway.  
  
"My, my, from the sounds of things, activities with Fujisaki getting hot and heavy, hmm?"  
  
Hiro's eyes sprang open. "What?! I'm his friend! I'm going to stick up for him!"  
  
"Yup, yup, you say so. Get some sleep Nakano because I want your ass down at that studio at eight sharp."  
  
Before Hiro could object, the line went dead. Hiro flipped the lid down on his phone and tossed it onto the chair. He debated whether or not he should be in with Suguru or sleep on the couch that night. What if he needed him?  
  
He had begun to think about what K said about things getting hot and heavy. With Suguru? Doubtful. Or was it? Hiro stopped moving and stared at the ground, feeling all the funny sensations coursing through his body, especially at his chest. He had been so overprotective of Suguru lately, even threatened to kill the leader of Grasper without even putting in a second thought, and he wouldn't think twice about making sure he ended up in jail for it.  
  
No one else was this serious. Everyone still thought Ryuichi Sakuma was an innocent angel, even Shuichi.  
  
Hiro walked back into his room to see Suguru wide-awake and looking back at him.  
  
"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"  
  
Suguru shook his head. "No. I can't sleep. I keep thinking about Ryuichi- san. It pains me to know someone could be that confused and hurt other people in the process. I guess he misses Tohma too much."  
  
"That's no excuse!" Hiro said, lying on his bed beside Suguru. "Just give me the words and that fucker will be behind bars."  
  
Suguru sighed, brushing his finger lightly over the red comforter. "I...I don't know what I want. It wasn't his fault and I'm not holding so much of a grudge on him anymore. He loved my cousin and if he thought it was his fault he died, I wouldn't be surprised if he started hallucinating. I don't want Sakuma-san's reputation destroyed because of one little incident. It would be different if he did it intentionally. The media would be all over this like wildfire. Even Bad Luck will go down. At least Grasper may still have a chance. Hiro, if you say something, everything will be blown to hell. The world will know, everyone would turn their backs on me; it'll just be a mess. You mustn't do it...for me...okay?"  
  
It took a long while and a lot of thought, but Hiro eventually agreed to his wishes.  
  
A/n: thanks everyone for bearing through with my laziness to post lately, but don't give up on me now, because the next chapter starts a whole new ball of angst and twists, love and devotion, trust and betrayal, and much more! I've had so many reviewers in the past, where'd they all go?! *cries* Chapter 18 will be up in a few weeks or so. Please come back! ^^ 


	18. Unexpected Turns

Hiro's alarm clock went off at half past seven sharp. With a groan, he slammed a heavy hand down on the top and sat up, rubbing his exhausted face. Looking over, Suguru was still asleep, back faced him. He shook him gently on the arm.  
  
"You awake?" he asked tiredly.  
  
"I've been awake all night," Suguru mumbled resignedly, not moving an inch.  
  
"Why didn't you sleep?"  
  
Suguru faced his way and sat up. "I couldn't. Every time I would try, I kept seeing Ryuichi-san and it made my eyes snap open again."  
  
"In what way?"  
  
"I kept...seeing those eyes and how they looked at me with such ferociousness. I never thought he of all people...could love someone so much that it drove them to the point of drinking until he was completely unaware of his surroundings and actions. Knowing he mistook me for my cousin...must have meant he really did love him."  
  
Hiro smiled half, brushing the backs of his fingers softly against Suguru's cheek.  
  
"Don't worry. Everything will be okay. I promise."  
  
They both got up and dressed. Hiro had offered to make Suguru anything he wanted for breakfast, but Suguru didn't think his stomach could handle it, so refused. It was ten of before they ended up leaving the house. Normally the two were always early, but today would have to be a once in a blue moon thing. After changing Suguru's bandages, they left. Suguru threw on his blue sweatshirt so the wounds weren't visible.  
  
"I really don't want to do this, Hiro," Suguru said, getting on the motorcycle behind him.  
  
"Don't worry about it. If you feel uncomfortable in any way, we can leave," he said, donning the helmet.  
  
"Why are you being so nice to me lately? I told you I didn't need pity. I'm okay."  
  
It's not pity I feel; it's...something a lot stronger than that, he thought.  
  
Hiro revved up the engine and glanced over his shoulder to see if Suguru was ready. His hands slithered around his waist and gripped as tightly as he could without feeling the burning in his arms.  
  
"Ready?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
In just a matter of seconds, they were off.  
  
Hiro's doing everything he possibly can to make sure I'm comfortable. Why? I've never done anything to earn his comfort and kindness. All I've ever done was scream at him when he got a chord wrong or didn't keep up with my beat to a new song. One time it had gotten so bad to where we didn't speak for a whole two days.  
  
Suguru rested his head against his back and hugged close to him, taking in his body warmth. A smile crept up onto his lips. He had never felt more secure and felt stupid for what he had put Hiro through already.  
  
What is it I'm feeling? He questioned as he felt the same feeling that Hiro had the night before. A warm tingly feeling shot up his stomach and lingered in his chest.  
  
I can't be feeling for Hiro...can I? No...it's wrong...guys don't like other guys...nature doesn't work that way. But then...why do I feel like I don't care about that?  
  
He rubbed his cheek into Hiro's wine-red hair, having that sudden urge that he would give anything and do anything for him; all he had to do was ask.  
  
"Are you okay?" Hiro asked, over the wind.  
  
Suguru was so lost into his own little dream, that he took a few seconds to respond. Hiro took that delay as something being wrong and pulled over to the side of the road, bike coming to a halt.  
  
"Hiro, I said I was okay."  
  
"Are you sure?" Hiro asked, then got off his bike to look Suguru over. Suguru felt himself redden deeply as  
  
Hiro drank him in from top to bottom. He had to hide his face.  
  
"Yes...I'm sure."  
  
Hiro frowned and changed his head angle to be able to look into Suguru's eyes, but he kept them well hidden.  
  
"...Really?"  
  
Suguru nodded. His heart felt like it was on fire with a sudden ache for his fellow band mate. His body grew hot, even hotter with the burns.  
  
They were so at a loss for words to describe their feelings that they didn't hear police sirens coming at them until three cruisers were nearly on top of them from all angles. Both pairs of eyes widened at each individual car. Suguru nearly started shaking in his state.  
  
"Young man with the red hair, back away from the victim," a cop demanded, pulling himself out of the car.  
  
Hiro never budged, just glared with curiosity. "What is this all about?"  
  
The cop flashed his badge, but only for a second as he walked over to the pair. He pulled out a handheld notebook and read off the pages professionally.  
  
"We have orders to take in a...Fujisaki Suguru in for questioning. To put it bluntly, wee are lead to believe he was raped, and—"  
  
"Whoa, whoa, hold it! Who said he was raped?!" Hiro cried, hoping this sort of thing wouldn't have happened, at least not this fast. They have been so careful so far so it wouldn't have gotten to this. He had no idea who could have blown their cover. Noriko and Shuichi were fully sided with Ryuichi. Ryuichi's not stupid enough to blow his own cover, K and Sakano were made sworn not to say anything, so what the hell's going on?  
  
"We got an urgent call in from the hospital about this case. We already caught the rapist and he's already down at the station. Trial pending."  
  
Hiro's brain nearly exploded with all the knowledge that flew at him and so suddenly at that.  
  
"This can't be happening," he whispered, throwing his hands over his face.  
  
"In fact, we're going to ask you to come along too, on the account of the murder of Grasper's Seguchi Tohma."  
  
Hiro's mouth dropped and his eyes immediately burned with fear. He tried to swallow, but the knot wouldn't allow it. "W-What?"  
  
"We have reasons to believe you were an accomplice with his murder..."  
  
Grasper's Note: Yes! From here on in, is a totally different turn of events. Love, hurt, hate, betrayal, it's all there! Nice and angsty! Next chapter: 19- 'Hiro...a murderer?' come back soon! 


	19. Hiro A Murderer?

"Hiro...?" Suguru whispered, not believing what he was hearing. His own sudden infatuation was involved with the murder of his cousin! Tears nearly welled up in his eyes as just the thought alone.  
  
"No...it's not true!" Hiro protested, meeting the stare of each of the six detectives that surrounded him to be sure he wouldn't flee from the scene. Finally, his eyes stopped on Suguru with panic. "Suguru, I wouldn't have done it! You know that! I'm not that type of person! You guys have no proof! Show me proof that I'm an accomplice!"  
  
The detective hovering over him pulled out a handheld tape recorder and pressed the play button as if he was preparing to do this from the start. The voice recognized immediately on the tape was Tachi Aizawa's.  
  
//"So you're turning yourself in for the murder of Seguchi Tohma ... Aizawa- san?"  
  
"I do apologize," came Aizawa's recorded voice, sounding as clear as day. "My accomplice and I...we were having a bit too much to drink that night and Seguchi-san had given us a problem that same day..."  
  
"You say you had an accomplice...?"  
  
"That's true. Hiroshi Nakano. He supplied all the weapons used, even the gun that was tightly clenched into Mr. Seguchi's hand after he was shot in the heart and fallen to the lower platform. I'm turning myself in, because I have nothing to hide. I faced Mr. Seguchi first and threatened to kill him, but when I couldn't do it, Hiroshi knocked me out of the way after calling me fowl names and relished Mr. Seguchi begging for his life. He didn't hesitate to pull the trigger afterwards, sending Mr. Seguchi flying over the railing and screaming until he hit the bottom. Afterwards, he walked down and with such perfection and slipped the gun in his hand, making it look like an accident. It wasn't. I was there. I assure you, I had very little to do with the scene, but it was my idea. I do apologize. It was one huge mistake. I know that doesn't make up for all the hearts that are saddened by the loss and I'm willing to accept any punishment necessary and I hope the same is done to Hiroshi..."//  
  
The detective stopped the tape and shoved it back into his back pocket. Hiro was nearly crying.  
  
"Hiro...you..."  
  
Suguru's lament alerted him.  
  
"He's lying! Do you think I would have done that, Suguru?! Tachi's setting me up! I didn't do anything!"  
  
"Then if you have nothing to hide, kindly come with us."  
  
Hiro didn't move. He wanted to stay with Suguru, even if Suguru did think he was guilty. To his utter shock, he looked over just in time to see a female member of the squad talk quietly into Suguru's ear. He had no idea what she had said, but it had gotten Suguru to his feet and walking away slowly.  
  
"Suguru!" Hiro yelled. "How could you believe this?! You know what type of person Tachi is!"  
  
"Alright, that's enough," the detective with the evidence had said and slapped cuffs onto Hiro's wrists tightly. Suguru didn't seem to care the slightest as Hiro still called out after him, all the way up until he was thrown into the back of the cruiser and off to the same destination.  
  
____________________  
  
"You're the Bad Luck guitarist, aren't you? Thought I recognized you from somewhere," the detective in the passenger side had said as they drove off at proper speed to the nearest police station. Hiro had no idea what was going to be in store for him. If this got out, his reputation, and the rest of the band, was shot. He had wondered if Shuichi was down at the station too. He would stick up for him, without a doubt.  
  
"Why would you want to murder someone? It just doesn't make any sense."  
  
Hiro hung his head low. "Because I didn't murder anyone," he said in a little voice. "I wouldn't. Tohma was the president of the studio and a dear friend to us all. If Tachi had any accomplices, it wasn't me."  
  
Hiro had said this from the bottom of his heart. He foresaw now, himself in a cell the rest of his life, Shuichi and Suguru turning their backs on him, never wanting anything more to do with him...all because they believed a lowlife like Aizawa Tachi rather than the words from their friend and colleague.  
  
Shuichi's not like that, I'm sure of it. We've argued in the past, but that doesn't mean he'd disband our friendship! I refuse to believe such a thing.  
  
"Hmm...well we'll see what your friends have to say when we get there."  
  
When they had gotten there, it was no surprise to Hiro that the media was already on it. The second he was pulled out of the car, a dozen cameras at once shot pictures of him staring at the ground helpless to voice any more opinions.  
  
"Mr. Nakano, is it true that you're behind the murder of Seguchi Tohma?" a female reporter asked, running up to him while the pictures were still being taken.  
  
This can't be happening, Hiro thought. Tears formed in his eyes. I'm not here right now. Please, oh gods please, wake me up. Tell me this is just one huge sick joke and I can wake up at any point. I would never do this. Shuichi...Suguru...you mustn't believe it either. Please...no.  
  
Hiro never looked up once until he was inside the station and the door shut behind him. He was taken to a white room with no windows and a table with a single chair in the middle. The detective ordered him to sit and wait until further notice. They left, locking the door behind him. It could take minutes, maybe hours until someone came back to question him. He knew what was coming next and it worried him greatly. He was innocent! That was that!  
  
He lowered his head again and let out a single sob and a shuddering gasp, allowing a lonely tear to slide quickly down his cheek. This was it...the part where he would never see the outdoors again and wear grimy, dusty clothes and have to work forcefully without good food or hygiene. All because of a jerk like Aizawa who, for some reason, had a grudge against him. He could voice the fact that he didn't commit the crime over and over again and have a perfect alibi, but the justice system didn't work like that around here, especially to teens. As long as they saw people behind bars, they were happy.  
  
His head snapped up when the door had been open. Two detectives had entered the room, tightening Hiro's stomach.  
  
"Recognize these?" the detective that drove him here asked, tossing down various Ziploc plastic bags, each one of them having a weapon of some kind in them. Hiro answered truthfully that he had never seen them before.  
  
"That's funny, because we found them in your apartment, scattered all around the place just now."  
  
Hiro was over outraged. "What right did you have searching through my apartment?!"  
  
He had exposed a warrant. "So you admit these weapons are yours?"  
  
"No!" Hiro cried, standing up so fast that the chair was knocked over. "Someone's setting me up! Goddamn it when I tell you they aren't mine, they aren't mine! Knowing Aizawa, he waited until I left to plant those, framing me!"  
  
The detective in the corner exposed his gun as a warning for Hiro to calm down.  
  
"There's no reason to fight...your fingerprints are all over them. If you come quietly, there won't be any cause for concern."  
  
"How do you know what my fingerprints are? Tell me, I would like to know!" Hiro said straight away after he had finished his sentence.  
  
He was immediately blown off and told his rights without a fair shot. He was as good as dead.  
  
Next chapter: The Inquiry. Everyone gets together and forms a pack against Hiro's word, leaving the guitarist going solo. 


	20. The Inquiry

Suguru was taken into the room next. He was asked questions about Hiro and if he knew anything. Suguru proved to be somewhat of help by answering honestly that as far as he was concerned, Hiro was innocent. He was asked questions about the rape as well, but he had said that he wasn't pressing any charges against Ryuichi, sending him home and off the hook.  
  
Suguru sighed after that long inquisition. "Hiro would be angry if he knew I let Ryuichi walk away."  
  
Tohma wouldn't have wanted Ryuichi to suffer like that and so he had no choice. Next, the rest of his friends met him. Everyone but Hiro, which lowered whatever spirits he had left inside him. It was no surprise that he was already thrown away to spend life in some stale, low class jail cell.  
  
A tear trickled down his cheek just as Shuichi had bounced in and ran over to Suguru, hugging him.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked.  
  
"Fine."  
  
Just then, K, Sakano, Noriko, Mika, and even Ryuichi came inside the room. Ryuichi lost all eye contact with everyone and hugged his Kumagoro tightly to him. Suguru didn't look towards him either. It wasn't of hate, it was more of betrayal.  
  
"This is horrible, just horrible!" Sakano cried, running in circles. "We're finished! Bad Luck and Grasper are finished! Everything gone, just like that! I can't believe it!"  
  
Since K had to have his magnum taken away, he just merely edged his foot forward and had Sakano trip on that, shutting him up.  
  
"I can't believe Hiroshi...would kill Tohma," Mika sobbed, dabbing the corner of her eye with one of Tohma's white handkerchiefs.  
  
"What is wrong with all of you?" Shuichi growled, looking at each individual. "Hiro would never do such a thing!"  
  
"You're just saying that because you're his friend," Mika spat. "You didn't like Tohma either, you probably had something to do with it too!"  
  
Shuichi stood on his tiptoes to meet her gaze. "You think so? You think so?! You're wrong! Grasper was my idol since I was a kid, the reason I started singing! Even if we sometimes never got along, that doesn't mean I would murder him!"  
  
K grabbed him by the back of the shirt and pulled him away. "Please Shuichi, no more outbursts. Suguru, what do you think of all this?"  
  
Like expected Suguru looked away and said nothing.  
  
"Please say something," Shuichi whispered. "If you don't, Hiro's going to be going in for nothing. I don't know what he was doing that night...I wasn't around and he wasn't with me...anything's plausible, but I know for a fact if he says with a straight face that he didn't do it, then he didn't."  
  
Suguru just cried. He cried his heart out. To think he was actually starting to fall in love with Hiro and this has to happen. Was the guitarist putting on a façade to him the entire time? Was he pretending to be nice and living under a dark secret? No one would know unless they caught the accomplice. Hiro would just be another innocent man on death row.  
  
"Suguru?"  
  
"I don't know Shuichi, I don't know, okay?!" he cried, desperate to run free from the room and crash upon something nice and soft to sob the day away into.  
  
"You were with Hiro last night, did he do anything or hurt you in any way?" K asked, stepping forth.  
  
Suguru's mouth hung open. "This is Hiro we're talking about! K-san, you know him just as well as I do! He would never do such a thing to me! He checked me out of the hospital and we went back to his place. He let me sleep there, that's it."  
  
K sighed and sat down beside Suguru. He spoke in a rather unusually soft tone. "You know...it's important that you do tell us the truth."  
  
Suguru looked away hurtfully. "If he's a murderer, he was doing a great job hiding it. I don't believe it. I don't believe any of this shit! Where is he now?"  
  
Suguru looked up at the four pairs of eyes that looked him over.  
  
"I want to see Hiro."  
  
After a long pause, K nodded. "I think we can do it."  
  
Suguru wasted no time in standing and walking to the door. He walked by Ryuichi, who timidly moved away with every step Suguru took towards him.  
  
"It's okay, Ryu-kun," he said. "I'm not angry. I'm happy you loved my cousin the way you did. It wasn't your fault either about his death. They got Tachi, now some other sick bastard is on the loose out there and it's not Hiro. If I have to, I'll get them myself. Go back with Noriko and continue Grasper. I know it won't be the same, but I believe in you."  
  
Ryuichi finally met his gaze. After he saw that Suguru was smiling, he smiled weakly and soon was enveloped in a sudden hug.  
  
"Still friends?" Suguru asked.  
  
Ryuichi sobbed a positive answer, after apologizing a billion times.  
  
"Suguru you better hurry before you can't get to see Hiro."  
  
Suguru nodded and left the room in search for the one he loved. 


	21. Testimony of a Loved One

Suguru had to lie to the main guard saying he was here to choke the truth out of the accomplice. After he was let down in the musty smelling basement, he immediately got catcalls from all the other unclean males that infested the place. One even tried reaching out and grabbing Suguru, but luckily he was quick on his feet. Fortunately, Hiro wasn't that much further down. Whispering, he counted his lucky stars and stood in front of the barrier that separated him from his beloved. Hiro was sitting against the back cement wall, watching at him helplessly. The ground he sat on was wet, no doubt from water that leaks in when it rains, and they gave them no chairs or cots or anything. He would have to sleep either against the wall or on the wet ground. Suguru's heart immediately fell into his stomach, awaiting digestion.  
  
"Oh god Hiro..." Suguru whispered.  
  
"See what that prick did to me?" Hiro said in a voice no more than a whisper and not moving from his position. "He trashed my reputation, tore my trust away from my friends, and landed me in jail all in the same day, just to get back at me from that one night. I guess I took him a little too lightly. They said they'd be back to collect the reward when they told me Shuichi was in the alley. I never thought they would have the balls to do this to me!"  
  
"Hiro...I believe you."  
  
Hiro's head jerked up so fast that it nearly snapped off. "Suguru?"  
  
"I do," he whispered, contorting his face into pain and reaching inside to get him to come closer.  
  
Hiro stood up and walked over to Suguru, gripping the bars in his hands.  
  
"It doesn't matter anymore," he said, drinking Suguru's eyes in with his own, wishing he were with him back at his apartment, all by themselves. "They got me. No one believes that a teenager nowadays is innocent when it comes to murder. I wouldn't murder Tohma! I wouldn't!"  
  
Suguru brought his hand up and rested it against Hiro's left cheek. It felt so good to be touched by the hand of the person he loved most. Hiro leaned into it, extracting tears of frustration and helplessness.  
  
"I believe you," he repeated. "I'll fight for you. They're going to ask you this though, Hiro, what did you do that night?"  
  
Hiro bit his lip and tried to remember. When he did, it was as clear as day.  
  
"That day I was at the studio with you and Tohma, telling him about Shuichi's disappearance, then when I left, I ran into Tachi and the rest of them. He said he paid two guys to rape Shuichi...and then I left to find him. When I did, I brought him to the hospital. After they told me to leave, I went back home and at the same time, thanked whatever god was looking over Shuichi all this time so he would end up being okay."  
  
"But he wasn't, was he?" Suguru asked in a low voice.  
  
Hiro sniffled. "No. It turns out that he was in fact infected, but at least he was still alive. Suguru, I wouldn't kill your cousin."  
  
Just like Suguru predicted, Hiro said this with a straight face, eyes connected.  
  
"I know you didn't," he repeated again. "I trust you. I'll get you out, even if I have to break you out and become a criminal myself."  
  
Hiro cracked a small smile. "Thanks Suguru. I always knew I liked you."  
  
Suguru would have responded, but the guard said his time was up.  
  
"I'll come here later," Suguru promised, then left, without any further words.  
  
__________________  
  
"He's not guilty," Suguru told the rest of them, including the cop that was in there. "I don't believe he would do something like that. Come on, you all know Hiro! Shuichi knows it, I know it. K, Sakano, don't you guys? Sakano, remember Hiro came into the studio that day and stayed there, talking to Tohma?"  
  
Sakano nodded once, sweat pouring down his face.  
  
"Very touching Fujisaki, but we took the strict words from Aizawa and he passed the lie detector test with flying colors."  
  
Suguru felt like crying. "You still believe in those things?! People know how to bypass them, just like Tachi! Hiro's innocent!"  
  
The cop deep sighed, rolling his eyes. "We found weapons in his possession with his fingerprints AND got the word of his partner in crime."  
  
Suguru's mouth went dry.  
  
"Mr. Fujisaki...are you in a relationship with Nakano?"  
  
Suguru shook his head honestly. "No sir, I'm not."  
  
"Have you ever been in a sexual encounter with him?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Is he more than a friend?"  
  
"What does this have to do with anything?" Shuichi asked, jumping in.  
  
The officer stacked a pile of papers neatly together and placed them on the tabletop tidily.  
  
"Because it's only just that the two would stick up for one another. Get what I'm saying?" he asked, standing to his feet. "Within a few days, Mr. Nakano will go to court and the jury will decide if he's guilty or not, based on his alibi and the evidence against him. Our meeting is done."  
  
He left, leaving Suguru in a crying fit. Ignoring his second degree burnt arms; he slammed his fist sideways into the wall with a thump, enough to shatter the place to bits. He kept going over and over again until Ryuichi wrapped his arms around Suguru's small frame and hugged him close. Suguru's screaming turned into a sob in Ryuichi's chest, stunning everyone in the room.  
  
"Oh Ryu-kun, why? It's not fair! Hiro's a good person, he can't go life in prison, he can't!"  
  
K faced everyone. "Guys, he's right. I know I'm going to fight for Hiroshi. He's been a loving friend to us all. All in favor..." He raised his hand. Everyone raised their hand, except for Mika, who just simply nodded rather unwillingly.  
  
_______________________  
  
It was approaching late at night and Hiro was still behind bars. Suguru went back to Hiro's apartment, needing and wanting to be around his things. He lay upon the bed that they had shared the night before and made himself comfortable on Hiro's side, clutching his pillow in his arms, weeping with his face buried deep inside.  
  
"If only I had told him last night how I felt...I'd know for sure everything would be okay! He wouldn't give up hope and think that no one cared for him," Suguru said inside the pillow. "No one believes him. I saw the look in his eyes. He was telling the truth! Those assholes Aizawa sent to rape Shuichi were chasing him at the time. He couldn't be in two places at once!" He clenched his fist and punched it into the pillow. Hiro's aroma bounced off of it and filled his nostrils. The smell drove him wild. He wanted Hiro and the desire burned in his heart for the wine-redhead's touch. He didn't know why he was having these feelings and he no longer decided to question them. What he loved, he loved. He wasn't about to force himself to say otherwise.  
  
Turning over, his eyes went directly onto Hiro's nightstand and a photo he had never seen over here before of them both together, sitting on the grass with their legs spread out to the front and looking upwards at a camera. Suguru smiled. He remembered this. His head was against Hiro's chest, smiling and holding up two fingers in front of the camera. It was taken the same day they found out they sold the million albums.  
  
Suguru concentrated on Hiro's face as he took the picture into his hands. He looked so happy there. He didn't know if he'd ever see that face upon his fallen angel again.  
  
Lying down, he clenched the frame across his chest, holding it firmly.  
  
"Please come back to me. I love you, Hiroshi Nakano." 


	22. Trust Blown to Bits

"You're rather quiet," Eiri said, entering his living room, carrying his newspaper and a freshly brewed cup of coffee. Shuichi had not spoken a word since he had come back the night before. He had even slept on the couch, much to Eiri's astonishment.  
  
"Is it because of your friend?"  
  
Shuichi curled in a ball and nodded.  
  
"Hmm."  
  
Like Shuichi expected, Eiri took no interest in him and sat down on the opposite end of the couch, nose in the paper, which of course, was filled top to bottom, front to back with yesterday's events, even Tachi's speech on the tape recorder was written out word for word.  
  
"It's so unfair," Shuichi whispered, looking at the front page from his angle.  
  
"Of course it's unfair," Eiri muttered, reading the left first page. "What did you expect? But then again, that Aizawa guy has a good alibi and speech," he said, referring to the words from the taping. "Looks like he's in for life, but it might change because he's so honest," he concluded with a scoff. "Bullshit."  
  
"I know!" Shuichi exclaimed, strikingly surprise Eiri's taking an interest on the subject.  
  
"I wrote a short story on this once, about the matter. Something just like this. Safe to say, no one liked it much. The defendant won."  
  
Shuichi shuddered at the amount of disgust in his voice.  
  
"Yuki, why are you taking an interest in Hiro?"  
  
Eiri glared at him from the corner of his eye. "Don't get your hopes up, moron. I just dislike the system."  
  
Shuichi nodded and went back to his curled up position.  
  
Hiro balled up in the corner of the concrete wall, trying to keep warm. He could tell it was light outside, for the cracks in the wall had let the sunrise seep in. He hadn't gotten a wink of sleep that night. Either it was because there was constant yelling going on between cells, or people kept on trying to get his attention. He hadn't once forgotten about Suguru. He wished he could have told him how he felt. Who knew if he'd ever see him again.  
  
"Okay Nakano, on your feet. Let's go," the guard said, unlocking the cell. Hiro had learned already not to speak out of turn from the pain that throbbed in his head, so he kept quiet until he was asked a question of some sort.  
  
"Too bad you won't be doing any guitar playing for the next fifty years. Hopefully by then you'll still be able to hold a guitar with your hands after we get done with you," he said, smirking.  
  
He slapped cuffs on Hiro's wrists and jerked him through the cells and up a set of stairs, leading to a much cleaner section of the station.  
  
"It's not fun being here, is it?"  
  
Hiro shook his head.  
  
"What?"  
  
"No sir," Hiro muttered.  
  
"Makes you wonder why you would commit such a crime, huh? Did you think you would get away with it? Kids your age, you think you're invincible."  
  
Hiro's mind tuned out the man's harsh words and went on thinking about anything but that. He was innocent! He could say this a million times and no one would believe him. He was thrilled to know his friends were on his side, especially Suguru.  
  
He was taken to the same room he was in yesterday, only to come face to face with a man this time. The man introduced himself at Hiro's attorney. He was an older American man, slightly obese, missing bottom teeth, and wore a tight tan suit that showed every inch of his body. Hiro nearly threw up at the sight. This was the man who was supposed to be defending him? Doubtful.  
  
The guard left, leaving them two alone. Hiro sat in front of the man. He grunted as he flopped down in his chair and rolled up his sleeves, complaining of how hot it was in a room with no windows, then went onto muttering something about how teenagers were nothing but jerks who needed to be put straight. Hiro sighed. This wasn't going to be good.  
  
After he got done 'bitching', he looked to Hiro with a glare. "Listen here boy, I'm in charge, you do what I say, otherwise we lose the case. I have no problem with that. I get paid regardless if you win or not. The name is MISTER Williams," he said, emphasizing the word 'mister' for some reason. "I don't even know why I bother with you kids. You're all guilty anyway."  
  
He shuffled through some papers. Hiro lowered his head.  
  
"I'm not," he said quietly.  
  
Mr. Williams looked up at him and grunted.  
  
"I said I'm not guilty," Hiro repeated, looking up and straight into his eyes.  
  
He merely laughed it off, the fat on his face bouncing right along with him. "Yeah sure, whatever. Now, I'm SUPPOSED to be getting your alibi, but I don't have to if I feel you're guilty, in which I do, because kids your age are."  
  
"Quit stereotyping me!" Hiro screamed, stomping up to his feet. "I'm a member of a band for Christ sakes, I have a number of fans and friends to back me up! My music partner and best friend Shuichi Shindou will tell you just that, so will Suguru Fujisaki! I'm not like other trashy teenagers out there! I have a life; I have a job and my own place! Even my own method of transportation! Don't you DARE tell me otherwise!"  
  
Hiro was glad his hands were cuffed, or else his fist would be paying a visit to the jell-o bowl. He had finally flipped. He was sick of being judged with the rest of the society. He was innocent and somehow everyone was going to see that.  
  
Not right away anyway. A month had passed and there were no signs he was going to receive a fair trial or anything of the sort. He might as well just be dead. Suguru had visited him regularly on days he could. They still hadn't confessed their love for one another. Suguru had a gut feeling Hiro was going to win this case, regardless if he had hidden bloody knives dipped in Tohma's blood, or loaded weapons with no license around the apartment. Suguru believed in this. When Hiro got out, that was when he would shower him with delicious kisses and thank god he was in his arms again.  
  
Suguru had told him all about Tohma's funeral. He had said they ended up cremating him and keeping his remains in an urn for Mika. Of course, Hiro couldn't go, but he heard a live report on the TV that was a little way away in the guard's office. They didn't fail to mention his name a few times, telling the world that Hiroshi Nakano was rotting away in a jail cell along with Tachi Aizawa for his murder.  
  
After Suguru had left, Shuichi and Eiri came down to finish off the rest of Hiro's visiting time for the rest of the month. It was nice to know that they had finally sorted things out between them. Eiri let them be for a moment as Shuichi got to spend a few minutes alone with his friend.  
  
"You know how I was supposed to go back for those results to see if I had the STD or not?"  
  
Hiro nodded immediately, almost forgetting about that.  
  
"Well...I got my test results back."  
  
Hiro's eyes went wide. "And?"  
  
A large smile plastered on Shuichi's face. "It turned out to be a fraud."  
  
Hiro had a grin to match Shuichi's, finally feeling better than he had in the past month. "No way!"  
  
Shuichi nodded at rapid speed. "I found out yesterday. Let's just say, Yuki and I celebrated like jack rabbits last night!"  
  
Hiro rolled his eyes. His friend was getting lucky while he was stagnating in a jail cell. Eiri folded his arms and glared their way.  
  
"Why don't you just tell every homosexual down here so they'll want to get a stab at me too," he quipped, then had to suffer through whistling and catcalls from the other languishing males that occupied the cells.  
  
"I'm your number one fan!" one cried out, banging his fist into the bars before him.  
  
Eiri got out of sight as quickly as he possibly could, entering where Hiro and Shuichi were.  
  
"Looks like you're famous down here," Hiro said, trying to keep somewhat of a cheerful grin, although his appearance was falling apart.  
  
Eiri tried his best to put on a smile, although it only came on half way.  
  
"Not as much as you are," he countered.  
  
Hiro sighed, running his fingers through his dirty, unwashed hair. His face was smudged with dirt and other of nature's creations. His body covered with grime, filth, and the clothes given to him were very thin and ripped in certain areas.  
  
"I used to be, not anymore. They haven't let me bathe in days. They kept on saying I was "disobedient" so I had to wait another week or so to get at least a fifteen second hose down."  
  
Shuichi swallowed and studied his best friend in the face, trying to see his innocence, just like Suguru had said he had. He couldn't see it, to be honest.  
  
"What?" Hiro asked, noticing his friend's hard stare.  
  
Shuichi edged closer to him a tad. "Hiro...as your friend, I have to know. I believe Suguru and all, the boy never stops crying for a second over this, and I know Tachi is a total asshole, but...did you do it? Did you accomplice him?" he breathed, praying those beautiful eyes that belonged to his best friend in the whole world would tell him the answer he was waiting to seek so eagerly.  
  
Instead, Hiro's eyes nearly watered on the spot. He thought he had trust with his friend, but evidently he didn't.  
  
"You've been wondering this the whole time?" Hiro asked in a nearly broken voice. "You think I murdered him?"  
  
Shuichi lowered his head. "Okay, that was a bad question."  
  
"Damn right it was!" Hiro said louder. "I've been rotting away in here for the last month a broken person, but I was thankful I still had friends out there that believed my words. You didn't believe me!"  
  
"I do, Hiro. I don't know why I asked that question. I'm sorry."  
  
Hiro folded his arms and looked away. "So much for trust in this friendship. Go. I do believe your visiting time is up. Don't come back here again." 


	23. Parole Part 1 Hiro Goes Home

Shuichi hasn't been back since. Two weeks had passed and Hiro met with his 'attorney' to get the alibi, although it was just a complete and total waste of time. Hiro didn't care anymore what happened to him. Shuichi no longer trusted him, and for all he knew, Suguru could have got wind of this and started to believe him now too.  
  
Hiro had been suffering mild insomnia and very bad colds that luckily hadn't lead to ammonia. The nights that he managed to fall asleep, he had done so from wearing himself out by crying. Never in his life did he dream that something like this would happen. Bad Luck was so close to their million and a half goal for their number of albums sold. Now for all he knew, there wasn't even Bad Luck or a Nittle Grasper to speak of anymore. If people had spoke about them, it wasn't anything good. He hadn't managed to take a peek at any magazines or newspapers in the past month, but he could only imagine it being flooded from top to bottom with various lies and people looking to make a buck with untrue knowledge. It hurt him to know that there was reporters out there like that, looking only for the lies in the situations.  
  
By this time, he hadn't heard from anyone at all, even during the time allotted for visiting hours. Everyone gave up what little hope they had for him, and had a bad deep feeling that Suguru had stuck with Shuichi on this and was now lead to believe he was guilty.  
  
His cheeks were tear stained and his body was clammy. The thin clothes that had been on his back now for over a month straight were starting to wear out and rip. What he wouldn't give be at home with what very little he called his own. At least he had a bed and hot water with some fresh clothes.  
  
Hiro balled up into the corner, hugging himself to try and keep warm. It no longer bothered him to sit in the same spot, for he had gotten quite used to it. There, he would tune out the yelling between cells and think about Suguru. He had replayed their night together over and over in his head. Before he had fallen asleep that night, he watched him with his back faced towards him, hoping that he could get his feelings out somehow one of these days, without it being thrown back in his face. He still didn't know Suguru's feelings towards him. The same went for Suguru. The two were slowly drifting apart.  
  
""""""""""""""""""""""""  
  
Just as Hiro felt another cold and sore throat come his way again, he got a letter in a manila envelope, delivered by one of the guards. It was his trial papers and instructions. He breathed a sigh of relief, although he had no chance in hell getting past the evidence they found and the 'truthful' words of Tachi Aizawa, who also managed to scam his fingerprints.  
  
The trial was the very next day, but the good news was he was being released on parole for the next couple nights to get cleaned up and to look his best for that day. He was able to go home, but the outside would be under strict watch to make sure he didn't do anything funny. The phones would be taken out as well and the apartment was fully searched and evaluated before he got a chance to step foot in there.  
  
He got home just a half hour later, locking the door behind him and never more thankful to be home in his life. He had prayed that he would be staying there after this trial was over, but if not, he'd be right back where he was for the past month.  
  
Hiro's main objective was the shower. Before doing anything else, he flew into the bathroom and shut the door, while undressing at the same time. He flicked the water faucets on hot and turned the shower on, never happier to feel hot, clean water. He stepped in, grunting with deep satisfaction as the hot water cascaded down his sore back and rear. His hands massaged anywhere they could go, especially his hair. Taking the shampoo bottle, he emptied half of it into his palm and worked it greedily into his hair, scrubbing so hard that his scalp burned and nearly bled. He repeated the process a half a dozen times until the shampoo bottle was empty. Even after that, he still didn't feel as if he cleaned it enough.  
  
Next he went for the body wash. He lathered a puff and scrubbed his body until he nearly scraped off the first few layers of skin. Everything, even the events of the day after tomorrow escaped his mind as he cleaned himself.  
  
When he was finally done, he exited the shower, thinking about his friends, or what used to be his friends. He had wondered if they even knew he was here. They weren't allowed to visit, but he kept an emergency cellular phone just in case. This was as good as any time to use it. He'd do anything to hear Suguru's voice again.  
  
Towel drying his hair took a little longer than normal. He made sure to get every strand before flicking his head back and letting his now clean hair shine radiantly. Brushing it was now a snap. After wrapping a towel around his body, he ran a brush through his hair only once before setting out into his bedroom to collect clothes and suddenly feeling tired. There was not much else to do, seeing as though he couldn't have anyone visit him.  
  
To his astonishment and utter shock, the second his bedroom door was opened, his eyes feel upon the tiny frame of Suguru Fujisaki, lying right in his own bed, sleeping peacefully. Frowning, he curiously wondered how he had gotten in here, but at the same time, cared less. No one was allowed in or out of this house, starting when he came home, so no one would even know they were together. The deep feelings for the young boy had Hiro's heart going crazy. He almost hated to wake him, but his feelings were kept a secret for too long. Suguru had to know.  
  
He clad himself quietly, never happier to smell and feel fresh clothes on his back. He slowly crept into his bed beside Suguru so he wouldn't wake him. Suguru woke easily. He stirred in his sleep, moaning Hiro's name very lowly. Hiro's cheeks burned and a smile slowly eased its way onto his face.  
  
He carefully placed a hand over Suguru's arm, lightly brushing it up and down his arm, until he saw the boy's eyes flutter and open half way tiredly.  
  
"Hi," Hiro said simply, not taking his eyes off Suguru's.  
  
Suguru's eyes sprang open the rest of the way and a startled gasp escaped his throat. He jolted to a sitting position, looking Hiro over with a dropped jaw.  
  
"H-Hiro...no...it's a dream. I'm not falling for this again...but it seems so real this time."  
  
"Because I am here. It's not a dream."  
  
Without warning, Suguru thanked the heavens above and swung his arms around Hiro, nuzzling in his neck.  
  
"Thank god. Lord only knows how much I prayed for you to come back to me. I knew you would!"  
  
Hiro hugged back. He wanted to tell Suguru that it wasn't forever, but didn't want to ruin the boy's happy moment.  
  
"You never believed Shuichi then, I take it."  
  
Suguru shook his head, still buried deep into Hiro's neck. "Never. I could never. Hiro...I've done a lot of thinking, and before you leave me again, I have to tell you this."  
  
He pulled back; meeting eye to eye with the person he loved most in the world. His heart fluttered at just the sight of him. Nothing could ruin this moment.  
  
Suguru took a deep breath and tried to calm down the intense beating of his heart.  
  
"I've waited for you this long, right here in your apartment. After the swarms of cops and investigators left, I moved in here to protect your belongings."  
  
Hiro's smile widened further. "That's what you wanted to tell me?"  
  
Suguru paused before taking a deep breath and shaking his head.  
  
"What then?"  
  
"HEY!! OPEN UP!!"  
  
They were both interrupted by a knock at the door. Suguru lowered his head with what sounded like a sigh of relief coming from the part in between his lips. Hiro got up and went to his front door. He was glad to know it was just someone checking in on him and nothing more. Tonight would be the night he gave Suguru his entire love and devotion.  
  
He had appeared to forget what Suguru was going to tell him and offered to cook him something instead. They ate, talking non-stop about everything. Suguru forgot to even tell him the second thing he was going to mention, for he was just too thrilled to have Hiro back. He knew he was innocent. The huge grin was plastered on his face the entire time to the point where his cheeks hurt like crazy being pinched the way they were.  
  
Hiro had suddenly remembered that he wasn't going to be there the next day and possibly for the rest of his life. His smile instantly dissolved and all happiness drained from his face in a matter of a second. At that moment, Suguru's did as well. His eyes went wide the moment Hiro lowered his head.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked, alert. "Is the food bad? Are you going to be sick?"  
  
Suguru stood immediately. Hiro shook his head, but couldn't bear to look at him in they eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry Suguru, I should have told you."  
  
Suguru frowned with confusion. Their eyes met.  
  
"They let me out on parole until the day after tomorrow. I have to show up in court to know for sure if I'm guilty or not. If I am, then I come back home right afterwards. If I'm not, well, I'm back to the same place I was before." He lowered his head again. A single tear slid down his face. "I don't want to go back there! I was only there because no one believed me, only his word over mine! If Shuichi believed me, I would have at least one person on my side!"  
  
He balled his fist and delivered it effortlessly to the tabletop, letting loose a shuddering sob.  
  
"My entire future's gone!"  
  
Suguru leaned over and wrapped his arms around the broken teen, feeling all happiness that accumulated through his body in the past half hour. Hiro hugged him back, burying his head into his stomach.  
  
"I'm so scared, Suguru. No one believes me!"  
  
"I do," Suguru assured, hugging his head and resting his cheek in his red flames. "I win over everyone. Tohma was my cousin. I was related to him. Only my word should count. I know him better than any Grasper fan or any cop in the whole system. And I know for a fact he held no grudges and hates looking down right now and seeing this happen to you. You're innocent and I'm able to feel my cousin's presence, telling me that. Please Hiro, don't think of that right now. Don't think of anything. I'll find you a way to escape and we can go together. You won't be alone."  
  
Hiro's eyes went wide. He pulled back from Suguru, eyes full of questions.  
  
"I had a feeling this was what might have happened. I knew they wouldn't let you go so easily. They won't either. Hiro, it's better if we leave now."  
  
Hiro shook his head sadly. "They have the whole place under deep watch. It's impossible. No one gets in or out. I can't even look out the window, and you shouldn't either. I don't know how you got in here without them knowing, but don't do anything of the sort to expose yourself. It'll only get me in more trouble. They found weapons with my prints on them, "lying" all over my apartment. Surprised Tachi didn't try to turn me into some drug freak too."  
  
Suguru shuddered at the venom in his voice, but let it pass him.  
  
"I won't let you go, Hiro. I got you back here, now you're staying here. I know the truth."  
  
Hiro chuckled helplessly. "Yeah, too bad you're not on the jury. You'd be the only one that's not against me."  
  
Suguru placed his hand over Hiro's arm, heart sinking into the pit of his stomach. His breathing was minimal.  
  
"We all believe you, Hiro," he whispered, trying to prevent tears from building up in his eyes. And to think just a few minutes ago, he could have never been happier. "Shuichi, K-san, Sakano-san, we all do."  
  
"Then why didn't they talk when they had the chance?!" Hiro screamed suddenly, standing up so quickly that his chair was knocked into the wall beside him and Suguru stumbled backwards in shock. His face writhed in anger and sickness for his fellow "friends". "They don't give a shit what happens to me! As long as it's not them! Don't they get it that no one turns themselves in and blurts out that they have an accomplice! Goddamn it all!" he screamed, punching the wall behind him, shaking the apartment and killing his knuckles on contact. He pulled his hand back immediately, cussing. Tears now mixed with pain drained down his face. "Fuck it all! JUST KILL ME NOW AND GET IT OVER WITH!!" he screamed up at the ceiling. "What have I done to deserve this?!"  
  
His outbursts brought Suguru to an even shakier state and more hot tears flung from his eyes.  
  
"Hiro...please...don't do anything stupid," he whispered vulnerably, "please."  
  
Hiro delivered a kick to the wall with his foot before leaping off into his room. "Who would care if I did?!"  
  
The second he was out of sight, Suguru took in a shuddering gasp and threw his hands over his face. "What can I do? Oh Kami-sama, what can I do to show him how much I really care?"  
  
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""  
  
He found Hiro in his room, sitting Indian style on the bed and hunched over, sobbing in his hand. His heart immediately went out to him and nearly brought him back to tears himself.  
  
"Hiro...are you okay?" he asked gently.  
  
Hiro ripped his hands from his face and forced a penetrating glare over to Suguru. "No I'm not okay! Use your head! You're the smartest of the group, Suguru, must you even ask that question?!"  
  
Suguru lowered his head. "You're right, I'm sorry, It was a stupid question, but I didn't know what else to say."  
  
As much as Hiro was angered enough to put a hole in the world, he stopped to realize what he had before him and didn't want to lose that. He sighed and balled his fist tenderly. "Oh Suguru, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be like that. Not to you. It's even a miracle you're here now."  
  
Suguru swallowed and sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from Hiro and looking down at his feet. A quick spread of new emotion flew over him. It was now or never that he'd let Hiro know how he felt. Hiro needed someone and it's been put on hold long enough. Even if the outcome wasn't what he expected, at least Hiro knew.  
  
"What's wrong, Suguru?" Hiro asked.  
  
Suguru brushed his feet against one another nervously, biting his lip. He had gone over this millions of times in his head, but he just still wasn't ready.  
  
"You look lost."  
  
Suguru slowly shrugged. "I guess you can say that."  
  
"Is it what I said?"  
  
Suguru shook his head rapidly. "Oh no, Hiro, it wasn't you. It's me. I'm just a little...well...nervous."  
  
Hiro lowered his head again. "Me too. Me more than anyone. I guess all I can hope is to pull through."  
  
Suguru wagged his head. "No, that's not it. That's not what I'm...nervous about. I mean, yeah, of course, I'm nervous about that, but it's not the only reason."  
  
Hiro cocked his head to the side in question. "Then what is it? You can tell me. Is it about them finding you?"  
  
"No. It's not about the case or me being here. It's more complicated."  
  
Suguru felt as if his heart were going to spring right through his chest. He was almost certain that Hiro had heard it, but didn't say anything. He covered it, just to be safe. Hiro saw this and became more curious.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Suguru swallowed loudly. "I like someone," he blurted out, before he changed his mind and didn't say anything at all. "I have for the longest time now. Even before unexpecting consequences arose and changed his life forever."  
  
The heavy silence made him look up to Hiro. To his surprise, Hiro was completely still and his eyes were wide with shock. He couldn't tell if it was a good shock or a bad shock, so he immediately started apologizing for his actions as if he were groveling over something serious.  
  
"That person you like...is me?" Hiro questioned rather dumbly and quietly.  
  
Suguru covered his face with sheer embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that. I know you must be overly disgusted, but I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't like you as much as I do. I would have come to see you more, but I didn't want to leave here and have someone come and impound the place."  
  
As Suguru continued to babble on to cover up his actions, the wider Hiro's grin grew. Nothing could have possibly ruined this moment. Suguru was talking so much to even notice Hiro crawling his way over to the back of him on his knees. Suguru was talking about something to do with the band when Hiro's mouth crept slowly to Suguru's ear and whispered his name, telling him to be quiet. Suguru stopped abruptly and left his eyes wide and his mouth dropped. Chills scattered throughout his entire body when he felt Hiro's closeness. He flinched gently when he felt Hiro's hands travel slowly down his arms from top to bottom, then locked hands and intertwined fingers with him.  
  
"You have nothing to worry about," Hiro continued into his ear. "I've been thinking the same way."  
  
Suguru moaned slightly and closed his hands tighter around Hiro's, while his neck was being beautifully brushed up against with wet lips. He set back comfortingly into Hiro's chest, never taking his hands back.  
  
Hiro went to kissing him to just holding him close. Heat rose and scattered all throughout Suguru's body, starting from the arms and working its way down to his legs and feet. He was so deep into thought that he had no idea of his loud breathing pattern and stopped when he caught himself.  
  
"Are you scared?" Hiro asked, resting his head over Suguru's and rocking the younger boy gently.  
  
Suguru's heart fluttered at his lover's beautiful and soothed voice. At that exact moment, he knew Hiro would win the case and come home to him.  
  
"No," he said simply in a breathed whisper. "I don't ever want to leave this moment. Please Hiro, don't leave."  
  
He began to tear up again, but this time, for different reasons. His tears were of love. He loved Hiro this whole time, but never thought it could become an even larger love. He turned his head and heard Hiro's heartbeat, putting him at total ease. Every stress and stressor fled from his mind. Only the present events lingered.  
  
"If I had a choice in the matter, I'd never leave you again, Suguru. But if something does happen to me, I want you to know that I love you and I always will."  
  
Suguru's tears flowed more freely now. He tried to hold back the sobs, but they came free. Those words were so striking, especially if the other person felt the same way.  
  
"I just didn't think you would want to hear this after what happened with Ryuichi. I thought just even the presence of any male sickened you."  
  
Suguru shook his head against Hiro's face. "You could never sicken me. My feelings built up a little more and more every day, would leave when we had a fight, but came back in a plus the second afterwards, growing even stronger."  
  
He turned his face to look into Hiro's eyes.  
  
"What's wrong?" he questioned, as Suguru broke the grasp between them and turned around. Suguru was visibly breathing heavier with his lips parted slightly.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Before anything else was exchanged, Suguru took a flying leap into Hiro, pushing him down into the bed, planting hot kisses all over his face. Hiro laughed as a new side of Suguru was brought to him. Suguru straddled his hips and leaned over, continuing to kiss him. Hiro had always figured Suguru was the shy type when it came to these sorts of things.  
  
"Whoa, hold it!" Hiro said, grasping his upper arms and holding him back. A smile brushed across his face, so Suguru knew that he want angry.  
  
"What?" he asked breathlessly.  
  
Hiro's smile turned into a smirk. "I do believe that we're in the wrong positions."  
  
Suguru quickly caught on and got off Hiro. He lay on his back, stiff as a board. They changed positions in a matter of seconds. Suguru couldn't calm his breathing. His eyes have never been wider.  
  
"What happen to the Suguru a few seconds ago?" Hiro inquired with a love struck grin and stared into his lover's eyes. "You're changing right before my very eyes."  
  
"I could say the same about you," Suguru countered.  
  
Hiro narrowed his eyes as his smirk grew wider. "You probably could, couldn't you?"  
  
Suguru let free a deep moan as Hiro sucked at his neck. He arched it involuntarily, lightly balling his fists.  
  
"You're heart's beating so fast," Hiro respired, placing his hand over Suguru's chest and fingering the area lightly and lovingly.  
  
"Every beat is for you. Let me kiss you, Hiro."  
  
Hiro granted his wish and met their lips together for the first kiss ever experienced between them. Suguru was shy with going the whole way at first, but after he discovered how skilled Hiro was with his tongue, he reconsidered. Suguru prayed nothing could ruin this moment.  
  
For what seemed like only seconds later, Hiro pulled his head slowly back and gazed back into Suguru's eyes. Their noses just barely touched.  
  
"Make love to me, Hiro" Suguru whispered, but mainly came out mouthed.  
  
The room fell silent. The only sounds that were exposed were the low panting sounds, fleeing from their parted lips. Hiro lightly brushed his fingers across Suguru's cheek, but shortly after that, shook his head.  
  
Suguru's eyes instantly saddened.  
  
"Not yet. I love you Suguru and that's why I'm going to wait. I'm going to wait until after the court session is over and they send me home innocent, then it will be special."  
  
Suguru begged with his eyes. "Oh Hiro...no matter what, it will be special. As long as we're together," he said, combing his fingers through Hiro's hair slowly.  
  
"I know, but I want to wait. Right now, my head's too cluttered to even enjoy anything. I'm weak and I'm tired. Please...just wait for me. Wait just a few more days. I know you had to wait this long, and I'm sorry." He held Suguru's hands. "We'll do the works. Silk sheets, candles, rose petals, champagne, Jacuzzi, everything."  
  
Suguru chuckled, but it came out more of a sigh.  
  
"Anything for you."  
  
Hiro laughed. "Or we can do the whips and the handcuffs ordeal."  
  
Suguru's eyes sprang open, extracting another chuckle from Hiro.  
  
"Too much for you?"  
  
Suguru nodded slightly. "A little. I like the first idea better. It's love I want you to make to me, not roughhouse sex. Not yet anyway. The idea just seems too...creepy for now."  
  
Hiro smiled and planted a tender kiss fully on Suguru's soft petals, creating soft and gentle moans evading from the small and fragile boy.  
  
"You don't have to worry, I won't do that to you." He smirked. "Unless I really want it hardcore."  
  
Suguru laughed quietly. "Let's just get through the first stage before making any whips and tying to the bed types of tribulation here. Softcore for the time being."  
  
Hiro couldn't keep himself away from Suguru for long periods of time. His lips met his again, but lingered there for a few seconds before sliding off of Suguru and allowing the boy to cuddle up into him.  
  
"It won't hurt, it's merely to increase sexual appetite," he said, throwing the blankets over both of them, then snuggling up beside him, lightly brushing his hands through his hair. "Not that I speak from experience or anything like that. Ayaka-chan was a one-time thing and that was because we were both lonely. She just broke up with Eiri-san and I had a short time crush on Shuichi, which of course didn't work out because he loved Eiri- san. We were like two broken hearts trying to mend and become full again. But it didn't work out and she went back home. I didn't blame her, I didn't love her either."  
  
"Why?" Suguru asked, lying against Hiro's chest and draping a single arm over his stomach, hugging him close.  
  
"Well...one reason is because we were too far apart and she wouldn't move down here and leave her family. The second is because I still loved Shuichi. And the third, well, what really got my mind off her, was you. At first I was afraid of my bisexuality, but after awhile, I just didn't care. That's one of the main reasons my parents threw me out. Yuuji saw me kissing Shuichi and told my mom, who of course told my dad, and before I knew it, I was out of there with whatever I could carry in a single duffle bag."  
  
Suguru looked up to Hiro with concern. "How come you never told me this before? Hiro, I had no idea! I would have let you stay at my place!"  
  
Hiro chuckled. "It happened before I knew you. I moved in with Shuichi for a few days, but then got this place. I hate it. The walls are faded, the water sometimes isn't hot, the rooms constrict me, the electricity flickers in certain rooms, the toilet almost always overflows, but other than that, at least I'm away from my mom and dad."  
  
Suguru wore a look of sorrow. "Hiro, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I never knew..."  
  
Hiro draped his arm over his eyes and sighed. "It's okay. Back then, it didn't matter if you knew or not. I didn't like you at all then. You were bossy, demanding, rude, and stuck up, all because Tohma was the president and you wanted to prove yourself to him, but after a while, you started smiling and praising us. You brought strength and courage back into my life, something I never thought was possible. That's when I started developing mysterious feelings, but didn't go through with them, because I still loved Shuichi. I got to kiss him only that one time before he came back to me and told me it was a mistake. Of course, we still went on to be friends and colleagues. I crushed over Shuichi all the way up until he was released from the hospital a month ago from the rape. I tried to make him forget about Eiri-san and move on in life. I had no idea I kissed him until his eyes went round and he went ballistic on me."  
  
Suguru clamped to him tighter. "I'm sorry Hiro. I know how much that must have hurt."  
  
"Yeah. Then came Tohma's death, and the cause of me feeling more for you. Shuichi was now out of the picture, and it pained me to know that you were alone. I wanted to show you that you weren't, so I did everything I could to protect you and help you along the way. I almost killed Ryuichi when I heard about that rape," he growled clenching his fist at the thought. He still had his arm draped over his eyes, but felt a gentle touch on his fist and released the grip.  
  
"Don't worry about that Hiro. It's over. This is my life now and I couldn't be happier. I started falling in love too around the same time you did. I never crushed over you, it just turned into love on the spot. You were the only one to truly be caring about my cousin...but then after I heard that recording...I was stunned."  
  
Hiro took his arm away and looked to Suguru with wide eyes. Suguru was no longer holding him, but taking back his arms and looking away.  
  
"I just don't believe that Aizawa-san would...admit it like that all in the open if there wasn't some truth behind it," he said in a dramatically low voice.  
  
Hiro sat up, eyes wide. "You believe it?!" he asked, not in a yell, but more of a surprised and shocked whisper. "You believe an asshole like Tachi over someone who would give the world to you?!"  
  
Hiro's eyes watered as his voice slightly broke.  
  
Suguru wagged his head with closed eyes. "Please don't talk like that, Hiro. You know I love you. I'm just...confused, that's all. It's the murder of my cousin!"  
  
Hiro leaped off the bed. Suguru's eyes followed him. "I don't give a goddamn if it was your spouse!" he hollered, creating a tiny intake of air from the boy. "You're just like all the others. You're just like Shuichi and K and Noriko, Mika, everyone! They wouldn't think twice about throwing me away and apparently I just found out that you won't either!"  
  
Hiro's abrupt yelling about this fast acting subject made a small cry escape Suguru's lips and his hands cover around his ears.  
  
"I never said I didn't!" Suguru cried. "I just said it's strange! I know Aizawa-san's a jerk, Tohma talked about him all the time! I know you did no wrong; I saw it in your eyes! They were innocent, that's why I'm preparing to fight with you until the end, Hiro!"  
  
Something in Suguru's voice threw him off. He shook his head in complete disgust. To him, Suguru was just another being in his presence. All form of love and devotion, rose petals, candles, and silk sheets fled his mind in that very second. Suguru was just another barrier, stopping him from crossing the innocent line. He had no idea his feelings could be changed this fast so quickly.  
  
"The whole time," Hiro whispered. "The whole damn time you were hiding under a façade to get the truth out of me. Who sent you, Shuichi? Ryuichi? Noriko?"  
  
"No one sent me to do anything, Hiro!" Suguru cried, rising up to his knees on the bed. "I'm here of my own free will! Everything I've told you is the truth! I don't know what Shuichi's opinions are of you, but I know you're as innocent as they come! I'm sorry if I sounded possessive about the recording, but it's over and done and all this yelling and blaming won't bring my cousin back. Please...just come back into bed and continue being the only one I have left. Let me be by your side. Be by mine."  
  
Suguru showed no hesitation in letting the tears slide down his face as he waited for Hiro to make the next move. The pause that occurred between them had hurt him. Just watching Hiro's body tremble and his lips quiver was enough to tell what his next actions were.  
  
"You tricked me," he continued in the same hurt and shocked voice, only most of it was mouthed. "I loved you. I really felt love too. I had no idea you were eating out of someone's hand to choke the story out of me. Words cannot describe how hurt I am. You betrayed me."  
  
Suguru punched the area beside him and threw the most intense and heated glare that the world has ever seen. "Goddamn it Nakano, I did NOT lie to you! I didn't betray you either! I love you! I fucking love you! You're the first person I've ever loved! I would not have told you to make love to me if I didn't truly care and believe you!"  
  
Hiro's eyes quivered and more tears were released at a slow pace.  
  
"I really do...love you," Suguru continued in a much softer tone. "You have no idea how much this frightens me to know I could lose you to them...to a lie."  
  
Hiro's eyes fell to the wooden floor beneath him. "My best friend's betrayed me. The one person I expected to stand behind me the whole way. What makes me believe that you're telling the truth? How do I know that you're not one of them? I would have expected you to be the top of the hate list, because of Tohma being your cousin. I'm not about to believe, that with the amount of love you had for him, you would still stick with me over a voiced inquiry with Tachi, saying I was just as much at fault as he was in this."  
  
"Because I know how you were with Tohma. You held no grudges, and I know for a fact that he's up there now, praying for you to come out of this innocent. He brought us together like this, here and now, for the sole purpose to fight this through together. I believe in fallacy like that. Please, you must believe me. Trust me, I wouldn't be here if I didn't know for a fact you were innocent. I'm a stubborn teen, I don't waste my time "eating out of someone's hand" or taking bribes from people. I'm not that sick. I love you Hiro, and if it still means as much as it did before, I still want to spend the rest of my life with you."  
  
Another colossal pause occurred between them. Suguru could tell that Hiro was deeply thinking about it. He stood completely still now with his head lowered.  
  
"I want to trust you so very much, but I've learned from Shuichi that that doesn't always come so easy. I rotted away for a month in a musty jail cell with nothing to lay on, hardly no food, and made me permanently damaged for the rest of my life, but I was lucky to have a best friend out there who believed my every word. He didn't. He still doesn't."  
  
Hiro lowered his head and tried to hold back his emotions. Nothing in this world tore him up inside more than the betrayal and neglection. He had gotten too much of that when he was a child.  
  
Suguru moved over carefully to Hiro's side of the bed, preparing to comfort him with everything he had.  
  
"Did you know I came this close to killing myself after that, this close," he said, pinching his fingers together. "But you want to know what held me back?" He looked down to Suguru. "The fact that you never knew how I felt about you."  
  
The back of his throat became dry and salty. Suguru embraced him before he broke down again for the millionth time that night. He was over relieved when Hiro responded back.  
  
"You're not alone. I'm here. I will always be here. I love you. Never give up on me."  
  
With a promise coming straight from Hiro's mouth, the two lay down and fell asleep together, just seconds later.  
  
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A special thanks to everyone that's still reading this fic! I have up to CH26 done so far and I'm hoping to get more done and hoping to break the 200 review mark. Keep reviewing!! 


	24. Trust Only You

"He's guilty. I hope they throw the damn book at him!" Mika cried out to Eiri as they occupied the apartment of his living room. Eiri pretended not to be listening and looked away, puffing at his cigarette. Shuichi sit closely beside him, paying attention to Mika's every word, but not throwing in any of his own. "Did you know they let him out on parole for a few days? What if he escapes and goes out on a killing spree?!"  
  
Eiri rolled his eyes and let go an annoyed sigh. "Mika, I KNOW it's Seguchi's death that is bothering you, but can you kindly take it elsewhere? I'm sick of hearing about the same thing over and over again about Hiroshi and blah, blah. I can care less if he's innocent or guilty."  
  
Mika flared her feminine glare at him. "Baka! You heartless bastard! After all Tohma had done for you, took you to New York because you were being teased, and this is how you speak of him!"  
  
Eiri chuckled and lowered his head with a small smirk spread. "Did you also forget it was his fault that I was nearly raped and taken advantage of?"  
  
"It was not his fault!" Mika cried, stomping her foot in paroxysm.  
  
"I would have been just fine here in Tokyo. Those bastards that were picking on me only made me stronger as the days went on. Kept me here and I would have been crushing them all in no time."  
  
Mika bit her trembling lip and flashed her dagger eyes his way. "I can't believe you Eiri! You're not grateful for anything, are you?! You're not even grateful for the life you were given!"  
  
Eiri smiled back up at her, placing the cigarette back into his mouth. "Now I didn't say that, did I?"  
  
Mika threw a glare to Shuichi next. "Fine, be a self-raucous asshole, at least Shuichi's on my side! Right?"  
  
Shuichi had half hoped that they would leave him out of this. Eiri didn't even bother getting in with them as Mika anxiously awaited Shuichi's answer.  
  
"Shuichi knows Hiro's guilty. He even confronted him about it. He even broke the friendship with him because of it."  
  
Shuichi wasn't sure if Mika was bragging about it or if she was stating the facts.  
  
"I don't know, Mika-san," Shuichi said, lowering his head. "I don't know what I believe. Hiro's been my best friend for years and he's been nothing but a kind brother to me."  
  
"But he tried to force himself upon you a few times, right?" she asked anxiously.  
  
"He just kissed me."  
  
"See!" Mika cried out, making Shuichi flinch. "That redhead won't stop until he has exactly what he wants! I recalled Tohma coming home one night, talking about a fight they had! I'm up on that stand at his trial, I'm going to tell them just that!"  
  
Shuichi could think long and hard for the rest of his life, but never had he heard Hiro talking about a fight with Tohma. The two barely talked, let alone brawl. Shuichi was more prone to fight with him than Hiro was.  
  
Mika stormed out, slamming the door behind her.  
  
"This is all none of my business," Eiri muttered, closing his eyes.  
  
Shuichi sighed. "I don't know what to believe. I love Hiro, he's my best friend in the whole world, but I saw something in his eyes that didn't act so innocent. Hiro's eyes tell it all, but...I still can't bring myself to distrust in him fully."  
  
"You got stuck on the stand too," Eiri said, making it come out more of a statement than a question.  
  
Shuichi nodded. "Yes. You still have to come though, Yuki. Even if it is just only in the audience and you're not totally on his side, or anyone's at all. The more people Hiro had with him, the better he would be."  
  
Eiri put out his cigarette. "I'll think about it. Who knows, maybe a novel will come from this. Reworded of course, but the idea seems too good to let go."  
  
"YUUUKI!!" Shuichi whined, elbowing him. "You're using my friend's court case as a story idea?!"  
  
Shuichi scrunched his face up at Eiri, but all Eiri could do was smirk. "Oh so now you're friends? I knew your distrust would seep away soon enough."  
  
He stood up.  
  
"I don't know what to believe."  
  
"He's innocent," Eiri said, walking to the doorway leading to the hall.  
  
Shuichi's eyes went wide. He froze. "Yuki? How do you know that? I'm surprised you would say something like that."  
  
Eiri kept walking. "Don't get your hopes up, I'm just sick of you not knowing how to make up your mind. He's innocent, now let's go to bed."  
  
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""  
  
"He's never been guiltier," Ukai Noriko said as she and Ryuichi drove back to his apartment after seeing K and his wife and son, whom had traveled to Japan after hearing about the news. "K feels the same way."  
  
Ryuichi sat back into the seat and refused to vocalize anything. No doubt he was still mute from the rape, but never would admit it.  
  
"They're going to need your opinion the day after tomorrow, Ryuichi. They're getting opinions from everyone that knows Tohma and Hiro well enough to have a say in it. I know Mika's not going to let this rest. I'm not going to either. You shouldn't waste this opportunity, Sakuma-san. The words came right out of Tachi's mouth. If you don't, the accomplice is going to walk. I want him to be just as dead as Aizawa-san."  
  
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""  
  
Hiro awoke the next morning at seven sharp by a bang on his front door. With a grumble, he unclipped himself from the still sleeping Suguru and walked to the door, rubbing his face and trying to release it free of any tiredness.  
  
It turned out to be his parole officer with the morning paper.  
  
"How's everything going on here?" he asked, removing his sunglasses. "Remember, tomorrow at eight a.m. sharp is the time of your case."  
  
Hiro nodded and thanked him. He stepped back and shut the door, debating whether or not he wanted to read it. It was always the same story. Him! Throwing himself onto the couch with nothing better to do until Suguru awoke, he unrolled the paper and nearly fainted as soon as his mind registered the morning's front page. He stared at the picture with the roundest eyes possible and a sudden fall in his stomach.  
  
"Oh my god," he breathed, reading the caption over and over again. He was so fixated on the sight before him, that he didn't even notice Suguru coming out to him in the slightest.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked.  
  
Hiro yelped in shock, jumping a half a foot into the air. Suguru also flinched at his action.  
  
"Sorry," Hiro said, sighing.  
  
"What are you looking at? Is it about the case?"  
  
Hiro shook his head and once again became dumbfounded at the sight before him.  
  
"They got him."  
  
Suguru frowned. "Who?"  
  
Hiro handed Suguru the newspaper. Suguru became stuck on it as well, giving off an identical look.  
  
"Tachi," Suguru said, sitting on the couch slowly.  
  
"I guess the debate's been going on for a month and a half, ever since I was thrown away," Hiro said. "I had no idea..."  
  
Suguru read the short caption aloud: "'Aizawa Tachi, 22, was convicted of murder and sentenced to the death penalty this morning at one after midnight..."  
  
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Thank you everyone SOOOO much for reviewing the past few chapters! I honestly thought everyone had it with this fic because it's just so long and neverending. I STILL have no plans in stopping or where it will end, but please stay with me on this because to be honest, this is only the beginning. 


	25. Parole Part 2 Violation of the Rules

Suguru's face was more than disturbed. He clenched at his stomach after giving the paper back to Hiro.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"I can't believe it," Suguru said, sitting back into the couch, staring out to nothing in particular. "He was gassed..."  
  
"He deserved it," Hiro said in a mumble, reading the column beside it about him and his case tomorrow.  
  
Suguru shook his head. "No one deserves death, Hiro. I wonder how he got that sentence...before your trial. Wouldn't they need him there?"  
  
Hiro exposed the paper again to Suguru. "Looks like your parents had something to do with that one."  
  
Suguru scoffed and turned his head, refusing to look at it. "They're so stuck up, I wouldn't doubt it. They probably paid a hefty sum for his death too."  
  
Hiro hummed. "You're not far off. Listen to this: 'Seguchi-Fujisaki Ayame, and her husband, Kaori, of Tokyo, came together a few weeks back with the court systems and came to terms with the unfairness of the system. They demanded Aizawa-san to be put to a violent death and waved a threat into the room if it wasn't made. They had gotten their wishes and writhed with bliss as their inclination came true just early this morning.'"  
  
Suguru's face twisted in disgust. "That's revolting. The areas they stretch to get what they want, even if it's just their own nephew. I hate it. That's why I packed up and left."  
  
"That's why you're here," Hiro said, looking away from the paper.  
  
Suguru nodded. "That, and because I wanted to keep things safe for you. Maybe now though without the voice of Aizawa, you might have a chance. I'll do all I can, although no doubt that my parents will be there to throw in their little opinion."  
  
Hiro rolled his eyes. "Correct again. Says they'll be present during the court trial to be sure I follow Tachi." He paused and sighed. "To get the law to change itself, and have Aizawa sentenced to death before even his own trial, is pretty exciting. I guess though seeing as he already admitted to it, he was definitely in for life as it is. Bastard tried bringing me down with him. Bet Mr. And Mrs. Fujisaki will be banging on my door by this afternoon, demanding I join him," he said sarcastically.  
  
Suguru exhaled quickly and angrily. "They do it and I'll put them where THEY belong. My mother didn't even...the last time she talked to Tohma was...oh I can't even remember, it's been so long. We had a party in Grasper's honor before they split up three years ago; I think that was the last time. I could be wrong though. She's always on the phone one way or another with someone."  
  
"Party for Grasper three years ago," Hiro repeated in a murmur and chuckled. "Shuichi would have killed to go to that. Knowing him, he'd spend the entire time yelling at them, begging for them not to break up."  
  
"My mom thought the opposite," Suguru said, playing with his fingers. "She didn't like Tohma in a band, being famous and everything. For some reason, she just flat out doesn't like music. She tried to get me to stop. When I was a kid growing up, Tohma taught me day and night how to play the keyboard. I was so stubborn that I wouldn't stop until I got it right. He liked that in me and would grant my wishes." He paused to shake his head. "Mom didn't like it. Not one bit. She threatened Tohma. I don't know what she said though, but it didn't faze him one bit. He would just merely wink at me and continue the very next day when no one was home. We were very close. Then when I was eight, he got married to Mika-san and stopped coming around. Just days later, he joined last in Grasper, just like I did to Bad Luck. I saw him fewer and fewer. I only just recently got to see him more now that he pulled a few strings and wanted to bring Bad Luck to the top." Suguru sighed, and then remembered a few heartwarming events with Tohma, which wasn't much to get him into a teary state. "I was attached to him so much to the point where it just killed me inside. That's why I was sensitive to you after I heard the recording and I went with that cop separately to the station, and distanced myself from you. It's not that I believed his words, I was just torn up."  
  
"It's alright," Hiro whispered, touching Suguru's shoulder lightly. "At least now I know the reason why and I'm sorry for overreacting last night too. I know he was your cousin, but I...had no idea you felt that close to him."  
  
"And after my parents find out I'm with their worst enemy...I don't know what I'm going to do. If they can send Aizawa to his death, they can do the same to you."  
  
Breaking out into a full sob, Suguru flung his arms around Hiro and sobbed on his shoulder. "I never thought it would be like this. I always thought I had the perfect life, go to work, come home, sleep, to go school, I wouldn't have it any other way! Now that I've fallen in love...everything's changing!"  
  
"You don't have to stay with me if it has this much of an impact on your life, Suguru," Hiro said comfortingly, rubbing his back.  
  
"Oh Christ Hiro, I'd do anything for you. Give me a command, an order, anything. Anything you want and I'll do it."  
  
Hiro smiled and hugged him tighter. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to, Suguru. I won't make you do a thing. I'm just a little scared I might lose you now. From what I read, your parents look as if they're trying to find you and will do anything to track you down here. I thought you said they knew you were gone when you moved in here?"  
  
Suguru shook his head. "No, they don't know where I am. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but we were fighting about Tohma and I had to get out of there. It just hurt me too much."  
  
Hiro kissed his cheek lightly and brushed his fingers through his moss colored hair.  
  
"It's okay. I understand. I'm not angry. I love you very much, Suguru, I'm glad if anything that you came here to get away from those sorts of stressors. Will you still be there for me tomorrow?"  
  
"Of course, Hiro. I don't care what my parents say. I'm sixteen; I can take care of myself now." He separated himself from Hiro and looked nervously into his eyes. "Just...don't tell them about Ryuichi, okay? They'll be on me for weeks about that if they hear about it, and they won't let him rest either. I've known Sakuma-san for years now and I know very well that it was an accident. Me going home and freaking out in the shower was a different story. Everything just attacked me in all angles and I felt so powerless."  
  
Hiro sighed and shook his head. "Okay, that's enough. No more talking about these sorts of things, okay? I just want to be able to spend this last day with you, before I end up getting thrown back into the slammer," he said, taking Suguru's hands. "The same place, doing the same things, nothing will change."  
  
"You'll win, Hiro," Suguru said. "I believe it. Even if you have a million people in there that all say you're guilty, there will still be one person guaranteed to say you're not."  
  
Hiro swallowed hard. "Yeah, but what about the weapons with my prints on them?! Suguru, I don't OWN any weapons! I don't even have a pocket knife for Christ sake!"  
  
Suguru ran his hand as comfortingly as he could down Hiro's arm. "I believe you. Just...let this go from your mind right now. The trial, the case, the hearing, everything, and go take a hot bath and I'll make something for breakfast, okay?"  
  
It took a lot of courage for that one simple nod to come from Hiro, but he did it to make Suguru happy. Suguru gave him a reassuring tap on the shoulder before standing. Hiro watched him walk away in a T-shirt that was two sizes too big and smiled small.  
  
"Suguru."  
  
Suguru stopped and looked over his shoulder.  
  
"Thank you...for everything. You have no idea how much it means to me."  
  
Suguru nodded and smiled, before continuing onto the kitchen.  
  
""""""""""""""""""""""""  
  
Hiro turned off the water faucets after a sufficient amount of water filled up the tub. He stripped down to nothing and entered. Luckily he was able to get hot water this morning. People in the upper levels of the apartment usually took it all before he had a chance to get at it.  
  
He leaned back against the bath pillow that was shaped like a seashell and closed his eyes, draping his arm over the side of the tub. Not once did the thoughts of the trial and the rest of his life leave his head. Now that Suguru's parents were in on this, no way would he walk. He put his hands over his face and murmured to himself softly anything that would come to his mind: the trial, the death sentence, Suguru's parents, Shuichi's distrust, although this was mostly on Shuichi's behalf. He had wondered what Shuichi was doing at this time, but then groaned when he acquired mental images that were so terribly upsetting. His "best friend" was sleeping in a warm bed beside his lover without a care in the world. He involuntarily cringed at this. If it were the Shuichi he knew, he'd be all over this, even to the point where he'd push away the cops that stood outside his front door and all around his apartment in order to come in, not resting until he did. He'd be running in circles, trying to figure out what was going on.  
  
"Some friend," Hiro mumbled, closing his eyes and trying to enjoy the bath. As far as he knew, he was on his own. His lawyer wasn't much help. His only hope was Suguru, but was even hesitant about that thought, because of his parents being there. He couldn't just completely disobey them like that.  
  
"Seguchi-san, I'm sorry it had to be carried out like this," he whispered into the steamed up room at nothing in particular. "We've had our disagreements, rarely I might add, but lord knows I'm not crazy enough to accomplice Aizawa in doing the dumbest thing imaginable. He had my best friend raped, a couple times actually. I hope you can see what's going on and possibly cut me some slack here. I'm in love with Suguru and I want to spent my entire life with him, but I can't do that if I'm falsely accused of something I didn't do. I need a hint, a sign, something that points me in the direction of a way out."  
  
"""""""""""""""""  
  
"Where the hell is he?!" Ayame Fujisaki yelled out into the opened bedroom that belonged to Suguru back home. "The last time I saw him was a month ago! He's only sixteen, he can't come and go as he pleases!"  
  
Kaori, who had just awoken, scratched his head tiredly, fingers ruffling through his messy blonde hair.  
  
"Yes, koi," he said, in the middle of a yawn.  
  
Ayame pivoted to him quickly, blue haired locks whirling in her face. "You're not worried?!"  
  
Kaori shrugged. "Oh of course, but not as much as you are. It's obvious that Tohma's death caused him to leave and get his thoughts together. He's requested to show up at that accomplice's trial tomorrow, right? If he doesn't show, he gets thrown away. I think if he's smart enough, he'll show."  
  
Ayame's hazel eyes quivered. "He doesn't even know he has to go! We got his papers in the mail, saying they requested his presence!"  
  
Kaori just merely shrugged it off once more. "As far as I'm concerned, it'll teach him a lesson."  
  
Ayame stiffened up. "You know what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna call everyone he knows. He has a huge address book; he's bound to go somewhere! When I find him, he won't even know what hit him!"  
  
Kaori placed both hands on his wife's shoulders and massaged softly. "You worry too much. Take it easy. Do deep breaths and calm down. I know the idea of the accomplice walking is what gets on your nerves. Don't worry, the second we get there and hear every one of Hiroshi's friend's words, that's when we get a stab at it. He'll end up like Aizawa, cold and buried in no time."  
  
Ayame's face beamed. "I heard no one's on Hiroshi's side any longer. Maybe we should have kept that Aizawa guy around for a little while longer, at least until tomorrow afternoon."  
  
Kaori massaged her shoulders from behind. "It's okay. We already got his word on tape. The jury will hear it and expose the evidence and even after that, I'd just love to see him walk. He's never going to see the outside again. Your brother would be proud for what good you're doing to his son."  
  
Ayame nodded, arching into the massage. "Oh Kaori, I just can't wait any longer. I'm so excited! By this time tomorrow, Nakano Hiroshi will be dead."  
  
"""""""""""""""""""""""""  
  
Hiro towel-dried his hair before reaching for his clothes. He slid on the same thing he wore when he awoke and grabbed his brush. He had been nothing but stressed out in the past month. He needed a big time stress reliever, anything to make him feel as if his head was in a different world. He had thought of taking it to the next level with Suguru, but also wanted something to look forward to when he got home tomorrow afternoon.  
  
He had just finished brushing his hair when a knock on the door startled him.  
  
"Get a grip, Nakano!" he mouthed to himself.  
  
"It's ready, Hiro," came Suguru's voice, just loud enough for him to hear.  
  
Hiro acknowledged it and got himself together before exiting. The moment he turned towards the kitchen, a pair of hands covered his eyes from behind. It made him flinch, but it wasn't noticeable.  
  
He chuckled and put his own hands to the captive's elbows. "What's this all about?"  
  
"I want you to be surprised," Suguru said, walking with him to the kitchen.  
  
"Surprised? What kind of food do I have in the house anyway?"  
  
He stepped down the single step to get to the kitchen and sat in the all too familiar chair.  
  
"Can I look now?"  
  
"Nope," came his reply.  
  
Hiro's grin wouldn't leave his face. One hand left his eyes to fumble with something on the table, but then both were removed. Hiro's eyes rounded. Before him was a table set for a Thanksgiving Day feast, coming included with candles and the works. On his plate, lay just about any breakfast item conceivable, with a homemade blueberry muffin on the side.  
  
"Suguru...how'd you do all this in time?" he questioned, picking up the muffin.  
  
Suguru chuckled. "I didn't make all of it. I froze most of it, with the lack of nothing better to do while I was alone here. I was planning this since last week."  
  
Hiro looked up with a questionable expression as Suguru took a seat in front of him. "Oh? And what would you have done if I didn't get out?"  
  
Suguru didn't lose his smile. "I would have kept it frozen. Frozen food doesn't go bad, you know," he informed, digging into his own masterpiece. "My mom froze the top of her wedding cake in the freezer and had it a year later on her anniversary. As long as you keep it sealed, it won't go bad."  
  
Hiro smiled. "My, you learn something new everyday, don't ya?"  
  
The two ate in anything but silence. They went from laughter to sadness, sadness to laughter. Suguru struggled to keep tomorrow's events free from Hiro's head as best as he could, but sometimes he couldn't avoid it and Hiro would pause and look downward at his half eaten plate of food for a second or two until he felt up to eating again.  
  
"What would you do...if I really did accomplice him?" he asked in a low voice, looking up. He expected to see a look of dead shock on the boy's face, but saw the wag of his head instead.  
  
"I know that's not true, Hiro."  
  
"But what if it was?"  
  
Hiro watched Suguru take another bite before wiping his mouth and meeting his eyes back to him. "Hiro, last night you were yelling and making it quite clear that you aren't a part of this, and now you're asking me what I would do if you were?"  
  
Hiro's face reddened as he looked downwards. "I'm just making conversation," he said.  
  
"You know what I'd do?" Suguru asked, placing down his napkin. Hiro looked back up to him, watching him get up. "As much as it would hurt me...because my cousin's blood would be on your hands..."  
  
Hiro's throat tightened as he got closer, right to the point where he was standing in front of him. He kicked himself mentally for asking such a dumb question.  
  
"It wouldn't matter because I've fallen in love with you to the point where nothing could break me away."  
  
Just as Hiro looked up, Suguru's mouth crashed down on top of his and straddled his lap. There wasn't much room between Hiro and the table, but Suguru was pleased to be squished in the middle between the both. He had to fasten himself to Hiro to be at least a half an inch from the table. Hiro greeted every hard and passionate kiss with just as much eager force.  
  
"I love you so much," Suguru whispered into his mouth, brushing his fingers through his damp hair. Hiro moaned when he felt Suguru's hardness jutting into his stomach and his heart beating loudly against his.  
  
"I can't wait any longer. I don't care about the candles and the silk sheets," his voice rasped. "I don't care about the handcuffs and the whips. All I want is you, here and now."  
  
Suguru's raspy talking made Hiro's body betray him, despite his wishes to wait. Suddenly, everything escaped his mind: the trial, Shuichi, everything that he wanted to forget and prayed he would. The only thing he was conscious to was the beautiful boy in front of him.  
  
Hiro ran his hands down Suguru's back and kept going lower and lower until his hands reached their goal. Suguru let loose a tiny groan as Hiro's talented hands worked lovingly around his lower backside, trying to find the end of the long gray T-shirt. He smiled mentally when his hand touched Suguru's bare skin, signaling he wasn't wearing any underwear.  
  
Suguru continued to kiss him as just Hiro's fingertips dipped inside his ambition, running smoothly and extracting a surprised gasp from Suguru's mouth. He squirmed on Hiro's lap, obviously trying to give him better access. He let out a surprised gasp of his own when Suguru moved over his growing erection. Suguru grew red in the face and paused to look at Hiro.  
  
"What's wrong?" Hiro questioned, worried at his sudden actions.  
  
Suguru hesitated before speaking. "Well...I've never...I'm scared..."  
  
Hiro stared back into the hazel eyes of his lover. "There is nothing to be scared about. I wanted to wait, but if I never come back, I'll give you something to remember me by."  
  
"You'll make it, Hiro," Suguru whispered, meeting their lips together again, softly. "I have faith in it."  
  
When Hiro wasn't kissing him back, Suguru's eyes opened back up with questions waiting to be answered. They did all the talking.  
  
"I'm sorry," Hiro said with a sigh, rubbing his face with a single hand. "I can't do this now."  
  
All tomorrows' events started gathering in his head again at multiple speeds that couldn't be slowed down. The brief bliss of disperses he had hoped would never come to an end.  
  
"You...you're disgusted...aren't you?" Suguru said, half hurt and half whispered.  
  
Before Hiro could find words to say that weren't so trite, Suguru scurried off of him and started clearing the table.  
  
"Suguru..."  
  
"Don't even say it, Hiro, I understand totally," he said, not even looking at him and sniffling as he hurried to clear the table, as if he were being timed. "I make a complete fool of myself, telling you I loved you, and you don't want anything more to do with me. I cook, I cleaned this dump, picked up all your crap, and I still don't even get a 'thank you'."  
  
"You're so full of shit!" Hiro lashed out suddenly, surprising himself, but let it pass.  
  
Suguru thought the same and continued to move back and forth at an unnecessary pace.  
  
"Did I not thank you before I took that bath this morning?!"  
  
Suguru threw the last bit of plates and silverware into the sink and spun around to face him. "Oh is that was it was? Strange, to me it seemed more of a 'thanks for being my servant, continue to do so' deal."  
  
Hiro clenched his fist and delivered it to the adjacent wall, eyes flaring at the boy. "I don't know what the hell happened to you in just the past minute, but I don't have to sit there and take this shit! First of all, I NEVER asked you to come here and pick up after me, second, I'm going to be sentenced to death tomorrow afternoon and this is how you treat your last day with me?!"  
  
Suguru shot back an identical look. Not knowing where this sudden rage of hatred suddenly built up inside him, but he wasn't about to fight it. Both sides agreed with each other and fought together to fight back with Hiro. "What do I care what they do to you? You murdered my cousin," he shot, narrowing his eyes. "I might as well just join the bandwagon and stop lying to myself."  
  
There was only one way in and out of the kitchen, and that was through the doorway that Hiro was standing in.  
  
"I did not murder your cousin," Hiro hissed hatefully through clenched teeth. "You're just pissed off because I won't fuck you and turn you into the little whore that you are!"  
  
Suguru stepped forth, rage building up within him and getting stronger and stronger and the love for him getting further and further away.  
  
"I'm the whore?!" he cried. "Look at you! Sleeping with Usami Ayaka-chan, just because Shuichi wouldn't give you the time of day! Unlike you, I've never even had my first kiss until yesterday, and I'm sorry to say I wasted it on a street rat!"  
  
Hiro pointed to himself. "Street rat? Excuse me if I don't live under the roof of mommy and daddy 'I get everything I want, plus millions more!' I never said you had to come here! And if I remember correctly, it was YOU who kissed ME! Don't be throwing this back in my face! YOU wanted me to make love to you! None of this is my fault! I never forced you to come here!"  
  
"You're right. And now I don't have to stay, now do I? I'm not the one being spied on. I'm free to go all I want!"  
  
Hiro refused to move out of the way and purposely stretched out in the doorframe when he learned Suguru wanted to leave the room. Suguru wasn't in the mood to be playing games. So far with feeling of being taken advantage of, to right down to not being wanted enough, he stepped out of his own state of mind and approached Hiro, brushing him aside with all the strength he could gather for the time being, so he could get whatever things together he had there and leave. As he was stepping towards the bedroom, he cried out in shock as he was hurled back and thrown to the wall, pinned by his shoulders. He winced at the amount of pressure that held him, nearly crushing his shoulders. Hiro had an out of body experience as well as he pinned his love to the wall, pupil swallowing up his whole eye in indignation. His hands flinched, almost as if he wanted to strike him, making Suguru flinch as well, involuntarily trying to flee his groundbreaking grasp.  
  
"Let go of me! I'm leaving! I never want to see you again!"  
  
Something in Suguru's voice brought Hiro to the edge. Without even thinking twice, his fist collided with Suguru's angelic face, making a loud and never forgetting sound, that made part of him come back to earth.  
  
Suguru's head throbbed on contact as he let out a squeal of distress, but mostly of surprise. He straightened his head up, covering his quickly swelling cheek.  
  
"Go ahead! Do it again! Be what everyone assumes you are, you murderer!" he screamed.  
  
The sound of his voice penetrated Hiro's brain and his grip immediately was taken off the boy. The second he could move, Suguru ran to the bathroom and slammed the door shut, but not after he could make it clear that he hated him. Hiro unclenched his fists and watched as the whitened part of his knuckles regained blood flow. His hands shook, slowly at first, but as many tears and whispered questions to himself, his hands shook faster. He suddenly had a hate for himself, a hate that he never felt until a couple seconds ago, during his outer body experience. He had hurt the love of his life, over something irrationally absurd and dreadfully stupid.  
  
Suguru's sobs could be heard as clear as day from the bathroom. As the tears flowed down Hiro's face, he debated whether or not he wanted to try and start apologizing at this very second. At this moment, nothing else seemed to matter, once again. His only strength was now scarred for life, by his own maddened temper and swift fist.  
  
After apologizing left his head and five minutes of standing in the doorway had passed, he cleaned up the rest of the breakfast that was so hard to make, but had to end in this sort of way. He blew out the candles on the table and put them away. Feeling bad, he ate the rest of his breakfast and washed the rest of the plates and dried them.  
  
Fifteen minutes later he was through and it just touched twelve. There was still no movement inside the bathroom. Heaving a sigh, Hiro went into the living room, trying to think of something to do. He wanted to let Suguru be, so he wouldn't be even angrier with him.  
  
He picked up his neglected guitar from the arm of the couch and pressed it to him, feeling the need to hear music and believe as if he were with Bad Luck again, needing to feel anything but tomorrow coming his way. Strumming lightly, he found his fingers working to Anti-Nostalgic, for a number of reasons, but mostly because he felt alone and needed someone. Normally he would leave the singing up to Shuichi, but when it came down to it, he also sung very well.  
  
He first started off with a low hum as his gifted fingers graced along the strings professionally. As soon as he reached the chorus, his voice took over, low and painfully. It didn't take long for tears to well up in his eyes, but continued to play and let loose his emotions. He put one leg up on the couch, resting the guitar on his knee, looking downwards and closing his eyes.  
  
Suguru crept to the bathroom door when he heard the song being played, and opened it. Hiro's back was faced towards him, so he felt it was safe to venture out, but very quietly. A fresh batch of tears came to his eyes as well when he felt Hiro's passion scratch through the song like daggers on ice. He knew Hiro tried to cover up the scars on his heart by playing a song that understood him, something that no one did.  
  
When the song was through, he played the final strum, then paused for a few seconds, letting the guitar fall to the ground. Suguru's eyes went wide. He watched with a torn heart as Hiro threw both hands over his face and sobbed so hard, that it could have been mistaken for a scream. This wasn't right, and he knew it. He was innocent without a second thought. The more he cried, the more his head throbbed.  
  
Suguru hesitated when he stepped a few feet closer to him. He was the main reason that Hiro was practically suicidal.  
  
Hiro was in the middle of sobbing with no words coming from his mouth, when Suguru dropped to the ground behind him and snaked his arms around his waist, clamping tightly and resting his head on his shoulder.  
  
"Please don't say those things, Hiro," Suguru sobbed, joining in with him. "I know it's my fault, it's always my fault. I've already apologized for so many things since this incident happened and I'm feeling as if everything's slipping away even faster."  
  
Hiro felt his shoulder soak to the bone with tears.  
  
"I hate fighting, Suguru," he whispered. "I hate fighting with the only thing I got to my name right now. If you want to leave, I understand. I won't stop you. My life is so fucked up right now; it's better if you don't get attached anymore than you are already. This has by now destroyed me, I don't want you to be destroyed too!"  
  
Suguru never stopped crying.  
  
""""""""""""""""""  
  
Hours passed and it just seemed like time was going by faster and faster for the both of them. Of course, they ended up patching things up between them and got along better than ever. There wasn't a minute that went by that Suguru didn't let Hiro know how much he loved him and promised that he'd stand by him, no matter what.  
  
It was quickly approaching midnight and Hiro was flipping through the stations on his TV. He couldn't sleep at all. Suguru had fallen asleep moments ago, head on his lap. His fingers slowly waved through Suguru's hair, calming him to the point of falling straight to sleep, despite his promise to stay up with Hiro all night. Tomorrow was going to be a big day and he needed all the rest he could get.  
  
Hiro sighed and turned off the TV, placing the remote down and scooping Suguru into his arms carefully as he stood up. Suguru didn't awaken, just quietly stirred.  
  
"Why do you want to get mixed in with all this?" Hiro whispered, as he walked the only few feet it took him to get to his room. "I'll never understand. Tohma's your cousin. You should hate me more than anyone else in the world. You were so close to him."  
  
Tears built up and fell from Hiro's eyes as he set his lover onto the opposite side of the bed, then got onto the opposite side, covering them both up. This was his last night by Suguru's side for what might be the rest of his life.  
  
"I would still never hate you," came Suguru's whisper voice as Hiro snuggled up beside him.  
  
Hiro smiled to himself, shutting his eyes and sharing body heat with Suguru, when he had thought he heard a door knock. Being half in and half out of it, he wasn't sure if it was in his dreams, or if it was really a knock. His eyes opened slowly to a dark room, awaking to a loud pound on his front door, hours later. It seemed to have alerted Suguru as well.  
  
"What's going on?" Suguru asked groggily, rubbing his eyes.  
  
"I have no damn idea. They aren't supposed to come this late!"  
  
Hiro told Suguru to stay hidden, while he went to check it out. He brushed all tiredness from his face and fumbled with the locks on his door.  
  
"Open up this door faster Nakano Hiroshi or I'll get you in even more trouble!"  
  
The loud voice belonged to a woman. Evidently Hiro wasn't going fast enough for her.  
  
"What's the problem?" Hiro asked, in a bit of a growl, as the door was opened. There, stood a woman with blue hair, a man with blond, and a few cops surrounding them.  
  
"Nakano, you mind if we come in and take a look around?" the lead officer asked.  
  
Hiro's heart jumped up into his throat, and his eyes went slightly wide, but tried not to release any information by body language.  
  
"What's this all about?" Hiro questioned.  
  
The only woman was in a crying mess, sobbing into the shoulder of what Hiro believed was her husband.  
  
"We have reason to believe that you're holding Fujisaki Suguru here, against the parole rules and against his will. 


	26. Gather for the Trial

"There has to be some mistake..." Hiro breathed, eyes widened to everyone that stood before him.  
  
"There's no mistake!!" cried the woman. "You killed my nephew and now you kidnapped my son for ransom, so you could bribe your innocence!"  
  
"I would do no such thing!" Hiro yelled back.  
  
"Then you wouldn't object to us taking a look around."  
  
Hiro's body grew weak with fear. Surely they would find Suguru now and just add an extra life threatening sentence onto Hiro. He sighed and moved reluctantly to the side and allowed the rushing couple inside, yelling out for their son at two in the morning, inside the small apartment.  
  
They dipped into his room, causing a silent yelp from Hiro, but when they came out empty-handed, he let off a frown. Ayame's screams were now developing into sobs. The young, beautiful woman, was now on the verge of faint.  
  
"He's here, I just know it! The kid with the pink hair said so!" she squealed in hysterics, throwing her face into her husband's shoulder. The man that looked a lot like Eiri, hugged her with a single arm, while speaking to the officers words that Hiro couldn't hear. Where was Suguru? Hiro knew that Suguru had heard his parents at the door, and by the way he spoke about them earlier, he wouldn't go back with them if his life depended on it.  
  
Before Hiro could try and think about where Suguru might have hidden, an officer on night duty that watched the apartment, pulled the resisting young boy by the arm, through the front door. Hiro's eyes bugged. Suguru had tried to use the only way out he could think of, and that was to crawl through the window above the bed to get out and not get Hiro into trouble.  
  
"Suguru!" Ayame cried out, even before the cop could even announce that he had been found. As Ayame ran over to collect her son, as if he were a five year old getting out of his first day of kindergarten, Suguru slipped out of the now tender grip of the cop and bounded over to Hiro, hugging him tightly, laying his head on his shoulder and whispering how sorry he was.  
  
"Suguru!" Ayame cried out again, only this time, it was in dumbfounded, pure shock.  
  
"Son, you're going to have to come with us."  
  
Suguru never budged. He loved Hiro's warm embrace more than anything else. He didn't want to go back to where Hiro wasn't going to be.  
  
"Go Suguru," Hiro said in a low voice, causing the teary filled eyes to look up at him. "I don't want you to get into trouble. I'll be okay. I promise."  
  
Just then, and caring less what everyone else had thought, Suguru swung his arms around the back of Hiro's neck, pulling him into a kiss. A kiss that made his father's eyes shoot out, his mom scream, and Hiro wish he hadn't done that.  
  
"Oh my god!!" Ayame cried, shielding her face. "My son's a—"  
  
"A what, mom?" Suguru asked, venom in his voice, looking back at him. "A fag? A fruit? A disgrace?"  
  
Ayame was too shocked to move. She just stood there like she had seen a ghost.  
  
"I don't care what you think of me. Like I've said before to Hiro, if anyone should be upset about this whole incident, it's me. I was closer to Tohma than you ever were, mom! All you ever did was yell at him for being a musician! I believe Hiro when he tells me he didn't do anything wrong! Why to know why, mom?!" he asked loudly, narrowing his eyes at her. Ayame prayed he wasn't about to say what she thought he was.  
  
"Because I love him with all my heart!"  
  
Ayame fainted, falling straight to the floor in a swoon-like sound. The cops attended to her, while Kaori no doubt, came over to collect Suguru.  
  
"Come on, son," he said, putting his arm around Suguru and using his free hand to brush his beautiful blond locks of hair out of his face. Hiro was slightly stunned that he looked so much like Eiri. He turned his head back to Hiro and glared his eyes.  
  
"I'll see you in court tomorrow, Nakano."  
  
With one last desperate facial plea thrown back at Hiro, Suguru mouthed the words 'I love you', just before his father ushered him out.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Shuichi rose the next morning before Eiri, like usual. Even on the day of the trial, Eiri refused to get up early.  
  
Shuichi ruffled his hair tiredly and yawned, walking to the front door to get the mail and paper. Normally he hadn't been too fond of reading the morning paper, it was usually Eiri's job, but lately the headlines about the trial have been catching his eye.  
  
Unrolling the paper, his eyes set on the headline title and rounded wider than they ever had before. He quickly scanned through the article, lips moving silently with random words he skimmed by. His hands trembled. Unknowingly at first, but then he caught himself and breathed heavier instead.  
  
"What you whining about now, brat?" Eiri grumbled, obviously not too excited about today.  
  
"YUUUUUKI! That's not funny!" he cried. "Hiro's being charged with kidnapping on the side, AND stachatory rape!"  
  
Eiri's head wrenched around to meet Shuichi, eye to eye, but kept his mouth shut.  
  
"As if things aren't bad enough for him, he's got to mess up one day before his trial!" Shuichi cried, trying to read it more thoroughly.  
  
"I didn't know he was like that," Eiri said after a pause, lighting his morning cigarette. "Who's the chick?"  
  
"It's not a chick," he informed. "It's my band member, Fujisaki."  
  
Just then, Eiri seemed to have taken a greater interest in just that one sentence than he has the entire time this had been going on. He nearly choked on nothing and spat his cigarette from his mouth. "What?! Let me see that!" he growled, ripping it free from Shuichi's hand and mumbling it aloud.  
  
"'Nakano Hiroshi will have one more charge against him at the Tokyo courthouse this morning. Nakano Hiroshi-san was taken last night from his home approximately two a.m., after finding the missing person, Fujisaki Suguru, hiding just outside his bedroom window. Fujisaki is assumed to be scared to tell the truth and remains convinced that Nakano is innocent. We believe that he has been raped, then brainwashed with a clear threat that if he said one word about this, Nakano would hurt, or possibly kill him.'"  
  
Eiri threw the paper to the ground, too sickened to continue reading it.  
  
"Taking a little sixteen year old boy and threatening him. Sickening. Complete disgrace."  
  
Shuichi followed him with a frown. "You don't actually believe Hiro would do that, do you?"  
  
"What do you think?" Eiri murmured, reaching inside the fridge for something to drink. "I'm not making a fuss out of this for my health. Of course he did it. His last romp in the sack for the rest of his life, so he's taking it out on an innocent band mate."  
  
Shuichi punched him in the shoulder. "Hiro would never do that to Suguru! The last I knew, they actually started getting close."  
  
Eiri grunted and left the kitchen to go back to his study.  
  
"Do you really think that he could be behind this?" Shuichi asked again, following Eiri. "Hey! We have to leave soon! Don't get comfortable!"  
  
Eiri shot him a glare, freezing Shuichi on the spot. "I don't care if your friend raped your band member, and I don't CARE about the court order in general! I'm not going."  
  
Shuichi's mouth dropped as Eiri sat in his leather chair and turned on his computer.  
  
"BUT YUUUUK—"  
  
"I said I'm not going!" Eiri shouted, donning his glasses and narrowing his beautiful cat like eyes. "I don't care whether your friend lives or dies today. One less thing I have to hear about."  
  
Shuichi's eyes flew wide in shock. "How could you say that?!"  
  
Eiri started typing swiftly, not looking back at Shuichi. "Easy. I just did. Get out."  
  
Shuichi should be used to this by now. Every moment of his life, Eiri has done nothing but forced him out of his. As used to it as he should be, he still felt the urge to barge out of the room and cry his heart out, even now he felt it, but he wasn't. He planted his feet firmly to the ground and stood up to him. Eiri continued to ignore him and type, but found out that he was easily distracted. He ripped his glasses off his face with a sigh and tossed them on the table in front of him, then throwing both hands over his face. "Shuichi, get the hell out of here. Go to the trial. I don't know Hiroshi and I never will. I'm not feeling good, I just want to be left alone."  
  
Shuichi didn't know if he was hearing things or not, but it sure sounded like he heard Eiri gasp into his hands. His back rose and fell as a more and more rapid speed.  
  
It didn't take a genius to realize that strong Yuki Eiri was reduced to tears. As shocked as Shuichi was, a frown displayed over his face as well. He slowly crept over to his lover and placed his hand over his head timidly and gently.  
  
"Please don't make me go," Eiri sobbed into his hands, making Shuichi tempted to jump backwards with shock. "It's too hard. Too many memories."  
  
Shuichi had wondered what he was talking about. Too many memories of what? What could possibly be so bad as to bring Eiri down to tears like this?  
  
"This isn't about Hiro or Fujisaki...is it?" he asked coyly.  
  
"Baka!" Eiri shot, eyeing him through teary filled eyes. "I could care less about your idiotic friend!"  
  
Watching Eiri break down into tears made Shuichi start up as well. Everything was such a mess.  
  
"Is it Seguchi-san?"  
  
The way Eiri hid his face showed Shuichi that that's what was bothering him. Shuichi was puzzled. Every time Tohma showed his face around Eiri, he'd throw a fit and kick him out, but not before calling him a number of hurtful names. He never admitted it, but Tohma was always hurt after leaving his apartment, especially the last visit.  
  
"He came to me...the night he died, asking for you," Eiri sobbed, tears streaming clearly and easily down his face. "I told him to leave, as I always did. I wanted him to see that I didn't need him anymore! Why couldn't he just leave me alone?!?!" he wailed. "Then maybe I wouldn't be feeling this way!"  
  
He gathered up all the negative energy inside him and shoved his desk over onto its side without hesitation, ending in a huge crash. "Damn him to hell!"  
  
He threw himself out of the room, leaving Shuichi frozen and startled. He heard the front door slam, signaling that Eiri had left. Shuichi's eyes weren't taken off the mess that now lay on the floor. His heart skipped beats in fear. He had seen Eiri angry, but never this angry.  
  
"Oh Yuki..." Shuichi whispered under his breath, breathing a little heavier than normal. "You loved him..."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"We have to leave in a half hour, Ryu-chan," Noriko said, flattening her dress with her hand, taking out what little creases they gathered by walking. She wore her hair back in a single ponytail, and wearing almost no makeup. She didn't feel in the mood to try and impress people today. With all the crying that would follow, mascara wasn't the best idea either.  
  
Ryuichi got ready slower than anyone Noriko had ever seen. He was just now buttoning up his white dress shirt, and grabbing the tie. He was a totally different person now. Noriko didn't pretend to not know why. He was still stuck on what had happened to Suguru. It was only natural he'd still feel this way. The world lost their two-year-old parody. Kumagoro was receiving less and less attention as well. Noriko had just about almost gotten help for Ryuichi. Her hand was on the phone, but changed her mind at the last second. She had hoped he would get out of his heavy withdrawal by the time the trial had come, but he was still the same way he had been for the past month and a half.  
  
"Need help with that?" Noriko asked, watching his fingers shake just slightly as he tried to tie the bowtie. Normally he was very good at this sort of thing. At Grasper reunions, he used to go around, retying all the men's bowties, saying they did them wrong, then spend the rest of the time, going after liquor drinks that contained cherries. Of course, he shared them with Kumagoro too. Now the poor neglected bunny just sits in the same place it has for the past month. Ryuichi said it was his punishment. He didn't deserve his Kumagoro anymore. His most precious possession, down for the count.  
  
"No," Ryuichi said, nearly mouthed.  
  
Noriko approached her friend, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Look, it's going to be okay, Ryu-kun. Hiroshi will not live to see tomorrow. Aizawa's already taken care of. How, I don't know, but he has. They have all the evidence they need to prove that Hiro's going down too. Tohma's death will be avenged."  
  
"Will killing Hiroshi prove that?" the ex child parody questioned quietly, gazing downwards.  
  
Noriko hesitated not. She nodded. "It will."  
  
"Tohma wouldn't want anyone to die. If anyone, he'd want me to die. I hurt him, and I hurt his cousin."  
  
Noriko hugged him from behind, ignoring her wrinkling dress. "Don't worry, I'm sure Tohma's not holding any grudges."  
  
She was alert when Ryuichi started sniffling.  
  
"I don't think I should go. I know I was called in, but I couldn't do it."  
  
The lead singer of Nittle Grasper was falling apart at the seams. Noriko brushed his single tear away with the tip of her finger.  
  
"You loved Tohma-san, didn't you, Ryu-chan?" she asked, in a voice in nothing above a whisper.  
  
All Ryuichi could do was give off a single nod, rubbing his face.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"Start explaining!" Ayame cried into her son's face. They wanted to confront him yesterday, but Kaori insisted it was too late in the evening to start bombarding him with questions. Suguru, decked out in a black suit and tie, trying to look his best to save the man he loved, was forced to sit in a chair and suffer a mother's annoying cry of desperation. "You're sixteen years old! You can't be in a relationship! Especially a relationship with a MAN! A man that killed your cousin nonetheless! What's wrong with you?!" she squealed loudly.  
  
Suguru just folded his arms and looked away, tuning her out as best as he possibly could.  
  
"He kidnapped and brainwashed you, didn't he?! Just like that headline said!"  
  
Suguru sighed impatiently. This whole thing was starting to get very sickening and absurd.  
  
"You still believe the headlines, mother?" he muttered. "You know all they're good for is shooting off things people want to hear. Nakano is not guilty, and I'm going to say just that."  
  
Ayame stood straight up, putting her hands to her hips. "Is that so?! Do you really think your one positive out of a thousand negatives is really going to change things?"  
  
Suguru had remembered what he had said before. As long as Hiro had just one out of a million, that's all he was satisfied with. Even if it wasn't enough to save his life, at least Suguru believed him.  
  
"If your father and I can put that Aizawa to his death and go against the rules, we can have this 'Hiro' lover of yours be brought to death too!"  
  
Suguru struggled not to cry. He kept his eyes open and head off to the side the whole time, but couldn't help but gather a trembling lip and welled up tears in his eyes. He bit his lip, sucking back his emotions.  
  
"I still don't know why you care," Suguru said, unable to stop a single tear from falling. "You never accepted Tohma because of what he was and what he did. You never loved him like I did. You just enjoy watching pain in other people!" he shot, glaring at his mother.  
  
Ayame shot her head back and widened her hazel eyes.  
  
"You don't care about me, you don't care about Tohma, you just want Hiroshi to die because it makes you pleased knowing people that make me happy are out of my life!!"  
  
Suguru's head snapped to the side as Ayame's stinging slap struck her son's face.  
  
"You will not speak to me that way! I am your mother! So what if I hate all musicians?! The less there are, the better this world is! Aizawa's death pleased me, and so will Nakano's! Then maybe it'll teach you not to defy me and give up the horrid piece of noise you call a talent!"  
  
As Ayame stormed off, a horrible sensation coursed through Suguru's veins. His eyes went wide as he rushed to the nearest phone to call Shuichi.  
  
Shuichi had picked up after three rings. It was no surprise to Suguru that it sounded like he had been crying all night.  
  
"Shindou-san, it's me!" Suguru said in a whisper-yell, keeping a lookout for his parents. "Listen, I have something you should know about Hiro."  
  
"Yes, we already know he's got a kidnapping charge against him," Shuichi said, sniffling back tears.  
  
"No! He didn't kidnap me, I went of my own free will, but that's not the point! I know who killed Tohma, and it wasn't Hiro."  
  
Shuichi sighed. "Fujisaki..."  
  
"Listen to me Shindou!" he said, just a little bit too loud. "An innocent man is going on trial today, and without your help, he's dead! Everyone's voicing against him! You're supposed to be his best friend! I'm warning you now Shindou, if you don't protect him, just as he protected you all these years, I will personally kill you with my own two hands. I love Hiro and I will not have him dead this afternoon, do you hear me?!"  
  
It was silent on Shuichi's end for the longest time.  
  
"Shindou-san?"  
  
Suguru's heart jumped up in his throat when a hand touched his shoulder. He spun around, dropping the cordless on the floor.  
  
"Father...?" he breathed, throwing his hand to his chest. "Don't scare me like that."  
  
The handsome blonde threw his arm around his son's shoulders and pulled him into a hug, no questions asked. The two were always close.  
  
"You don't believe Hiro kidnapped me, do you? He would never. Why are you hugging me? I'm a disgrace."  
  
"No you're not, son. Your mother is just...going through a difficult time. She had no intentions of speaking to you like that. And I know what your phone call was about."  
  
Suguru met his eyes with his father's.  
  
"Do you really think your mother could have killed her own nephew?" he asked, straight-faced.  
  
Suguru's eyes went wide. Kaori tapped his shoulder.  
  
"Well..."  
  
"Regardless of her rather obscene hatred for music, I assure you, with my own words, she had nothing to do with this." 


	27. The Trial parts 1 and 2: Final Verdict

A/N: Please everyone, have mercy on me with this chapter. I know nothing at all whatsoever about the law or court procedures, only from what I've seen on TV and whatnot, so bear with me on this. And yes, it is also a little rushed too. I didn't intend on it, but this it, what everyone's been waiting for. I think you will be most pleased with what the jury decided for Hiro. Review please! -hands out enough manga and pocky to go around-

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
  
Suguru was used to dressing up this way. He tugged at his collar and tried his hardest not to look at the back of Hiro's head at the front of the room. A heated discussion was going on between his parents. Their voices outmatched everyone else in the chattering room. Ayame was in hysterics and Kaori was struggling to calm her down. Suguru shook his head in disgust. They were overreacting by far.  
  
If it were up to Suguru, he'd be the first to shout out to the world that his beloved was innocent. This was so terribly uncalled for. Even with Aizawa's words, the weapons with the prints, all the evidence found in Hiro's apartment, Suguru believed a million times over he was still innocent. Until it came from Hiro's own mouth, nothing could change his mind.  
  
Over at the other side of the room sat Shuichi and a teary streak faced Eiri. Comforting him, Shuichi didn't know what to believe, unlike Suguru. Even though he and Hiro had been best friends for a long while now, Shuichi still believed evidence over word and quite possibly nothing could change his word.  
  
In stepped Noriko with a slouching Ryuichi slowly walking behind her. They took their seats in the front, opposite side of Hiro, not missing a chance to throw in a glare at the helpless redhead. It was also no surprise that Noriko had quickly taken a liking to Suguru's parents, and discussed the matter with them. Feeling as if everything pummeled to the pit of his stomach, Suguru felt the sudden urge to get as far away from his parents as possible. The entire first row behind Hiro was empty, which was another no surprise. Knowing he still had a few extra minutes, and ignoring the short and watchful crowd, he hurried over to the front row and whispered out his beloved's name. Hiro didn't turn. Suguru was almost certain he had heard him, and said it a little louder. Hiro's shoulders slumped, his black fitted tuxedo becoming looser at the top.  
  
"Get out of here kid," Hiro's oversized attorney spat in a voice anything but soft, getting the attention of the room.  
  
Suguru felt as if tons of eyes laid on him, making him even more nervous than at a concert, but the feeling soon melted as he took notice of Hiro's shoulders slightly quivering, bringing tears to his own eyes.  
  
Reaching out his hand to emptiness, Suguru called for his love once more.  
  
"I believe you Hiro. I will always believe you."  
  
Hiro's shoulders froze.  
  
"SECURITY!" bellowed the attorney, standing up with the support of the table.  
  
Suguru's face fell deep with worry, but that didn't stop him from being strong.  
  
Hiro looked over his shoulder, preparing to send Suguru off, but realized that without the voice, heart, and love of that boy, he was truly alone.  
  
Suguru melted. Hiro's face streaked with dried tears, and freshly brewed ones.  
  
Their eyes met for the longest time, before Suguru mouthed the words "I love you", and then was dragged back to his parents, leaving Hiro alone again.  
  
Hiro's head became dizzy, but only lasted for a few seconds before his attorney made it across to him how worthless he was, and immediately following that, the judge appeared out of nowhere, taking his seat in the front. The jury filed out through the side door, taking their seats. Suguru didn't witness any of this, but knew it was about to start when everyone got quiet.  
  
Hiro stayed strong, only for Suguru, even though he felt mostly betrayed by Shuichi and if anything was eating at him right now, it was that. There was no chance in hell he could get out of this one. Aizawa had set him up really good.  
  
Suguru flinched when the gavel was struck, signaling it was to start.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
It felt like hours have passed and no progress was made. Hiro stood up at the front table the whole time, only to be laughed at, spat on, shoved, and cursed at deeply. Everyone who was involved with Tohma's death in one way or another had a say in this case. Mika and Noriko were the toughest of them all. No one in the room had seen Mika more worked up about this and Noriko was all hate.  
  
Shuichi wasn't much help, because he refused to do much talking. Suguru's parents took a stab at it and threw an immediate death sentence on him. They would get their way and they knew it, they would just have to be patient for it. Ryuichi felt himself get sick and left. Eiri refused to step foot to the front, and even Tohma's grief stricken parents gave it a shot up at the stand.  
  
Evidence was provided; all the stories told by the testifiers came together. It was finally time to decide.  
  
Suddenly, in the midst of all the chatter and thought, Suguru stood. All eyes sat on him.  
  
"If I may, I believe I haven't voiced my statement yet."  
  
Ayame's hand covered her own mouth, Kaori's eyes widened, Noriko's eyes went narrow, and Shuichi looked in the middle of sad and disturbed. Either one would be appropriate for him.  
  
"There will be no need for that, your honor," Hiro's attorney said, throwing his papers back into his briefcase and needing the back of the chair to stand. "I do believe we are finished here."  
  
"Mr. Williams I do believe it's the rules of the procedure that we include all who are a part of Mr. Seguchi. Come forth, young man."  
  
Ayame gasped as Suguru slowly let himself closer and closer to the front of the room. This was it. He would have to make a difference, or else there will be nothing left of Hiro.  
  
Suguru's hands went numb, quickly followed by his legs. Luckily he was able to sit; otherwise he would have been one with the floor. Taking a deep breath, he spoke under oath then awaited the questions. He took a lingering glance at Hiro, who was also looking back at him. Hiro knew Suguru's voice wouldn't make much of a difference. He was doomed.  
  
The man who was assigned to question Suguru came forth.  
  
"What is your name young man and how were you associated with Seguchi Tohma?"  
  
Suguru answered truthfully each one of those questions, including his age.  
  
"You seem to be the only one here who doesn't think Hiroshi should be thrown away for life, even though all the evidence proves against him and all the voices in this room are as well. Please tell me why that is," the man said, folding his hands behind his back and looking curiously at Suguru, obviously very surprised Hiro would have a defender.  
  
Suguru looked up at the group of well-known faces, bravely and unafraid of his next words.  
  
"Because I do believe that he is innocent. This was a sick and disgusting act of a very immature and jealous man. I so happen to know that the night my cousin was killed, Hiroshi went off to look for Shuichi because he had been missing for a few days. I do believe it's humanly impossible to be in two places at once. And was he not with you when you woke up in the morning, towering over your bedside, Shindou-san? And shortly after that, at the estimated time of my cousin's murder, was he not at your home, Yuki Eiri-san, yelling at you for being so irresponsible?"  
  
"OBJECTION!" shouted Hiro's attorney, obviously taking the side of everyone else in the room that voted against Hiro.  
  
The judge held out his hand to shut the fat man up and nodded his head at Suguru to keep going.  
  
"It is possible that he could have been so angry with the fact that his best friend at the time was damaged and possibly dead that he needed to take out his anger on someone else besides Yuki Eiri. What better way to do that than an old fashion murder?" Suguru's questioner asked.  
  
"Because Hiro's not like that and anyone who would be willing to listen would know that!" Suguru cried out. "Wake up everyone, especially you Shindou! You know very well Hiro's not a murderer! How DARE you believe Aizawa over him?! I stayed with Hiro while he was on his probation period to prepare for this trial. While I was there, I was just like the rest of you. I didn't believe him. But you know what? I listened to him! I listened to him and I realized he is truly the man I thought he was. Hiro's kind and understanding, and if half of you would give him the chance, you'd see what I see. Aizawa came in and planted those guns in Hiro's apartment, copying his fingerprints from one object to the other by heat and if you investigated those thoroughly you would have noticed them being backwards!"  
  
The crowd was hushed. Suguru's parents turned blue in the face, followed by Shuichi and Noriko.  
  
"And how may I ask do you know this, Fujisaki-san?" came the curiosity of his questioner.  
  
Suguru sat back in his seat stiffly. "I don't. All I'm saying is to recheck them. I believe Hiro would never do anything to harm anyone."  
  
"Fujisaki, those weapons have been scanned and rescanned by laser technology. The prints are as clear as day."  
  
Suguru was lost. There was nothing he could do to save his lover now. His fists clenched involuntarily. There had to have been SOMETHING he was missing. Something that could save Hiro's life.  
  
"Shuichi..." Suguru said in a soft voice. "Do you remember that time when you first met Hiro at lunch in middle school? He offered to give you lunch money because you forgot yours, and you said "no thanks, I don't take money from science nerds"?"  
  
Shuichi remembered this as if it were yesterday and answered truthfully.  
  
"Did you have any idea that you would befriend him and start a band? A band that you look a deep liking to and even hesitated on letting me join? Your bond with Hiro must have been strong to start a fight over it. Do you really want to let go of that? Do you?" he asked; voice getting low and cutting out. "Bad Luck meant so much to you, as well as it did to me. I wanted to surpass my cousin, but that's not the only reason I joined. I joined because I took a liking to you both and the deep relationship you both shared, but then there was a different reason for me being there."  
  
Suguru and Hiro exchanged glances. Hiro knew exactly what he was going to say next and begged him mentally to keep it to himself. Shuichi also seemed to know what he was going to say and had the same expression.  
  
"I fell in love with the guitarist of the band," he said, still looking in Hiro's direction. As much as Hiro felt joy that someone loved him, he knew that he was also accumulating more hate than before.  
  
"I stayed with him for the past few days and told him to remain strong, because everything will work out. Now, until you match up the bullet that was found in my cousin's chest with one of the guns that were found in Hiro's apartment, he's not going anywhere."  
  
Hiro's attorney chuckled. "Foolish child. It's been done. You're wasting your breath. It's a perfect match."  
  
Suguru was defeated. He had no other thoughts.  
  
"The gun," Shuichi said, standing to his feet, the crowd gasping. "Aizawa handled the gun that night, according to his words and the newspaper clipping. Even if it were Hiro's gun and you found it in Hiro's apartment, wouldn't Aizawa's fingerprints be on it as well?"  
  
Suguru had no idea what finally made Shuichi speak up, but his eyes nearly watered with happiness. Heavy discussion went through with the jury as well as the audience.  
  
"And as far as the knives go..." Shuichi said, walking down the isle and into the front of the room. "If you would have happened to do any DNA testing on them, the blood type is mine from when those perverts that raped me decided to create a red herring for this case. I even have the scar to prove it still."  
  
Hiro's face lit up. Shuichi looked back and joined in with him. It was another thanks to Suguru who made this all possible. Before the two knew it, they met arm in arm, saying their apologies.  
  
Hiro had never been happier. Whatever spirit he had within him, grew to a maximum. There was nothing in this world stronger than a best friend bond.  
  
"Thank you Shindou-san, this is all very touching, but that still doesn't explain how Hiroshi got a hold of a gun. If you remember, his fingerprints were on it too."  
  
Hiro let out a sigh as he straightened back up again, starting to remember where he was and all the glee fleeing from his mind. "I touched them. They were in my drawer and I just freaked out and tossed it back in, trying to forget about it. It was obviously wiped clean, so Aizawa's fingerprints weren't seen. That is the honest truth, your honor. I don't care what happens to me now, just so as long as I have my best friend back and my lover, at least I know I wasn't alone."  
  
Shuichi was instructed to go back and take his place, followed by Suguru. They said all they could and all they knew. The rest was up to the jury and every guest in the audience.  
  
Mika's speech was legend, along with Ken and Ma, who couldn't have been more nervous about all this. For once, they were actually clueless, but would be the prime targets if all signs haven't pointed to Hiro.  
  
"Tachi was our best friend," Ma stated. "Without him, it just isn't the same. We don't know why he did this, or what drove him to do it, but it's done and over with and I'm sure he's living with his guilt now."  
  
Hiro's attorney stood, using the table as support. "If you two were his best friends, why wouldn't he include you on this?"  
  
Ken shrugged. "I don't know. It was the first time he hadn't. we were so close and it looks like we'll never find out."  
  
Suguru narrowed his eyes. He suspected those two out of everyone. It all fit. Shuichi toped the charts and Tohma made that all possible for them, giving them maximum exposure. Tachi was jealous of that, and so should his band mates, so they decide to go on a rampage and destroy him.  
  
"It was them, your honor!" Suguru shouted, standing up and not believing he hadn't thought of this before. Ken and Ma's eyes went wide, along with everyone else's. "It's them and I'm sure of it! They are Tachi's right hand men! They would do anything for him, including killing off their boss!"  
  
There was a small discussion among the crowd, and even got the questioner curious. Everyone knew about ASK being a very tight band and being the best of friends.  
  
Ken wore a frown, while Ma looked worried.  
  
"I assure you we had nothing to do with this," Ma said honestly.  
  
"You lie!" Suguru cried.  
  
"Please sit down or remove yourself from my court room," the judge ordered, obviously not taking any interest in what the boy was saying.  
  
"You're embarrassing us!" Ayame hissed, pulling her son down by the arm.  
  
Feeling fury, and powerless to do anything about it, Suguru flopped back down and continued to listen to their lies.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
It wasn't long before they all had come up with a verdict. Hiro's heart stopped, Shuichi's followed, and Suguru held his breath. He had made an honest promise with himself that even if Hiro were found guilty, he would break him out of jail and run away with him, starting a life somewhere else. Either that or join him in death.  
  
A piece of parchment was handed to the judge, who read it over twice.  
  
"Nakano Hiroshi, the jury's vote is unanimous," he started, not taking his eyes off the paper. "We the jury find that you are guilty as charged..."


	28. Unlikely Allies

Hiro let out a large sigh, followed by a few quick forming tears as he looked up at the ceiling with his eyes closed. Suguru reacted quickly and jumped out of his chair, running over to Hiro, mentally preparing to wrap his arms around Hiro and run away with him, but before he could do anything else, the crowd broke out, shouting anything that came to their minds as two police officers came out of hiding and pulled Hiro with them, cuffing him at the same time. Hiro tried to block out the screams of hate, but some were said by the voices that he had hoped that would never stoop that low. Mika was the leader of the pack, and even managed to strike in a few physical hits to him as he was dragged by. Suguru pushed everyone out of his mind and made the room appear in slow motion. No one was talking. Everything was serene. Hiro was slowly leaving him. Slowly and unwillingly. The redheaded boy looked back at him, as to ask for help. Not help to break free, but help to be the one to still believe in him. Hiro didn't want to take any chances on Shuichi. For all anyone knew, he would change his mind again once the jury nominated Hiro guilty.   
  
Even though slow motion played in Suguru's head, Hiro would still eventually have to leave out that back door. Unable to stand the room so vacant without his beloved, Suguru left the room in a blinding flash of light, fleeing out of the horrid place that would shut Hiro up forever.   
  
Ignoring the calls from his parents, and the watchful eyes of other guests, he continued on. Feet loudly meeting the waxed and shiny floor, tears finding their way out of his eyes, there was nothing in this world that could stop him...except for a loud yell of his name only from a certain someone.   
  
His steps came to a halt as the pink haired pop star ran to meet up with him.   
  
"He didn't even struggle!" Suguru cried, sinking into Shuichi's arms. "He just willingly went back there without a fight! He didn't do it! I know he didn't!"   
  
"Because he knows he won't progress if he struggles. I've known Hiro long enough to know that. He'll fight harder, but not vocally."   
  
"He's going to be sentenced to death Shindou! And it's partly all your fault for not believing him!"   
  
Shuichi's eyes went wide. "MY fault? Why is it just MY fault? What about everyone else?"   
  
"Everyone else isn't Hiro's best friend!" Suguru said, narrowing his eyes. "You hurt him more than anyone else in that room, I hope you're happy!"   
  
Shuichi was speechless.   
  
"What about all those rehearsals? All those school classes and lunches together? What about when I joined the group? You were mad about that, weren't you? But you stuck with it, because you knew what he meant to you! And if my words aren't getting through your thick skull, then you can just get away from us and go curl up in your little romantic lifestyle with Yuki Eiri!" he spat, spinning on his feet, then preparing to go out back to see if he could see Hiro for at least a few minutes.   
  
"Fujisaki!" Shuichi called after him, but Suguru didn't dare turn around. Shuichi did what he done and now that would remain forever etched in stone.   
  
Suguru didn't look back as he fled down the empty hallway with the dead hopes of seeing his love. Shuichi followed close behind, unknowingly.   
  
Hiro would be thrown away until tomorrow, and then sentenced to death, joining Aizawa.   
  
Suguru was too late; they had already left. Stifling a sob, Suguru turned and sought out comfort to the nearest person he could find, and that was unknowingly Ma-kun. Ma, who was just as upset about this as he was, allowed this source of comfort.   
  
"Suguru!"   
  
Ken and Ma looked over in the direction of Shuichi's voice quickly, also allowing Suguru to notice who he was seeking comfort in the arms of. When he met eye to eye with the blue-eyed man, he immediately went in for the struggle to be released. Before he sought out the comfort, all he noticed was the blond hair and thought it might have been K or maybe even Eiri.   
  
"Murderer!" Suguru screamed, demanding release.   
  
Ma-kun refused to let him leave his grasp. "We have never sided with Tachi on anything! Especially something this drastic! Stop this!"   
  
"Let him go," Shuichi said, coming out of the shadows.   
  
Ma-kun did so.   
  
"We all need to calm down here. Throughout the past few weeks, we've been nothing but nervous wrecks. And yes Suguru, so was I. I know Hiro didn't do it, but I also know Ken and Ma had nothing to do with it either. We need to stick together to bring Hiro out."   
  
"He's going to be sentenced to death tomorrow!" Suguru cried.   
  
Shuichi nodded. "And if I have to, I'll break him out. Ken and Ma, you owe us. On behalf of Tachi's behavior in the past, you owe this to Hiro."   
  
The two nodded slightly in agreement.   
  
"We all owe Hiro. We're the only ones who believe he's innocent. Ken and Ma, has he ever said anything to you at all about this?"   
  
The two truthfully shook their heads. "Nothing at all. After he told Hiro about kidnapping Shuichi, nothing else happened. Nothing could lead up to why he would kill Tohma like that. If you ask me, something had to have happened on Tohma's side as well. Someone was angry with Tohma enough to accomplice Tachi."   
  
"But...who would be angry enough to do that?" Ken asked.   
  
Ma shook his head. "Don't know, but what I do know is that it's someone from NG that we know and are close to..."   
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
  
"This is so unfair," Suguru whispered as they headed back to NG to look at the employees list in Tohma's office to see and remember who may have had a grudge on Tohma. "I know it's not Hiro."   
  
"It doesn't look like anyone around here held a grudge on him. There was Tachi, but that's already taken care of."   
  
Suddenly, Shuichi stood up to his feet at the speed of lightning, catching everyone's attention. "Guys! What if he didn't have an accomplice? What if he went solo?!"   
  
Ma shook his head, hoping Shuichi would come up with something better than that. "There was a second party involved. Tachi wouldn't have the guts to shoot anyone, or kill anyone for that matter. He's all talk."   
  
"Too bad Suguru's parents had to make a hasty strike, otherwise he'd still be here for questioning," Shuichi murmured, taking a seat, looking over the list again, running by Hiro's name and missing his best friend with all his heart.   
  
Suguru shook his head, sniffling back tears. "I can't take this anymore. This is too stressful for me. Why can't the person just come out and admit it?!"   
  
Ken sat Indian style. "You don't know about that, Fujisaki, it could very well be Hiro."   
  
Suguru's eyes went wide, but Shuichi spoke instead.   
  
"It's not. I've known him practically my whole life. He wouldn't."   
  
"That's not what you thought before, Shindou," Ken countered.   
  
"Alright!" Ma shouted in the middle of it, preventing a fight. "Let's not do this right now. We'll start with Fujisaki. Suguru, tell us your side of the story. We need to try and narrow down some suspects here."   
  
Suguru let out a sigh and began. "If anyone should know Tohma, it's me. He was a kind, easygoing man with a generous and prosperous personality. I loved him very much. He was happy with his job, his home, Mika, everything. Never upset at anyone or anything, that's why this bothers me so much. This just came up and bit us all as fast as it arose!"   
  
Ma-kun crossed out Mika's name. "Most hysterical and wife of Tohma. That's enough to eliminate her right there."   
  
"But you never know!" Ken said, jumping in. "When in a sticky spot, wives are most likely to freak out and destroy their husbands before anyone else does!"   
  
Ma-kun frowned deeply at him. "What era are you living in, man?! Mika may be a witch, but she's not a killer. I stand by my decision."   
  
"Who are we left with?" Shuichi asked.   
  
"Everyone we didn't mention yet. We're trying to get rid of the ones that Tohma was around most. K, Sakano, Noriko, Ryuichi..."   
  
"Ryuichi and Tohma has an argument that night," said a familiar voice from the door. Shuichi looked up and was caught by surprise to notice Eiri standing in the doorway, smoking a cigarette, instead of being home after the trial was over. "I know, because Tohma came wining to me on the phone later that night. Had to have been no more than two hours after his death."   
  
Eiri didn't even sound concerned. He entered the room and sat down in an empty chair, continuing puff at the cigarette.   
  
"Yuki...you..." started a dumbfounded Shuichi.   
  
"Are you saying it's Ryuichi?" Ken-chan asked.   
  
"No way!" Shuichi said loudly. "Ryuichi would never EVER do that to Tohma!"   
  
"Then what about K or Sakano?"   
  
"No good," Ma stated.   
  
"Noriko?"   
  
Ma shook his head.   
  
"Come on guys! Give me a break here!" Ken said loudly. "The damn employees list isn't that big!"   
  
"Maybe it was someone we don't know. Ever think about that, Einstein?" Eiri murmured, showing off his glare, not forgetting the time they had their little encounter after Shuichi was raped.   
  
Ma-kun quickly nodded and scratched more names out from the list.   
  
"That leaves...you, Yuki-san."   
  
Eiri threw his cigarette on the floor and stepped on it, finding it kind of funny that he was mentioned when he wasn't even on the employees list to begin with. "Sorry, but I don't get cheap thrills out of killing people, even Seguchi."   
  
"There has to be someone we missed!" Suguru cried out. "Who else knew Tohma?"   
  
"We're talking an endless list there, Fujisaki," Ken said. "Your parents for one, then there's Tatsuha, other employees of the past, the list goes on."   
  
Eiri chuckled when he heard his brother's name. "The little twit's not that stupid."   
  
Suddenly, Suguru got to his feet in an uproar. "Well the hell with this, this is totally useless."   
  
"Where you going?" Shuichi asked as Suguru bolted to the door.   
  
"Going to see Hiro!" he said, then slammed the door behind him.   
  
On the way out, tears couldn't help but come to his eyes again. The conversation in the room was frustrating. No one was on Tohma's bad side. Everyone loved the man! He had no enemies.   
  
"Oh god Tohma, if only you could be here right now." 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I just can't stop writing this! I know who did it and I'm trying to collect little clues as I go along, but I will give you a hint: it WAS someone in the courtroom associated with Tohma in a close manner but it wasn't Hiro. That much I will say.


	29. Escape

"You got five minutes."  
  
Suguru nearly flipped when he was able to make progress in seeing Hiro. Five minutes wasn't nearly enough time, but he was still grateful. Hiro was in the same exact cell as before. When Suguru saw notice of him, his heart sank. It was no surprise that Hiro had completely given up on life, for as far as everyone knew, he would view his last sunset tonight.  
  
He looked up quickly as the bar door was being unlatched and wiped his eyes quickly to hide the fact that he had been crying the whole time.  
  
When Suguru came into view, his eyes went completely enormous and had trouble getting to his feet.  
  
"How...why are you here?" he asked in a small voice as the guard left, but was also watching from a safe, unknown distance.  
  
"Because I want to be," Suguru responded in an identical voice. "Hiro..."  
  
Suguru placed his hand on Hiro's warm cheek. Hiro leaned into his touch and closed his eyes, trying to visualize themselves elsewhere.  
  
"Just give up on me. I have no fight left. I'm weak, I'm tired, and I just want to end it all."  
  
Suguru's heart bounced up into his throat at the words he heard from his lover.  
  
"I don't ever want to hear that again, Hiro. I'll get you out even if I have to do it myself."  
  
Hiro lowered his head. "Yeah right. What are you going to do, start a fire in the guard's room?"  
  
Suguru gave him a tiny smile. "You just read my mind."  
  
He threw his arms around Hiro to kiss him, but at the same time, slipped a set of matches into his pocket, sneaking past the guard's eyes.  
  
"What do I do with those?"  
  
"When we were talking in the room back at NG, trying to think of Tachi's accomplice, Ma-kun thought of it. His girlfriend I guess is a perfume freak, so she gets the really expensive stuff." He exposed the bottle. "And also the flammable stuff. I'll leak some out while I'm leaving, then when I'm gone, light it."  
  
This idea was so incredibly asinine that even Hiro in his state had to laugh.  
  
"Easy for you to say. What are you planning on doing, blowing me up with it?"  
  
Suguru gave him a cross look.  
  
"If they catch me, I'll be in here even longer!"  
  
"You're not dying in here. We're getting out. We're leaving and moving out of this country and getting away from all this. Do you hear me?"  
  
Hiro took one last look at his beloved, then kissed him most passionately. He closed his eyes and took in the wonderful warm feeling of his partner's mouth.  
  
He sighed contently.  
  
"Then we can have that candles and jacuzzi wish," Suguru said in a bit of a trance.  
  
"Can't wait," Hiro said, brushing just his fingertips lovingly across Suguru's face.  
  
"Yo, time's up. You're out of here."  
  
Suguru closed his eyes and whispered a short, silent prayer before he turned around to leave. His stomach tightened. This plan was lame, but it had to work, it just HAD to!  
  
The guard left first, expecting Suguru to follow. Suguru tapped the bottle against the wall a few times to release the top, giving Hiro a mental goodbye kiss, then let out one last breath of air before emptying the bottle's contents onto the ground as he left the cell area. Hiro watched from the front. Suguru managed to empty the whole bottle all the way around the room. Then suddenly, thought of something. Just how was Suguru going to get back into the room to get him out and how would he unlock the door? Hiro closed his eyes with a sigh. Guess it was too good to be true.  
  
"Do it!"  
  
Hiro whipped his head around to the tiny window in his cell. Suguru could be seen as clear as day.  
  
"Use all of them!"  
  
Hiro sucked back a breath of air and hated more than anything to do this, but more importantly, thought of succession. If this worked out, he could be with Suguru again and try to be happy.  
  
Releasing the breath out of his lungs, he lit the first couple matches and threw it on the tiny puddle on the ground. Simultaneously, the perfume caught fire and burnt the rest of the trail like gasoline. It wasn't long before the other inmates caught notice of this and started wailing. Hiro did as instructed and threw the rest of the matches onto the flames, making him innocent of this.  
  
What he didn't expect was the fire to spread so quickly. Before he knew it, the flames were coming up to his bar door, losing any hopes of him to escape and any hopes of Suguru being able to come back in here alive. He was finished, and so was his hope of survival.  
  
"Hiroshi, hurry!" called a not so familiar voice from the window.  
  
Hiro spun around to notice Ma-kun in the window, throwing down something so he could drag Hiro up and out of the room. During this short time, he had also managed to remove the thick bars that blocked the window.  
  
Smiling to himself, Hiro grabbed the rope and had to do no work as they dragged him up the concrete wall and to the tiny window to squeeze him out. When he got up to the top, a pair of three hands gripped onto his arms to pull him out of the narrow window. Quickly taking notice, it was Suguru, Ken-chan, and Ma-kun who were his hero's of the day.  
  
They didn't bother exchanging any words until they were out of sight. Ma-kun replaced the bars that were taken out of the windows with ease and ran off with the three just as the fire trucks had been heard. This was it. Freedom or failure. It could be either one.  
  
"Ma-kun, hurry up!" Ken shouted with worry as Ma-kun was being held up for some reason. Soon, they all quickly discovered what it was he was fretting about. Before they could confirm it, Ma-kun had run back to grab the rope that they had forgotten in their time of haste.  
  
When Ma-kun had made his way back there, the other three were able to duck into a hideaway for the time being, and still were able to view Ma-kun. Ken was a bundle of nerves as he watched his friend, silently praying he could get back without being seen.  
  
Ma-kun wasted no more time. He ran faster than he ever had in his life when the sirens were coming so close now that his ears started bleeding. Making space for him in the tiny tunnel, Ma-kun took a running dive and slid into home base, panting.  
  
"Thanks so much, Ma-kun," Suguru breathed, not wasting any time in hugging onto Hiro, and trying to prevent himself from having a heart attack. "Thank you."  
  
"I owed you," he whispered, trying to catch his breath at a quick rate. "And besides that, I wanted to. I've always liked you guys, it was Tachi that didn't."  
  
Everyone silently agreed. But it was no time to be celebrating, for they quickly got wind of their escapee. Hiro's heart pounded audibly in his chest, allowing the walls to echo.  
  
"There has to be a way out in the back of this thing," Suguru whispered in an incredibly low voice.  
  
Ma-kun made that assumption true by sliding further in and went down far enough so he could stand on his feet.  
  
"Can you see anything?" Ken asked.  
  
Ma-kun felt the area with his hands, unable to see a thing, but felt something beneath the concrete wall; something that could be big enough to fit them through.  
  
"Looks like we have to crawl out of here," Ma-kun said. "But it's even smaller. We'll have to go one by one. I'll go first. Ken, go last."  
  
He helped the next person down off the ledge, which was Hiro. He took Hiro's hand and allowed him to feel the small entrance of the duct, telling him where it was, since they couldn't see a thing.  
  
"After I get through, come shortly after me, then Suguru, then Ken. We have to do this quickly."  
  
"But Ma-kun, you don't know what's in there!" Hiro said in a concerned voice.  
  
"We'll just have to wing it," he said, then ducked, preparing to crawl. Hiro knelt down and felt the back of Ma-kun's legs as he crawled through. When Hiro couldn't feel him any more, he stood back up and helped Suguru down. Suguru wasted no time in wrapping his arms around Hiro. It was no surprise of this action.  
  
"Hiro, I want to go next," Suguru whispered.  
  
"No. You need to stay behind. I'll be fine. Don't worry."  
  
Suguru's grip got tighter. "But...we don't know what's in there! For all we know, it could lead us right back into the jail!"  
  
Hiro just smiled and caressed Suguru's cheek in the pitch dark. "Don't worry. We'll see each other on the other side."  
  
Suguru nodded reluctantly. "Okay," he breathed.  
  
Hiro knelt down and followed Ma-kun's path. He tried to go a little quicker so he could catch up with him. It wasn't long before Suguru and Ken-chan followed in after them. The two stuck together, working through as a team. Hiro was having a hard time finding Ma-kun. No sounds could be heard from the front, only from the back.  
  
"Ma-kun!" Hiro whispered, going a tad bit faster, but found himself making no progress in finding their hero. Hiro went as fast as he could without making a sound.  
  
He started getting worried. The tunnel was going further and further on and no sign of Ma-kun anywhere. He gave it a try once more calling out for him, and to his surprise, he was grabbed by the leg and dragged into a different direction. With a yelp, he struggled to resist, but the force was too great.  
  
"Shhh!" Ma-kun's voice said from behind him, putting a hand over his mouth so he couldn't yell out. "I found a way out, but we have to be silent, okay?"  
  
Hiro nodded. Ma-kun removed his hand and waited for the others to come this way.  
  
And so they all did, one by one, being dragged in here just like Hiro did, and being told the same thing. Hiro took a hold of Suguru while Ma-kun took a hold of Ken.  
  
"Are you okay?" Hiro asked Suguru, able to see him now with the available light.  
  
Suguru just nodded. Hiro could see how scared he was, just by looking into his eyes alone. Hiro just smiled, trying to take that fear out of his eyes and throwing it away. He placed a small kill on the boy's tiny cheek.  
  
"You scared?" he asked in a low voice.  
  
Suguru didn't lie; he was as scared as everyone down here.  
  
"You don't need to be nervous, okay? We'll get out of here," he soothed, brushing a single knuckle against Suguru's soft facial skin. "And when we do, we'll be together."  
  
Suguru only prayed then and there that they would get out of this mess.  
  
Ma-kun was the first to break them out of their little world. There was a door to the warehouse they were in that lead to the outside, down the road from where the jail was.  
  
"Shouldn't we wait?" Suguru asked, still hearing the sirens from a distance.  
  
"Better yet, shouldn't we hide out in the pipe until they leave?"  
  
Ma-kun just smiled. "No need. They won't come down this way. It's a one-way street, see?" he said, pointing to the street sign.  
  
"They're cops, they can do anything they want," Suguru said wryly.  
  
"If you doubt me, we can wait," Ma-kun said, walking around slowly, picking up a few pebbles and throwing them against the wall with nothing better to do.  
  
"We could be waiting a while though," Ken-chan said, standing up against the wall and shoving his hands in his pockets.  
  
"I'm not endangering Hiro's life any further if there's no need for it," Suguru said, stepping forth into this conversation, wrapping his hand tightly around Hiro's. "We wait."  
  
The hairs on the back of Hiro's neck stood stiff. Suguru had a slight drop of venom in his voice. Why he sounded so cold all of a sudden was beyond him.  
  
"If we stay here though, we're most likely to get caught," Ma-kun added. "There's no doubt that they will check every square inch of the place until they have nowhere left to search. We can't stay here very long. Is there anywhere else you two can go?"  
  
Hiro and Fujisaki exchanged glances. They couldn't go back to his home, that's the first place they'd start looking after they found out his body was not among those who burnt to death in the jail cell. They most certainly couldn't go to Suguru's house. Heaven forbid that one. They couldn't go to Mika's. Her and Suguru's parents would be the first to turn them in. NG studios was probably under watch as well. Ryuichi and Noriko were probably looking for them with the cops; K was quite unpredictable on where he would be and if he believed Hiro, so he was out of the question. There was only one other place they both could think of. A place that might not be safe, but they would make a try for it.  
  
"Shuichi's and Yuki's." 


	30. Return to Shuichi's

They arrived at Eiri's in one piece. All four of them had decided to go together. Ken and Ma-kun were rather reluctant on that part, but Hiro promised that Shuichi and Eiri would hold no grudges.  
  
So far, they've been pretty lucky and taking the back roads so no one could see them. Ma-kun and Ken were their lookouts to make sure no one would see him. He was also the one to knock on Eiri's door when they got there. Hiro and Suguru were even more scared now that the door had been knocked on out of the whole time they were in the tunnel and escaping the jail. What if Shuichi and Eiri still despised Hiro? It could be possible. He already was before.  
  
Suguru's eyes went wide and a small gasp got Hiro's attention.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I...yelled at Shindou...right after the trial. I told him he was heartless and to leave you alone. I didn't mean to! It just came out!"  
  
Hiro hugged the small boy close to him, telling him it was all right.  
  
"Shuichi may hate us, but he's all we have now."  
  
Just then, the door opened and there stood Eiri, cigarette in hand and completing the persona. He appeared to be annoyed with the door knocking, but was shut up immediately when he saw which four characters stood outside on his doorstep. Even though he hadn't seen Ken-chan or Ma-kun since he attacked Ma-kun, they weren't the first ones he laid eyes on.  
  
"Shuichi here?" Suguru asked.  
  
"Where the hell have you been?" he asked Hiro in a bit of a growl. "Everyone in this damn city is looking for you. I'm not about to be charged with aiding and bedding either, so you can just take yourself and—"  
  
"We're in trouble, Eiri-san," Suguru said.  
  
"No shit," Eiri backfired, narrowing his eyes.  
  
"We're not asking much, and you won't get into any trouble. Please...do it for my cousin. Do it because you loved him more than anything else in the world, even though you never admitted it. He knows Hiro's innocent. He knows the person involved with his murder wasn't Hiro. Please...just this once," Suguru begged in a low, half broken voice, tears threatening and blurring his vision.  
  
Eiri's head was about to explode the moment Suguru mentioned loving Tohma. Just how the hell did HE know that?! Being Tohma's cousin makes it obvious. Tohma may have been dead, but his spirit lived on in his cousin and Tohma may just as well have been there in Suguru.  
  
It took a few moments, but Eiri finally agreed with a low cuss, stepping aside. The four entered, Ma-kun and Ken going first.  
  
"Oh hell no," Eiri said, looking at the two, who stopped in the middle of the room to look around. "Now that I won't have. Out."  
  
"They helped Hiro escape, Eiri-san," Suguru said, not letting go of Hiro's hand.  
  
"If anyone killed Tohma, it was these morons with Aizawa. They're his little pets. They had Shuichi raped, twice actually, and I won't stand to see their vermin around my house!"  
  
Eiri was being truthful and Ma-kun and Ken-chan expected this sort of thing. Hanging around with Tachi got them a bad name.  
  
"Yuki-san...we can no longer eat out of Tachi's hand. Therefore, all we can do is repent for what he's manipulated us to do. He's made us start hating Shuichi and Bad Luck, all because he was jealous. Even though Ken and I were against it, we had to go along with him, otherwise he'd turn the tables on us."  
  
"It's like being in a gang," Ken added.  
  
Ma-kun was about to speak again when Eiri interrupted by holding up his hand. "Touching, but I must get back to work and you two are not staying here. I made myself clear. Get out now."  
  
Eiri left for his workroom before seeing that the two left.  
  
"I'm sorry," Suguru said truthfully.  
  
Ma-kun shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Ken and I...we have things to do anyway. We'll call here if we find out anything."  
  
Suguru and Hiro said farewell to their hero's and waved as they left. Next, they were greeted by Shuichi, who came flying out of the hallway and hugging Hiro so tightly that he had nearly exploded. He cried at the top of his lungs, drenching Hiro with his tears, saying how sorry he was, and if Suguru heard correctly, Shuichi also managed to get a few "I love you's" in there.  
  
Laughing, Hiro pulled the over drastic boy off of him and nearly had to scream over his wailing that it was okay.  
  
"Idon'tknowwhat'swrongwithmeHiroI'msosorryI knowthatyoucouldn'thavedonethistoTohmaI shouldhaveknownthatallalongI'msosorry," he said at jet speed.  
  
Hiro continued to laugh and place both hands on his friend's shoulders. "Shuichi...apologize once more and I'll kick you out of your own place."  
  
Shuichi gripped onto Hiro's upper sleeves. "No amount of apologizing will ever make this okay again! You're my best friend Hiro and I doubted you! I will understand if you never want to be friends again."  
  
Shuichi's head went to the ground. Hiro smiled. Typical Shuichi. He lifted up Shuichi's chin, not losing the grin. "If I didn't want to be your friend anymore Shuichi, I wouldn't be here. I love you. I always have, always will."  
  
It was typical for anyone to get jealous by the scene alone, never mind the touchy feely part. Suguru felt a twinge of envy towards the situation. They have done everything but kiss.  
  
That thought quickly raced through Shuichi's mind as he pulled his best friend into a kissing embrace. The scene quickly alerted Hiro and Suguru, only Suguru's reaction was a whole lot scarier than Hiro's.  
  
Nothing was said right away from Suguru, he left Hiro to say something and hoped he'd do it fast. Using body language, the moss haired boy folded his arms and furrowed his eyebrows.  
  
Hiro still loved Shuichi and would give him all the chances in the world to come back to him, but with Suguru in the room and their low vows exchanged, it was impossible. He pushed Shuichi away from him and shook his head.  
  
"Shuichi..."  
  
Shuichi, for the first time in his life, looked embarrassed to the point where his cheeks turned colors. There may have been other times Shuichi was embarrassed, but this topped all.  
  
Neither of them said anything, just stared at one another, not knowing what to say.  
  
"Well if you both are going to pretend I'm not even here, I'll make it easier on you."  
  
Both looked to Suguru as he pulled a fit and stomped out of the room. Shuichi came back to planet earth and shook his head. "Ah Hiro, I'm sorry."  
  
Hiro slapped his hand to his face. "Dammit I wish you never did that. I wish to god you never did that, Shuichi," Hiro said, feeling some feelings for Shuichi come back to him at rapid speed.  
  
"Why not Hiro?" Shuichi asked, tilting his head in confusion, mimicking a Ryuichi.  
  
Hiro yanked his hand away and narrowed his eyes. "You're playing with me! Don't kiss me unless you mean it! I've waited years for you to do it and now that I've finally found someone to love, you come waltzing right on in! Fucking typical!"  
  
"I only did it because I was happy to see you! Christ Hiro you act like I was trying to split you both up!"  
  
"You might as well have!" Hiro interrupted. "Now you've made Suguru angry at me! I hope you're happy!"  
  
Shuichi wasn't really one for confrontations, so he just watched as Hiro went looking for Suguru, wondering where he had messed up this time.

* * *

Suguru and Shuichi weren't on speaking terms that night at dinner. Anything but. They made sure they sat as far away from each other as possible. Shuichi sat next to Eiri after forcing him out of his lair to join them for dinner, and Hiro wasn't allowed to sit anywhere near Shuichi. As many times as Hiro tried to make it clear to Suguru that the kiss didn't mean anything, he wouldn't listen. This was all just something else to add to the crisis that was going on.  
  
After dinner, Eiri went back into his study, Suguru went to lock himself into a room, and Hiro helped Shuichi clean up. He felt as if he owed it to him.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you," Hiro said as Shuichi was about to disappear into the kitchen. "I was just surprised."  
  
"Forget it," Shuichi said, not looking back as he vanished around the corner. Hiro sighed as he stacked the plates up and walked into the kitchen. Shuichi was putting just putting them into the sink and washing them by hand.  
  
"Shuichi..."  
  
"I said forget it!" he yelled and then sniffled, followed by a short sob. "I know you can't love me. Who can? No one loves me, what's one less?"  
  
Hiro placed the plates down on the counter and looked over at Shuichi. "Don't say that. A lot of people love you. If you remember, we were in this situation not long ago with you and me. I loved you Shuichi, but you had Yuki. Don't put me through this, please. I love—"  
  
"Suguru, yes, I know, you love Suguru."  
  
"Shuichi—"  
  
"Shut up!" Shuichi shouted, spinning to him and meeting eye to eye. "Why do you think I never spoke to you and thought you killed Seguchi-san?! I ignored you because I thought Fujisaki would go away! If he believed me, maybe he would leave! I had to do it, Hiro! I had to do it and I prayed it would have those consequences, but it didn't!"  
  
Hiro was astonished. He had no idea Shuichi was saying he was guilty, just to make Suguru move on.  
  
Hiro shook his head with a sigh. "Oh Shuichi...why didn't you just tell me? I'm not a mind reader, I don't KNOW these things off hand!"  
  
"I didn't tell you because you were too busy messing around with HIM!" he shouted so loud that his voice started breaking. "How many times did you do it? Five? Ten? Twenty?!"  
  
Hiro felt tears brim his eyes. He didn't need another problem. He covered his face, unable to handle this.  
  
Shuichi had figured since Tohma and Suguru were so close, any word of Hiro being in on it would separate the two instantly.  
  
"Shuichi, you made it clear to me that we were just friends. You have Yuki, I have Suguru. I love Suguru, you love Yuki. I've tried countless times and you kept pushing me away, what else could I do?! I had to move on, okay, I moved on. You made me go."  
  
Hiro was anything but angry. Mostly hurt. He brushed a tear away that rolled down his cheek.  
  
"I love you Hiro," Shuichi said in a much calmer voice. "This whole situation is killing me. We've been friends for the longest time, way before Fujisaki, and if anything, I think I deserve a chance more than he does."  
  
"You HAD your chance!" Hiro shouted, instantly making his head hurt. He had no idea why Shuichi was like this all of a sudden and didn't know how much longer he could take of it. "I love Suguru! As soon as I get out of this mess, we're leaving this god forsaken country together and moving someplace where we could be left alone, free from publicity, free from people, free from everything!"  
  
Shuichi's face softened, but instantly tightened again as he flared right back to him. "What about Bad Luck, Hiro?! What about it?! What about our friendship?"  
  
"There will be NO friendship between us if you can't accept my wishes! I hate yelling, Shuichi, I hate yelling and I can't BELIEVE I'm being forced to do it! I love you Shuichi, you're my best friend and I'll always love you, but not like that. NOT like that. You had your chance and you should have taken it then. I gave you two chances and you blew it. Please don't ruin my life. I'm happy. I spent too many nights crying over you and I've had enough. Just let me lead my life, whatever I have left of it before they catch me and murder me in the most brutal ways they can think of."  
  
Shuichi's flinched as Hiro broke a dish on top of the counter in protest, and then stormed out.  
  
"Oh god what does it matter anyway? Why am I defending anything?" Hiro murmured, walking into the bathroom and shutting the door carefully. "Shuichi or Suguru...it doesn't matter, I'm going to be dead before I get to be with either one of them."  
  
He turned the cold-water faucet on and splashed a handful of water onto his face, rushing away any appearances of tear lines. Looking into the mirror at his broken down image, he sighed wearily.  
  
"I'm innocent," he breathed out of nowhere. "I'm innocent and I don't deserve this. God only knows who murdered Seguchi, but it wasn't me. It wasn't me!" he cried, clenching his fist and delivering it into the wall before him, just missing the mirror. Upon contact, he immediately cried in pain as a god-awful crack was produced from the impact.  
  
He hugged his hand close to his chest, biting his lower lip and forcing away the pain.  
  
"Dammit!" he shouted in a pant, forcing the pain away vocally.  
  
Where had he ever gone wrong to deserve this? His life was running up so perfectly up until a few short months ago, and then all of a sudden, Tachi and someone else feel like blaming their actions on him. Hiro knew over everyone that he was as innocent as he came. This wasn't going to work out. They were going to find him and put him away where not even the rays of sunshine would be able to touch his fair skin.  
  
"This isn't how it's supposed to be. Goddamn it to hell, I didn't do anything wrong!"  
  
"Hiro?"  
  
Hiro gasped. Suguru lightly tapped on the door, awaiting entry. All forms of human life sickened Hiro at the moment, even Suguru, but nevertheless, he opened the door anyway and welcomed the boy inside, who immediately threw his arms around him. As much as Hiro felt his life coming to an end, with Suguru by his side, only strengthened him to go on. If it weren't for the young keyboardist, he would have left this world from the start.  
  
Then it dawned on him. He was an escapee. He was endangering Suguru's life, as well as Eiri and Shuichi for keeping him here. He couldn't bring down his friend, or his lover.  
  
After thinking long and hard while the tiny arms were wrapped firmly around him, Hiro shook his head with a short sigh. "I can't do it anymore."  
  
Suguru took his arms back and looked deep into Hiro's eyes with confusion. "What?"  
  
"I can't run anymore. They'll never prove my innocence, and I can't bring you all down with me." He pressed his hand to Suguru's cheek and rubbed it gently. "You've been wonderful to me, I'll never forget it."  
  
Suguru didn't even bother questioning him, just held onto the hand that was on his cheek and began the waterworks.  
  
"This is so unfair!" he said.  
  
"I'm leaving. I'm leaving before something worse happens to you or Shuichi, or even Eiri."  
  
Suguru gripped onto him tight, promising a million times that he would never let go.  
  
"Then I'm going with you."  
  
This is exactly what Hiro feared. He knew for a fact that Suguru wouldn't do as told.  
  
"Please...just stay here until things get sorted out."  
  
The both of them met eye to eye. "You know it's not going to!" Suguru cried. "Not here anyway. Let's leave this country now. Let's leave and go to the states where no one will know us."  
  
Hiro would have thought that was the best idea anyone ever had, but shook his head instead. That would be the plan if he was let go, but since he wasn't going to be let go so easily, he would have to toughen it out first.  
  
"We're known there, as well as everywhere else. No doubt they know about me and would notify the authorities. Plus, we don't even speak a word of English."  
  
"I know enough to get us by!" Suguru insisted. "Please Hiro! We can't be here any longer! We're not wanted!"  
  
Hiro sighed and looked up to the bathroom ceiling. "Dear Tohma Seguchi, whatever I did to you to deserve this, I'm sorry. All I want is a HINT! A damn HINT on who was with Tachi. There were no hints! Ken-chan, Ma-kun, Noriko, Ryuichi, Eiri, Mika, K, ANYONE! STAND UP AND CONFESS!"  
  
Suguru grabbed onto Hiro's hand, afraid for him. "Please Hiro. Don't do anything stupid or falsely accuse anyone. Ken-chan and Ma-kun were already eliminated, you know that. Noriko and Ryuichi wouldn't either, and Mika loved him—"  
  
"What about Eiri?" Hiro asked. "We never had gotten around to asking him about it. He's murdered someone in cold blood once before, and we all know how he took to Tohma. He couldn't stand him! He seems so awfully calm about the situation too."  
  
"I'm only calm so I don't become like you both," Eiri said, becoming visible in the doorway and lighting a cigarette, looking totally unaffected by their accusations. "You both will blame anyone to make yourselves feel better, won't you? I'll have you know that the night of his murder, I was here, writing in my novel when hothead here comes riding up in that motorcycle of his, accusing me of Shuichi's rape, and then I left shortly after that to see him. Now tell me please...how could I have gotten from here to there in five seconds?"  
  
Hiro and Suguru were silent. They've heard Eiri's side of the story. The one who would have likely been a suspect has passed the test, and Hiro was the witness to that one, for it was him that rudely walked up to the door and nearly beat him into a pulp.  
  
"Eiri-san, we don't mean to blame you, we're just having a hard time right now. It's so hard, but I'm trying. Please tell me if you know of anyone who would have a grudge against my cousin. Please."  
  
Eiri didn't even have to think twice about this one. He puffed out smoke with a sigh. "That baka had plenty of enemies. Co-workers, employees, managers, you name it. He was a difficult man."  
  
"Difficult, but he was still a human being, and if I have to, I will speak to everyone individually about it. I'm going to be doing what the court system should have done themselves. Everyone at NG will be phoned and spoken to, along with Nittle Grasper and Ken-chan and Ma-kun. I want to know exactly where these people were and how long they were there."  
  
Suguru brushed right past Eiri and collected a notebook and something to write with, preparing to be up all night, choking the truth out of those who would be least expected to commit murder.

* * *

The whole night passed and not a single lead. Suguru got many stories from the employees and staff at NG, and most of them were sleeping that night, like normal people would have. Noriko was at home with her husband and daughter, and Ryuichi was at the studio, brooding about the lyrics that he had begged Tohma to get, and K stayed at the studio late as well, awaiting Tohma's return so he could discuss the Battle of the Bands schedule. He left when Tohma never came back.  
  
Suguru slammed the cordless phone down on the table after a night of nothing and a book full of ink. Nothing made any sense! There had to have been a connection here somewhere, there just HAD to have been!  
  
"Why can't something just come out and bite me in the ass?"  
  
"Suguru..."  
  
Suguru gasped when a pair of hands came down and massaged his shoulders from behind. Before Suguru could turn around, red hair fell down the side of his face. Not even bothering to look around, he relaxed into the massage with a sigh, closing his eyes.  
  
"You don't have to do this," Hiro whispered into his ear, then lightly kissed his cheek. "Come to bed. It's getting late."  
  
"How can I sleep when the murderer is parading around town, laughing his ass off?" Suguru said, rubbing his eyes.  
  
"How do you know he is? He could be just as scared as we are."  
  
Suguru reached his arm up around so that his hand traveled lightly down Hiro's arm.  
  
"I'm scared," he whispered. "I'm afraid for us. None of this is making any sense!"  
  
Hiro nodded. "I know. I know it's not. I'm sorry you're being dragged into this too. Really I am. It wasn't meant to go this far. Please don't get any further into this. Save yourself why you still can. I can't see you go down with me."  
  
Hiro's voice was full of sincerity and authenticity as he awaited Suguru's look of shock. Suguru did just that. He turned his head around so they met eye to eye.  
  
"I've already told you Hiro, I'm not going anywhere. Stop trying to push me away."  
  
"Is that what you think I'm doing?" Hiro asked, heartbroken. "I'm trying to save your life! I can't stand to see you go down with me if you're as innocent as they come. Please Suguru. Please."  
  
Suguru said nothing. He couldn't. Hiro took his hands.  
  
"I want you to leave now."  
  
"And go where?" Suguru asked in a low voice, not breaking the stare into his eyes. "Home? I don't have a home anymore. I don't have any place to go, and even if I did, you could never get rid of me."  
  
Hiro's eyes nearly watered as the sixteen year old spoke to him in the most serious and honest voice. Hiro cupped his cheeks.  
  
"I'm not trying to get rid of you, I just love you too much to see you throw your life away," he said, half mouthed and half whispered.  
  
Suguru stiffened. "I'm not throwing my life away as long as I'm with you."  
  
They paused momentarily before enveloping in a long, heated kiss. Suguru poured all the love into the kiss that he could, just so he could show Hiro how much he loved and needed him.  
  
As they parted and the sweet kiss still lingering on their lips, they knew that they would both be in this together for as long as it went on, without even any words spoken.

* * *

"I want them gone by morning," Eiri said as Shuichi paced back and forth in their bedroom. "I'm not getting busted for your friend."  
  
"Hiro's innocent!" Shuichi cried, balling his fists. "I don't care if he's innocent or guilty, the point is that the cops are looking for him and they are eventually going to look here and once they find him here, I'm the one who gets fucked."  
  
Shuichi froze at the harshness in his voice.  
  
"But Yuki..."  
  
"No 'buts'."  
  
"Hiro's my friend!"  
  
"I don't give a damn if he was your blood related brother, he's not staying in my house while this is going on."  
  
Shuichi's mouth hung open as Eiri lay down and covered himself up with blankets.  
  
"You coming or what?" he asked, looking over his shoulder when Shuichi wasn't joining him in bed.  
  
Shuichi wanted badly to talk back to him, but didn't. Instead, he kept his mouth shut and joined his lover in bed.

* * *

"What if they come looking here next?" Suguru asked as he and Hiro shared a bed in the guestroom together. He placed his hand over Hiro's bare, hairless chest, rubbing his fingertips around the area slowly.  
  
"Would Shuichi and Eiri-san get in trouble?"  
  
As much as Hiro forced himself to shake his head, he nodded. "They would. Aiding and Bedding I believe it's called."  
  
"But you're not a criminal!"  
  
Hiro just sighed, looking up at the ceiling and closing his eyes. "Tell that to the authorities. We're criminals on the go, Suguru, and there's nothing we can say or do about it. I guess the only thing we can do is disguise ourselves and go where no one knows who we are."  
  
"Think we're popular in America or Canada?"  
  
"Without a doubt. With America being the second largest continent in the world, I guarantee it. We're better off dead in a gutter somewhere."  
  
When Suguru didn't speak right away, Hiro cracked open an eyelid and glanced over at him. The young boy just stared blankly at him.  
  
"Hiro...don't say those things!"  
  
"I have never been more serious in my life," he said, propping himself up with his elbow. "We can be just like Romeo and Juliet."  
  
Suguru shook his head quickly. "I don't want to die, Hiro, I want to grow old with you!" he said, taking his hand and begged with his eyes.  
  
"We may have had everything we could ever want, Suguru, but now we've lost it all. Tachi took everything from me."  
  
Suguru took his hand. "Not everything. I'll never be gone. He can never take me away."  
  
They sealed that promise with a kiss.

* * *

Phew, finally almost getting there. The next chapter is what everyone's been waiting for: Suguru finally finds out who really did it. Actually it sort of just unfolds right in front of his very eyes but I'm positive everyone will be shocked on who it is. The next chapter also includes a Hiro x Suguru lime in which was more than thrilling to write. The more reviews I get, the faster the second from last chapter will come up! 


	31. Murderer Steps Forth

Hiro was the first to awake the next morning. The golden sunrays poured through the sides of the curtains, brightening up the room instantly. Being ever so careful so as if not to wake Suguru up, he got out of bed, stretched, and then walked into the kitchen to throw a pot of coffee on. He stole a pastry from the white box on the counter and took a seat at the kitchen table, looking at the newspaper that was already brought in. No surprise he made the front cover again with his escape. Hiro began to read it, but then his mind soared off elsewhere, while his eyes kept reading the paper. He thought about Shuichi. The last time he had seen his friend was last night after the argument. Was Shuichi really jealous of Suguru? Did he really want to be his? It was hard to tell, and very confusing to try and figure out.  
  
As if right on cue, Shuichi walked into the kitchen, still half asleep and heading to the freshly brewing coffee with his head down and feet dragging across the floor as he walked. He seemed to be ignoring Hiro. Hiro didn't know if that was on purpose, or if it was just because he was tired.  
  
When there was enough coffee brewed to fill Shuichi's favorite mug, he brimmed it and took a seat at the table across from Hiro with a tired moan. Hiro held the newspaper in front of his face and pretended not to notice him. He wanted Shuichi to break the ice first.  
  
"Hiro..." he started in a tiny voice.  
  
Hiro glanced past the paper to his tired best friend. Shuichi had his head down.  
  
"I know you're ignoring me," he murmured. "I'm not ignoring you, Shuichi, I'm just confused at what I should be doing with this friendship, that's all." Shuichi shook his head tiredly. "No. You're right. We don't have anything." Hiro put the paper down. "Yes we do Shuichi. We have a tighter bond than any two people in this world." "Not you and Suguru," he countered. "I have never been okay with him joining the group either. Never have. Never will." Hiro shook his head with a sigh. "Shuichi you know just as well as I do that we would be nowhere without him. He saved us. He saved Bad Luck." "He also made you a criminal on the run," Shuichi said honestly. "Along with Tachi's right hand men." "I'm not a criminal on the run if I've never done anything. You know what I think Shuichi, I think you're jealous." "Jealous?!" Shuichi parroted loudly, then glaring over at Hiro. "You have some nerve!" "And tell me why I shouldn't be feeling this way? Ever since I got here, you've been trying to force Suguru away from me. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't have any idea on what you want from me." Shuichi lowered his head and closed his eyes. "I just want the truth," he whispered. "Truth about what?" Hiro asked, half annoyed and half wondering what he was talking about. "Have you slept with him?" Shuichi kept his eyes and head lowered, and didn't even look up when Hiro hesitated to respond to the question.  
  
"No Shuichi, I did not sleep with him, that is the truth. But whether I do or not is none of your business," he said low. "I don't snoop in yours and Eiri's relationships, it's not fair that you would do so with mine."  
  
Shuichi, still in the same position, nodded. "I understand. Friends would usually tell friends when that sort of thing would happen, just for show and tell, but whatever Hiro. If you're just so confident with your relationship, go ahead and keep everything to yourselves."  
  
Hiro frowned. Just what was Shuichi getting at.  
  
"I don't understand," he said honestly. "Why are you so interested in hearing about us?"  
  
"Just so I can practice on what I need to do to make you want me as your lover."  
  
Hiro balled his fist tenderly and delivered it onto the tabletop with ease, loud enough to get his body language across. "Shuichi, stop it. Stop it right now, dammit. There are a ton of things going wrong with my life right now, plus I'm a criminal on the run. I really don't need for you to be throwing yourself at me right now, or ever for that matter. I appreciate what you and Eiri are doing for me in letting me stay here, but I can't, nor will I ever, be with you."  
  
Shuichi looked up. The seriousness in Hiro's face would never be forgotten.  
  
"Like I said, you lost your chance twice. I love Suguru and we are very happy together. Please don't try to come in between us again. I love you Shuichi, but only in the way you taught me how. Friendship."  
  
Hiro stood up and left the kitchen, leaving Shuichi to pout at the table. Why was he so quick to get his hands on Hiro? Were things not going right with he and Yuki? He had never been this possessive before. It was almost kind of frightening.  
  
Hiro walked back into the guest room to see Suguru still sleeping soundly, breathing low through his nose, but just loud enough to be heard by Hiro's ears. Hiro smiled and lightly laid beside Suguru in the direction he was facing. Still smiling at his beauty, thanking whatever god above that still kept them together, Hiro lightly brushed his fingertips across Suguru's cheek lovingly. Suguru's cheeks were sensitive and it didn't take him long to bring his hand to his face and itch his cheek, still in his sleep. Hiro chuckled. He did it once more, and that finally woke up his sleeping beauty.  
  
"Hello sleepyhead," Hiro said.  
  
Suguru just moaned, stretched, and then yawned before finally saying his morning greetings. Hiro lay down on the pillow so that they faced each other, eye to eye.  
  
"Sleep well?" he asked, holding into Suguru's hand and rubbing his thumb on the surface.  
  
"Not really," came Suguru's reply. "I had another dream about Tohma. It wasn't a dream, it was more of a nightmare."  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
Suguru sighed before speaking. "I was with you in the park, holding hands, acting like lovers, and then all of a sudden the world turns black and you disappear. At first I start running endlessly looking for you, crying out your name, begging for you to return to me. I ran, but you were nowhere to be found and everything was still black. I kept telling you I loved you and I wanted you back, but nothing happened, then I fell to my knees and cried, only looking up moments later to a call of my name by a familiar voice. I look up and it's Tohma, smiling down at me with that cheerful trademark smile he always gave. It warmed me up inside and my tears dissolved right away as he helped me to my feet. I then said to him "I thought you were dead, I thought you were dead!" while hugging him tightly. It felt so real too, I really felt his warmth against me."  
  
When Suguru started to cry, Hiro comforted him. "You don't have to continue."  
  
Suguru shook his head. "No, that's okay, I want to. He then told me he was dead, and that he knew who killed him. This is the frightening part. He leaned over to my ear and whispered a name, and I actually felt his breath against my ear. It's like he really did it in my sleep."  
  
"What did he say?" Hiro asked, heart pounding with hope that this could be over.  
  
"He said a name, but I was too fixated on his breath and warmth against me to fully comprehend it."  
  
"Do you remember anything?" Hiro asked, praying Suguru would at least remember something.  
  
Suguru nodded, much to Hiro's delight. "He said...something with a strong E sound. I know it sounds nuts, but that's the only syllable I heard."  
  
"That at least narrows it down a little bit. Gets K and Noriko off the list."  
  
Suguru nodded blankly, trying to think of something. He had wished he had heard his cousin's voice and was not so focused on his breathing.  
  
"The only one I can think of is Eiri."  
  
Suguru was unsure on that and shook his head slowly.  
  
"It has to be Eiri! He killed once he can kill again!"  
  
Suguru placed his hand over Hiro's. "Hiro, stop it. It was just a dream, a figment of my imagination in what I wanted to hear."  
  
"No I don't think so. I think it was something more. I believe that Tohma came and told you because he trusts you to find out the truth. I bet he's what's keeping us together and staying strong."  
  
"You mean to tell me my cousin is what's keeping us together, not love?"  
  
Wrong thing to say? Hiro had to rethink what he said.  
  
"No of course not Suguru. There's love. I love you. I've told you this."  
  
"You didn't used to love me before my cousin died. It just happened all of a sudden after he left this world," Suguru said, feeling a sudden depression. "Maybe it is Tohma's doing."  
  
Hiro sighed. "I'm sorry Suguru, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. Even if it is his doing, I've never been happier in my life. And yes I did start to like you before he died and my god will I help you and do anything for you to find this guy and make him pay."  
  
Hiro cupped Suguru's chin and lead the boy into a sweet kiss.  
  
"I love you," he whispered into his mouth. "Tohma or no Tohma."  
  
Suguru sealed himself to Hiro, sharing body warmth. Even though all of this was going on, he had a strong urge to become Hiro's fully. He knew there was something keeping them apart and if it wasn't now, it was never. Anything could happen and he knew that.  
  
"Make love to me, Hiro," Suguru whispered as if in a trance. "I need your love."  
  
Hiro was taken back by this request. After just getting done speaking of some dream and crying, all of a sudden this was taking place on the young teen's mind?  
  
"Suguru, you don't know what you're saying."  
  
Suguru shifted his tiny frame so that he was now lying on top of Hiro, looking at him straight in the eyes. "I know what I'm saying. I want to get closer to you. I want to feel the pleasure you have for me."  
  
Hiro hardened on the spot when Suguru moved himself so he lined up with Hiro's lower region and thrust his hips down. Hiro groaned with the ferociousness it brought. Suguru smiled. He had Hiro under his control.  
  
Hiro, still being in boxer shorts, was noticeably hard by now. Suguru continued his onslaught and moved his hips on and around Hiro's sensitive area, watching him writhe in excitement. This made the two forget immediately about what was going on outside and forget whose house they were at.  
  
Hiro felt the urge to take over. Suguru yelped as Hiro grabbed him by the arms and threw him on the bed, changing places. Hiro grinned eagerly and lovingly.  
  
"You're so quick," Suguru said.  
  
Hiro continued to grin. "Oh I know."  
  
"No wonder I love you so much, Hiroshi Nakano."  
  
Suguru reached his arm up around the back of Hiro's neck and pushed him down so that their lips met. Hiro traveled his right hand down Suguru's bare chest and to the midsection. Since they were both wearing boxers it was rather easy to get aroused behind the thin material. Hiro took advantage of the situation and touched his lover for the first time. Suguru gasped under the kiss.  
  
"Are you sure you want this?"  
  
Suguru didn't have to be asked twice. He's wanted to become this close to Hiro since the moment they declared their love for each other.  
  
"Oh Hiro, I've never wanted anything more."  
  
Hiro placed his lips back over his lover's and slid a warm hand inside Suguru's boxers, fondling his member teasingly slowly, making Suguru moan to the new sensation.  
  
When Suguru got to the point of crying into Hiro's mouth, Hiro lifted his head up to stare into Suguru's beautiful brown eyes.  
  
"Please don't tease me, Hiro, please," Suguru said, relieved that Hiro's torture had stopped. Suguru had become hard fast and any other form of contact would end this early for him.  
  
"Suguru...what about the candles and the jacuzzi dream you've always talked about? Right now...would ruin that fantasy. Right now I want you more than anything else in the world. I've wanted to do this since day one."  
  
"Then do it Hiro. I don't care about the candles and the jacuzzi, all I want is you. I don't care what's going on."  
  
Hiro caressed Suguru's face slowly with the tips of his fingers, smiling at the young boy. "You mean more to me than anything else in the world and if this is what you want, I will give it to you."  
  
"I want it from you...just you," Suguru whispered and pulled Hiro's head down into a kiss. Hiro shifted himself and removed Suguru's boxers, releasing his member from its seal, allowing it to be free.  
  
"Is this your first time?" Hiro whispered.  
  
"You know it is, Hiro," Suguru responded, feeling a tad scared about the pain he would receive from being a virgin. But as long as it was with Hiro, he could feel pain a million times over and not mind it a bit.  
  
"I'll be gentle, I promise."  
  
Suguru nodded.  
  
"Are you ready?"  
  
When Suguru nodded a second time, Hiro's boxer shorts came off and thrown carelessly onto the floor somewhere. When both members touched, flames lit in each one's stomachs and hisses escaped clenched teeth. Suguru didn't even know how pleasurable it was to get this close to Hiro. Hiro's hips grinded against Suguru's, feeling as if he wasn't getting close enough. It was only when Suguru cried out that Hiro's mind jumped back down to earth and stopped his aggressive assault.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"It hurts," Suguru said, eyes watering.  
  
"I didn't even do anything," Hiro said. "Loosen up a little bit. Don't tense yourself and it won't hurt."  
  
Suguru relaxed his body. Hiro threw the blanket over them and then traveled down Suguru's body, covering the blanket over Suguru's chest so he couldn't see what he was doing, only feeling.  
  
Suguru willingly allowed Hiro to configure his body into the positions he wanted. Hiro bent Suguru's legs at the knees and pushed them apart. The young boy felt helpless against the older man's attack.  
  
His head was thrown back when the most incredible feeling he had ever experienced caused chills to run up and down his spine. Hiro's experienced mouth covered Suguru's length wholly. Hiro relaxed his gag reflexes and was able to pleasure Suguru beyond words. Suguru fisted the sheets and struggled to keep his groans to a minimum so they wouldn't attract any visitors, but proved useless when Hiro's tongue hit the most sensitive areas, causing him to cry out.  
  
He thrust his hips, desperately wanting more out of this. Looking down, all he could see was Hiro's head underneath the comforter moving up and down.  
  
This was it; Suguru couldn't take anymore. He shook the earth when he screamed and came into Hiro's mouth. The most violent of all orgasms swept through his trembling body. Beads of sweat grazed his forehead and breathing became a problem. Hiro placed a sweaty hand over his lover's heartbeat, which felt as if it were going to beat right out of his chest.  
  
It had gotten to the point where Suguru had to gasp for air.  
  
"Are you okay?" Hiro asked, coming out from underneath the covers, breathing heavily and sweating as well, due to the lack of air.  
  
Before Suguru could do anything but nod, the door was flung open and in stepped an angry couple. Eiri looked extremely pissed while Shuichi looked stunned. Hiro bounced off of Suguru and sat up, still covered up.  
  
"What the hell's going on in here?" Eiri asked in a bit of a growl.  
  
Suguru had just now realized what had caused them to come forth.  
  
"You woke up the damn world with your yell!" Eiri said to Suguru, who was blushing furiously. "If you must do it, the least you can do is keep it down."  
  
Eiri left. Shuichi just stood in the doorway. He didn't know how far it had gotten between them. For all he knew, they went the whole way. There was a hush of silence. Shuichi looked as if he were going to cry. Suguru knew what was bothering him and attempted to grab Hiro's hand to show Shuichi that Hiro belonged to him and him only. Shuichi saw this gesture and left, slamming the door behind them.  
  
Hiro sighed. "He just won't give up."  
  
"Do you still love him?"  
  
That was the ultimate question. Suguru awaited an answer and got scared when he didn't get one.  
  
"I...don't know. No. No I don't. He broke my heart one too many times and it's not going to happen anymore. I spent too many nights crying over him and I've had it. I love you Suguru, that's it. No one else. Just you."  
  
He leaned over and kissed him. The kiss was sweet and Hiro's hot breath tickled Suguru's bottom lip.  
  
"It's too bad they ruined the mood."  
  
"Is it possible that it gets better than what we just did?" Suguru asked.  
  
Hiro only smiled. "You have no idea."

* * *

Shuichi and Hiro weren't on speaking terms for the next few hours. Shuichi wasn't angry, just heartbroken. Eiri was enjoying the solemn Shuichi, relishing every moment of it. He was able to get a few pages of his new novel he was working on while Hiro and Suguru cuddled up on the couch and watched TV.  
  
"Is it possible they've given up the search?" Suguru asked, head on Hiro's stomach, lightly moving up and down with it every time he breathed. They were both enjoying the peace and quiet, but at the same time, found it almost quite disturbing.  
  
"I don't know," Hiro said, petting Suguru from the head down to his outer thigh. "But it's rather nice."  
  
"Yeah but before you know it, someone's going to be knocking on the door, then what? Wouldn't this be an obvious place to look?"  
  
Hiro shrugged. Suguru felt the motion. "Well...sure I suppose. I'm sure they know that Shuichi's my friend. But I see it this way, if was that obvious, they would have been here by now."  
  
"With Shindou's jealousy, I'm surprised he hasn't called the cops already, telling them that you were here."  
  
Hiro chuckled. "Shuichi wouldn't do that. We love each other. We will always be the best of friends. I trust him, that's why I'm here."  
  
"You know what I keep thinking, Hiro?"  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"The dream with Tohma. I can't get over how real that was. It was just so...lifelike. It felt so wonderful to be close to my cousin again...I just wish that whomever did it would just confess. Wouldn't they feel awful?"  
  
"I'm sure they're just as scared as we are."  
  
"Hey Fujisaki."  
  
Suguru looked over to the doorway and saw Eiri holding the phone.  
  
"It's that child superstar."  
  
Suguru knew who it was right off the bat, but had no idea why he would be calling here.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"I don't deserve Kumagoro anymore, Fujisaki-san," came the sobbing voice of Ryuichi Sakuma.  
  
Suguru's face went into a frown. "What are you talking about, Sakuma-san? What happened this time? Did you wet the bed again?"  
  
Ryuichi had done this before. He always says he has reasons to dump his precious bunny rabbit and it was usually something dumb.  
  
Suguru sighed. "Ryu-kun, I'm sure whatever it is you did, Kumagoro will forgive you. I'm sure it was nothing serious."  
  
Ryuichi was in hysterics. "It was serious this time! I wanted to call Shuichi, but he might be mad at me and you know Nakano-san, so you would understand me. I meant to say something before but I couldn't! Kuma told me that he would never speak to me again and spent the last few months hiding in the corner!"  
  
Suguru frowned and turned away from Hiro. "What did you do, Ryu-kun? I'll go over and have a talk with Kumagoro and see if he forgives you."  
  
Hiro rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath. Suguru couldn't believe he was talking like this to a full-grown man.  
  
"No one knows, Fujisaki-kun. I'm scared of what they'll do to me. I'm scared of what people will think."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"I can't even sleep! I keep seeing him in my dreams! I meant to confess but I was so scared!"  
  
Suguru's heart sped up.  
  
"I can't wash the blood off my hands! Scalding hot water won't work either!"  
  
Suguru felt himself weaken at the knees. "Sakuma-san, what are you talking about? You know what, never mind, I'll be right there."

* * *

Suguru ran nonstop alone to Noriko's where Ryuichi was staying for the time being. His mind was cluttered with thoughts of everything. Ryuichi not being able to wash blood off? Maybe he killed an animal or something and felt guilty. It had to be that. It just couldn't be what he had thought it was. No. He couldn't just jump to conclusions and think the worst.  
  
When he walked in the door, Ryuichi flung himself at him and sobbed on his shoulder. "I don't deserve Kumagoro anymore! I threw him out the window and into the dirt!"  
  
Suguru pulled him away and held him by the shoulders. "Sakuma-san, please, tell me what happened. I want to help you."  
  
Ryuichi's face was tear stained and his hands were trembling and blistered from hot water.  
  
"I wanted to tell someone. I had so many opportunities, but I'm scared!"  
  
As much as Suguru promised himself that he wouldn't jump to any assumptions, but he was running out of suggestions and everything was fitting nicely together.  
  
"Ryu-kun...does this have to do with my cousin?"  
  
Ryuichi fell to his knees. "We had a fight that day. After he left, I got drunk and tried to get rid of my problems. I've never yelled at him before like that and I felt awful."  
  
Suguru's mouth went dry and salty. Butterflies swarmed in his stomach and his head grew dizzy.  
  
"Tachi bribed me when I was wasted. He gave me a weapon and told me how to use it. My band member's blood is on my hands Suguru! I'm so scared. I'm scared to death. I tried to say something but it just wouldn't come out! I didn't mean to watch Hiro be pulled around left and right from cell to cell and go to trial, I just...I was just scared! Tachi had made sure I didn't say anything. That's why I was out of it for those few days after the funeral and I had an outer body experience towards you. I'm sorry if I hurt you."  
  
Suguru tried to contain himself as his head spun. This was it, it was finally over. Hiro was free to go. But getting Ryuichi to tell the rest of the world was going to be a hard one...or would it?

* * *

Ryuichi apologized a hundred times over the course of fifteen minutes, but it was nearly making Suguru nauseated. He was speaking to the man who murdered his cousin in cold blood. Still, he couldn't hate Ryuichi. Even though Ryuichi had done some horrible things to him in the past as well, he couldn't do it.  
  
Ryuichi had made it perfectly clear on how much he loved Tohma and would die a thousand times over in the most gruesome death to prove it. He also explained to Suguru that he planned on joining him once this was out in the open.  
  
"Sakuma-san please just don't talk anymore," Suguru said, clenching his stomach. His best friend and employer was dead because of him. It just couldn't be comprehended. It was so difficult to think it was real.  
  
"You hate me now," Ryuichi said in a low voice. "But that's okay, I hate myself too. Noriko told me how much Hiroshi-san loves you, so I knew I had to say something before they found him."  
  
"Does anyone else know what happened?"  
  
Ryuichi shook his head. "Only you and me. But don't worry because after this, I will be paying my respects to him by giving him my life."  
  
Suguru took his hands. "Ryu-kun, you know that I don't mean any harm against you and no you shouldn't go joining Tohma because that's not what he would want. He's well aware that it was an accident, a sick joke made up by Tachi, but if you don't tell the authorities about this, they're going to send an innocent man to the death. I'm not just saying this because I so happen to love and worship the one they're doing it to, it's...just...oh please Ryuichi...I don't want to see Hiro die. I have two parents that would not hesitate to put him to the death like they did to Tachi."  
  
Ryuichi traced a streak that was left over by a tear that fell down from Suguru's eye just seconds before. He wore a tiny smile of comfort.  
  
"I don't want to see him die either, Suguru. Even though Bad Luck was considered my rival pretty much, there's nothing I can do about it now, because of Tohma being gone, Nittle Grasper is certainly no more, so I want Shuichi and the rest of you to continue. Continue for me. I want you to be a success for yourselves, and for Tohma. I'm positive they won't have CD players or a radio where I'm going, so I'll just have to trust that you're future is being accomplished the way you want it to be...successfully done."  
  
Suguru knew where Ryuichi was to be going. He took his hand and placed it over his cheek and cried. Ryuichi had his heart set on the destination and would not break it, no matter who tried to talk him out of it. He suddenly felt at ease and peaceful.  
  
"Go on and live your life. My time in this world is over."

* * *

Voila! And there we have it, Ryuichi Sakuma. It was going to be him all along, I just didn't know how to add in clues that he was the murderer. The dream thing was real corny and was on a debate on whether or not it should be taken out. There's one more chapter after this, basically dealing with Hiro and his new life. I rushed the scene, I know, but I was running out of ideas and needed to finish this fic quickly and update all my others. I hope I didn't disappoint everyone with the ending here and personal thank you's will be given out to all who reviewed and kept reviewing throughout this fic in the final chapter. I couldn't have done it without everyone's wonderful comments. Thanks again!! I am entirely grateful


	32. Epilogue Everything I Do I Do For You

Yes, this is the final chapter to the longest and most successful story I've ever written. A BIG thanks to everyone who supported and urged me to continue, especially Eitriarch, who wouldn't give up until I finally posted the last chapter! Thanks, I owe ya. This last chapter is for you, hope you like it!

* * *

Ryuichi apologized a hundred times over the course of fifteen minutes, but it was nearly making Suguru nauseated. He was speaking to the man who murdered his cousin in cold blood. Still, he couldn't hate Ryuichi. Even though Ryuichi had done some horrible things to him in the past as well, he couldn't do it. 

Ryuichi had made it perfectly clear on how much he loved Tohma and would die a thousand times over in the most gruesome death to prove it. He also explained to Suguru that he planned on joining him once this was out in the open.

"Sakuma-san please just don't talk anymore," Suguru said, clenching his stomach. His best friend and employer was dead because of him. It just couldn't be comprehended. It was so difficult to think it was real.

"You hate me now," Ryuichi said in a low voice. "But that's okay, I hate myself too. Noriko told me how much Hiroshi-san loves you, so I knew I had to say something before they found him."

"Does anyone else know what happened?"

Ryuichi shook his head. "Only you and me."

Suguru took his hands. "Ryu-kun, you know that I don't mean any harm against you and no you shouldn't go joining Tohma because that's not what he would want. He's well aware that it was an accident, a sick joke made up my Tachi, but if you don't tell the authorities about this, they're going to send an innocent man to the death. I'm not just saying this because I so happen to love and worship the one they're doing it to, it's...just...oh please Ryuichi...I don't want to see Hiro die."

Ryuichi traced a streak that was left over by a tear that fell down from Suguru's eye just seconds before. He wore a tiny smile of comfort.

"I don't want to see him die either, Suguru. Even though Bad Luck was considered my rival pretty much, there's nothing I can do about it now, because of Tohma being gone, so I want Shuichi and the rest of you to continue. Continue for me. I want you to be a success for yourselves, and for Tohma. I'm positive they won't have CD players or a radio where I'm going, so I'll just have to trust that you're future is being accomplished the way you want it to be...successfully done."

Suguru knew where Ryuichi was to be going. He took his hand and placed it over his cheek and cried. Ryuichi had his heart set on the destination and would not break it, no matter who tried to talk him out of it. He suddenly felt at ease and peaceful.

"Go on and live your life. My time in this world is over."

Ryuichi did as promised and Hiro was free to go. Ryuichi had to do plenty of convincing to get Hiro off the hook, but when it all lead up to what had happened, everything made sense. It was also confirmed that that same afternoon, Ryuichi Sakuma was found dead in the same spot as his loving best friend, Tohma Seguchi. He was now at peace and would be left alone. He would be sadly missed and his death was not in vain. Even though two universal best friends were gone, the show must go on.

Two weeks had passed after that and Hiro was able to step out into the light again and see all his friends.

He still considered them friends, even though they didn't believe him. It was great to be Bad Luck again and Shuichi learned to get over the fact that Hiro was not going to be his, no matter how hard he tried.

They started touring again, much to their fans delights.

The day before the tour, Suguru had left practice early to go home. He lived with Hiro now and the two were an incredible item. Hiro stayed late, doing a few last minute changes for the tour. He said his farewells to Shuichi and K, promising he'd be at the studio bright and early the next morning to board the van and leave for the airport. As he rode home on his motorcycle, he only wondered why Suguru would want to leave early. He never left early before. Maybe he wanted to get his packing done and over with.

He hopped off his bike and entered the house, feeling thrilled he could go on with his life and not hide away from the public.

"Suguru?" he questioned when he didn't see or hear any presence of the young boy.

"In the bedroom, Hiro."

Hiro smiled at the voice of his beloved. He walked to the bedroom and stood in the doorway. Quickly, his smile disappeared and his eyes nearly fell out of his head.

"Suguru...?"

Suguru was standing at his side of the bed as he waited for Hiro's reaction. The room was filled with beautifully lit white candles and the bed had been made with satin sheets with two long stem red roses on the pillows.

"Did you do this?" Hiro asked.

Suguru nodded with a grin. "Yep."

"Well...you got your candles wish. Sorry I don't have a jacuzzi."

"The jacuzzi is long gone on my mind. This is good enough for me."

Suguru jumped into his arms and kissed him with all the passion he could dish up.

"Are you sure you want this?" Hiro asked.

"I want this more than anything else in the world, Hiro. I love you."

Hiro smiled. That's what he had hoped Suguru would say.

_Look into my eyes - you will see_

_What you mean to me_

__

_Search your heart - search your soul_

_And when you find me there you'll search no more_

__

_Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for_

_You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for_

__

_You know it's true_

_Everything I do - I do it for you_

__

_Look into my heart - you will find_

_There's nothin' there to hide_

_Take me as I am - take my life_

_I would give it all I would sacrifice_

__

_Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for_

_I can't help it there's nothin' I want more_

__

_You know it's true_

_Everything I do - I do it for you_

__

_There's no love - like your love_

_And no other - could give more love_

_There's nowhere - unless you're there_

_All the time - all the way_

_Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for_

_I can't help it there's nothin' I want more_

_I would fight for you - I'd lie for you_

_Walk the wire for you - Ya I'd die for you_

__

_You know it's true_

_Everything I do - I do it for you_

* * *

Am I rather GLAD this is over with! The ending was a bit rushed but after 32 chapters, I figured it was appropriate. And as far as the song was concerned, I figured that was appropriate too. I've also listened to it so many times when I was creating Hiro x Suguru scenes and it just stuck. Thanks for reading and reviewing everyone! 


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